Yep. But I think the secret is to enjoy yourself and enjoy being who you are. Many people present a facade of who they think their date partner is looking for. That's a fact. Even in their 20's.
And why was it easier when we were young? Probably because we didn't worry so much about what others think and we just wanted to have fun.
So maybe we need to remember those care-free days and takes some wise risks....
It is interesting when I read such things, but having experienced so much, I remember and have a better understanding of how spiritual attitudes affect our physical world.
It is easy to ascribe these things to God's warning, however this guy should be in Napal or in wherever so that the people in these areas get the warning. That is how God worked in the past, not over some internet to people to be unaffected by the warning.
Consistently, the warnings in the bible were preached or spoken to those who will be affected.
So please be careful when ascribing "God" to what another says. I remember reading about a certain woman who was following a couple of Jesus' apostles proclaiming how these men bore a message that could save them. But the message that this woman proclaimed behind these men did not come from God or from a spirit of God.
I believe that because we are all symbiotic beings made with the same spiritual and physical materials as our world (we were formed from the earth itself) that our collective thinking, our spiritual conditions of corruption is what is affecting our world.
God saw all this happening as our collective thinking weakens what we were created from.
So please be careful when perpetuating what another 'proclaims' in the name of God.... It is not always God who is the source and author of such proclamations.
I think that one will find that the 'cure' for rejection will depend on the level of the rejection. Small, relatively inconsequential rejection will usually be overcome relatively easily.
But a major rejection, such as that of a divorce (from the perspective of the dumpee more-so than the dumper) may invoke lifelong emotional scars that are not so easy to overcome and that may never be fully recovered from.
I think that it also is dependent on the number and frequency of the rejections that may also complicate subsequent coping mechanisms, and thus recovery strategies and abilities.
So I think it is difficult and perhaps unwise to try and write about rejection without distinguishing the various levels and frequency of such rejection in a person's life.
The Grief process that you describe (DABBA) also affects different people differently, and if the rejection (such as in a divorce) is sufficiently great, quite a few never get to the point of full acceptance and the relinquishing of underlying anger and perhaps depression.
Depends on the situation. If I had repeatedly warned my child not to muck around on chairs, and they continually ignored such warnings over time, then I would not feel sympathy for my child in such a situation if it was caused by continuing to not sit on a chair safely and correctly.
Children need to learn consequence for actions, including pain for things they do that they have been warned might cause such things to them.
If my child was not repeatedly doing such things, and then this happened, of course I would help my child, comfort my child, etc.
It really depends on the situation, the circumstances, and the like as to how I would respond.
It would depend if it was a self-imposed consequence, or an accident.
Good on you for making the decision to move into your own place. I fully understand how you feel.
While it is a big step, and it does have its good points and not-so-good points, the thing to remember is if the good points outweigh the not-so-good-points.
I think you have made the right decision. Yes there is some stress being accountable to the bank to pay back the loan, but if you can manage it, this is not a big deal.
Yes, sometimes there is lonliness in living alone, but that is only if you choose for it to be so. There is nothing wrong with going out for some social events like dinner, or a movie, or other activity so that you are not always at home alone.
I think you are doing amazing things now. I see you growing emotionally as you take each step into the future.
Maybe, you might think that you are matchable, but maybe you are wrong.
If you are not getting responses, then something might be wrong. You need to look at yourself to find out what you need to change to get responses.
I didn't have any problems getting responses from many women I met here from all over the world. I have made friends with real women on this site in China, Taiwan, Philippines, Australia, New Zealand, Croatia, Germany. These are just some of the countries that my female friends come from.
So some advice is to re-evaluate:
a) who you think are compatible (matchable) with you, obviously you aren't as matchable with these women as you think.
b) what your profile is like and what women want.
c) Are you realistic in your choices?
d) What counties are you searching for matchable ladies in, and are they the countries where many or any of your fellow countrymen have made female friends, and have relationships with them, and have married any of them?
If you are truly honest with yourself in thinking about these things and answering these questions, then I believe that you will begin to receive responses from ladies that are truly matchable with you....
