Last Commented Limerick Poems (105)

i love you when we first met
i loved you when u first left
i love u in the good
i love you as i should
i miss you everyday
when u left me astray
i hope to love again
some day some day, when?

There once was a planet named Earth
Where money could tell you your worth
A lot of trees died
As the Greens were defied
Now breathing just isn't such mirth.

granny grandad mum and me
were sailing on the open sea
suddenly to our supprise
the boat tipped up and we captsised

into the water did we fall
granny grandad mum and all..
"look out gran ,here comes a shark
dont be daft were in the park,,,"

Well I Got Home and the door was locked
And I tried to ring the bell
I found a little bitty note that she had wrote
Telling me to go to hell
I crawled in the window got inside
She kicked me in the balls I cried
Called me a name said I lied
Kicked me again I thought I died
Took my clothes set em' on fire
And hit me with her curling iron
I tired to block it with my watch
And then she kicked me in the crotch again
Yeah today's the day my wife met my girlfriend
Well I tried to tell her but she didn't care
Things weren't what they seemed
She had a pan on the stove full of boiling water
And my nads would soon be steamed
I tried to run scream for help
She hit me in the nerts with a Rhinestone belt
It was like nothing that I ever felt
I thank god I wasn't wearing a kilt
She grabbed a bat from beneath the bed
She swung it once and she missed my head
She reared back swung again and
Then she hit me in the twins again
Yeah today's the day my wife met my girlfriend
Yeah today's that awful day,
Now my boys won't be the same

Can he see me that man in the moon in the sky ?
Can he see me I wonder with only one eye ?
I can see him and I’m far below.
Can he you think ? Well I just don’t know.
Does he care, do I care ? Think I’ll just say goodbye.

my loins burn,
i feel an uncontrollable itch,
catching my eye
is the unused condom...
i knew she looked infectious.

If it was true..where is the God, that leaves us here to suffer,
We strive and fail a life so blue, ..is this to make us tougher,
'bad parenting' I hear you cry, 'a God who knows not love,'
No management from way up high, ..no need to look above.
-
As life is what we see and do, at times..you must regret,
Mistakes are here for me and you, ..advice you cannot get,
So look inside your heart to see, what you're to do is right,
If not in life you are not free, ..except in bed at night.
-
At night you see...when you're inside, your lover..in and out,
and in and out and feel such pride, ..you'll see her scream and shout..,
She wriggles up and slams in strong, you pant and want it stronger,
And dream of what is very wrong, ..like her..you'd want it longer...

Elmo was bountifully endowed,
Could have any woman of the crowd.
Some women had waited in line
They knew he'd give them a good time.
'twas evident the way they moaned outloud.

Alas, Elmo got a disease you can't hide.
It was fatal - there were no more free rides.
The mortitian removed that thing by a knife,
Took it home to be viewed by his wife -and
She screamed,"Oh My God,Elmo has died".

slowly move toward me i can feel u your hand touch my mind lick my lips taste your sweet sweat made a sound just OH OH...wait just a minute all most there hold it don't move close your eyes say my name wait almost there wait wait here it c*m c*m wait shhhh wait hold it oh may gosh am ...am hold me so good wow can u smell it can u taste me so good slowly moving down my thigh heat warmth so good taste good wow my first cup of coffee ?

A fisherman sat with line all lank
perched on crooked stool that soon sank
backside now all mud covered
his face an embarrassed red
off home he went with his pants all dank.