Random Limerick Poems (105)

For men seem to wear disguises
women have blinders on their eyes.
They just do not seem to see
what is right in front of thee.

Women they need to really look
maybe open up that black book.
They need to see what took
time to get that man on the hook.

A congressman named George Henry Looper,
He was considered a conservative trouper,
"til he voted YEA
When the party said NAY
Now - he's a party pooper.

There was a potion labelled Love
Some folks can't believe that it came from above
The love-scenes raised eye-brows
Some folks believe God doesn't have a clue
But they forget that God is love

There once was a group on the Corner
To belong to was considered quite the honor
Then across the pond came a duck
And in limericks we got stuck
Now, before my friend joins, should I warn her?

There once was a girl with a hatchet

So sharp you'd be hard pushed to match it,

Don't get into a flap,

Far worse was her clap,

After last night you're certain to catch it.

Santa so fat in chimney got stuck
swearing and hot he got in a muck
kicking up much soot
boot fell off his foot
that night he was sure right out of luck

A pilot who was from Berlin
with his glider went into a spin
he recovered from that
as he was a bit fat
when you spin it's not good to be thin

Ten little boyfriends looking so fine
One was obsessed with food and wine
Then there were nine.

Nine little boyfriends asked me for dates
One comes always so very late
Then there were eight.

Eight little boyfriends searching for heaven
One was dishonest, appearing nice even
So there were seven.

Seven little boyfriends learning varied tricks
One fell down and just got sick
Then there were six.

Six little boyfriends very much alive
One get addicted to dancing the jibe
And then there were five.

Five little boyfriends knocked at the door
One broke his head falling on the floor
And then there were four.

Four little boyfriends who loved the sea
One got drowned, so sad you see
And then there were three.

Three little boyfriends who were nice and true
One disappeared without any clue
And then there were two.

Two little boyfriends loving the sun
One caught cancer when his skin was burned
So there was one.

One little boyfriend oozing with charm
But too dangerous for anyone
And then there was none.

granny grandad mum and me
were sailing on the open sea
suddenly to our supprise
the boat tipped up and we captsised

into the water did we fall
granny grandad mum and all..
"look out gran ,here comes a shark
dont be daft were in the park,,,"