IF HE LOVED ME; WOULD HE STOP DRINKING?????? (179)
bodleing: I once read that the relapse rate is as high as 95%, although one of my ex gf's has now gone over six years dry thanks to AA.
I can believe that about the relapse rate. It's not an easy thing to give up....nor is smoking.....or drugs.....or food. Addictions are powerful and rarely can someone kick it by themselves. Sometimes my husband would just go cold turkey and it worked and other times it didn't work.
Somebody earlier in the thread said the OP should gather up all the booze and throw it in the garbage. If that only worked it would be great but it doesn't. Before I understood alcoholism I used to dump the alcohol out of the bottle and fill it with water. That only fueled him to hide it in places I would never think of.
After our divorce, when he called me, all he had to do was say "hi" and I would know if he had been drinking. He would often say that I knew him so well that I knew what his next step was going to be.
Conrad73: doubt that!
The one thing that my husband didn't like about AA was the Serenity Prayer. He didn't believe in God and so he was never going to say that prayer.
However, one year for Christams I embroidered the Prayer and framed it as a gift for him. He hung it on the wall in his house where he walked past it everyday. I don't know if he put it on the wall because I made it for him or that he recited the Prayer when I wasn't around.
I do know that when his head was in the toilet I heard him saying "Oh God"....
montecito: I can believe that about the relapse rate. It's not an easy thing to give up....nor is smoking.....or drugs.....or food. Addictions are powerful and rarely can someone kick it by themselves. Sometimes my husband would just go cold turkey and it worked and other times it didn't work.
Somebody earlier in the thread said the OP should gather up all the booze and throw it in the garbage. If that only worked it would be great but it doesn't. Before I understood alcoholism I used to dump the alcohol out of the bottle and fill it with water. That only fueled him to hide it in places I would never think of.
After our divorce, when he called me, all he had to do was say "hi" and I would know if he had been drinking. He would often say that I knew him so well that I knew what his next step was going to be.
Somebody earlier in the thread said the OP should gather up all the booze and throw it in the garbage. If that only worked it would be great but it doesn't. Before I understood alcoholism I used to dump the alcohol out of the bottle and fill it with water. That only fueled him to hide it in places I would never think of.
After our divorce, when he called me, all he had to do was say "hi" and I would know if he had been drinking. He would often say that I knew him so well that I knew what his next step was going to be.
Yes I can relate to that, just one word and I knew if she'd been on the juice.
Run, don't waste any more time. If its hurting you and he aint serious about you,... then its proof that he loves the bottle more than you. Get outta there, Stop wasting time. If he is serious about changing for you.... he'll try to come clean and win you back.
WantedForLife: Run, don't waste any more time. If its hurting you and he aint serious about you,... then its proof that he loves the bottle more than you. Get outta there, Stop wasting time. If he is serious about changing for you.... he'll try to come clean and win you back.
He can only change for himself ,for no one else!WantedForLife: Run, don't waste any more time. If its hurting you and he aint serious about you,... then its proof that he loves the bottle more than you. Get outta there, Stop wasting time. If he is serious about changing for you.... he'll try to come clean and win you back.
You don't know if he's serious about her. Even if she was the worse woman in the world, his drinking has nothing to do with her. He WILL NOT change for her. He has to stop drinking because he is tired of being drunk. An alcoholic knows what they will go through with the shakes, throwing up and being so sick they wish they were dead. And so knowing that, they don't attempt to stop drinking. That's why I was always nearby when I knew he was going on the wagon. All he needed to know was that somebody cared. Somebody encourage him to stay off it a little bit longer. Sometimes we went hour by hour. Many times I gave him Valium to calm him down and it always worked until he got past the shakes and could be on his own. That's when we went to AA meetings. He didn't want to eat much but I made sure that he had healthy food as much as possible. This is not a game when a woman is the prize. The prize is his sobriety. That's what he works for.
Hahaha
Thats what I just said!
Thats what I just said!
WantedForLife: Hahaha
Thats what I just said!
Thats what I just said!
No, you said if he loved her he whould win her back by not drinking.
Conrad73: ....as you understand it(Or Don't)
There is more to it than reminiscing about drinking!
It's a Living-Problem once you stopped,not a Drinking-Problem.
There is more to it than reminiscing about drinking!
It's a Living-Problem once you stopped,not a Drinking-Problem.
I know my friend, but talking about it all the time was not something I wanted to do at that point. Anyway, I've been fine without AA and I don't care about drinking anymore~it doesn't define who I am.
Active Alcoholics don't have Relationships,they take Hostages!
Conrad73: Active Alcoholics don't have Relationships,they take Hostages!
I'm not sure about that and then again I think I know what you mean. When I was married to him I wanted to stay to make sure he was alright but I also knew I had to leave him when he put a shotgun in my face. It was a catch 22. It was actually better for him that I left and then befriended him while we lived apart. I made more headway with helping him in his temporary recovery then I ever could while living with him.
Reading this thread and with everything else I have seen and heard,
I am so happy I gave up alcohol years ago
I am so happy I gave up alcohol years ago
StillOfTheNight: Reading this thread and with everything else I have seen and heard,
I am so happy I gave up alcohol years ago
I am so happy I gave up alcohol years ago
StillOfTheNight: Reading this thread and with everything else I have seen and heard,
I am so happy I gave up alcohol years ago
I am so happy I gave up alcohol years ago
I am happy for you STN. You are one of the lucky ones...
Exactly !
I traded in my bottle of rum for a camera. I found something that I like and just like drinking, I've become pretty good at it.
I traded in my bottle of rum for a camera. I found something that I like and just like drinking, I've become pretty good at it.
Jeeepers: Exactly !
I traded in my bottle of rum for a camera. I found something that I like and just like drinking, I've become pretty good at it.
I traded in my bottle of rum for a camera. I found something that I like and just like drinking, I've become pretty good at it.
When are you going to start using your camera again? Looking forward to new puzzles.
montecito: When are you going to start using your camera again? Looking forward to new puzzles.
Okay. I'll see what I can find. I take one every now and then. Jeeepers: Okay. I'll see what I can find. I take one every now and then.
I just did one that I never saw before. It's the one at the dock. Originally I thought you had 50 puzzles but the dock one makes it 51. Did you just make the boat dock puzzle?
Nope,that's an old one. I just made a flower, but it's too easy.
you didn't blow it mate. If anything I bet you have gained a lot of respect.
Jeeepers: Nope,that's an old one. I just made a flower, but it's too easy.
Okay, I'll check out the flower. Do you ever do the puzzles Jeeps?
montecito: Okay, I'll check out the flower. Do you ever do the puzzles Jeeps?
sometimes. You two together go to and Advisor about Couples problem.I think this can be an expert Social doctor who is expert on Drinking problem.Go to rehabilitation Centers.Good Luck.If you love him Continue with him.And chase after this Alcoholic rehabilitation problem Center.This will be useful for You.
JameelK: thanks mate.. its not something i like to talk about.. but if it helps .. its worth it :-)
I know what you mean. montecito: Congratulations Jamee... When you get a dancing bananna, you know you've really accomplished something..
Hey !! Where's my dancing banana ? 
Jeeepers: Hey !! Where's my dancing banana ?
You're right. You are fighting a double whammy.
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It's like you won the battle, but the war isn't over.
I once read that the relapse rate is as high as 95%, although one of my ex gf's has now gone over six years dry thanks to AA.