Not a banquet, but I have shared meals that I bought for two with homeless people who could not pay me back. I have also even given some the clothes off my back when I saw the need while living in London, UK.
We can do these things if we choose to, they are actually not that hard to do. But it does take a great paradigm shift in our thinking and our faith to do so.
The lost coin. Again, yep! Many times have I searched for things that I lost. things that seem to be of little value. But in this case, in the culture of the day, women could be divorced and turfed out with only what they were wearing, hence why in some cultures today, you find women wearing gold coins sewn into their clothes, so to lose one of these could be the difference of being destitute or not should that have happened to her.
Indeed, I have experience that almost euphoric feeling of having found that which was lost of mine.
I suppose it depends on what one expects. If one posts certain topical subject matter that is consider or known to be 'contentious' then one must be prepared for what will be responded, both positive and negative.
At least you ask, and hence venture back into the water a little....
Just remember that what we post is subject to others responses positive and negative, and we need to be strong enough to cop all these to what we publish to the world.
It is interesting to observe in this account, how after his resurrection, he was not recognisable instantly by his close followers who had often been with him.
Was his face disfigured? No. Then why didn't Mary who had often tended him, and his disciples unable to instantly recognise him?
The obvious answer is that he looked different. His features were not the same as that body prior to the crucifixion that was placed in the tomb.
Somewhere it talks about having a new body in resurrection (new as in not recognisable compared to the past body). Here we see the proof of that statement.
So Jesus was able to walk around and people (especially the religious) couldn't distinguish him as the very same man they had stigmatised, and persecuted and killed.
He went about his resurrected business in peace without all the hassles of the previous life.
Resurrection brings about change that makes us unrecognisable to the casual observer, and even sometimes to those who are/were close to us.
This is one of the lessons to come out of this story and this account.
The intent of raising this issue, isn't to start a 'religious debate' but to:
a) encourage people to use their God given senses and minds,
b) to read things for what is actually written and come to conclusions for themselves,
c) and to not just to go along with something that has been established and presented as 'the truth' or 'the answer' because others simply say so or believe so.
Of course, people do respond, in all manner of ways. Everyone has a choice whether to read it, or not. Everyone has a choice whether to respond or not.
That is what it is all about. Choice. It is about each deciding for themselves based on the evidence that they find, and then living with that choice and in that choice.
Well, I can only speak from experience. I have met 'ghosts', 'spirits', etc. I have felt them, smelt them, and heard from them. Some might mock this, some might not believe in it, or me. It makes no difference.
Reality is reality. Take the miracle birth of Jesus Christ as an example. The story can be more really believed with modern understanding of IVF and surrogacy. Does this make the story true? It is up to each person to decide that for themselves.
So it is with belief in 'ghosts', 'spirits', 'aliens', or whatever one chooses to believe in or not believe in.
We are what we believe we are and we believe in what we choose to believe in.
When one really thinks about it, a cult is any belief system that sits outside of the mainstream accepted beliefs.
Are cults wrong? Some of them yes, but just about every popular movement was at one time regarded as a 'cult'.
Modern Christianity (that is defined as following Jesus) began as a 'cult'.
There are certain characteristics that many movements have. The people that are drawn to them do so out of many different psychological phenomena. Some, like myself, were just raised in them, and then it takes a huge amount of effort to retrain oneself to escape them.
But not everything that is mainstream is sane, or good.
Sometimes those living in recognised 'cults' are happier than those living in 'normal society'.
I think that everybody has been rejected at some point in their lives and can relate to how you feel right now.
Having been rejected a number of times by a number of people, I can understand how hurtful and debilitating this can be.
We all need to be accepted for who and what we are, but not everyone is suited to us and not everyone can stand our types of personalities.
The trick to avoiding rejection is to firstly honestly get to know who you really are, not who you think you are. Secondly, we need to hang out with a new bunch of people who are more attuned to our frequency. Sometimes this is challenging because we desire what is opposite to us, instead of what is similar to us.
I had to learn these things the hard way through many years of experience and rejection.
You are not alone. I finally found my soul mate in Fuzhou, China and she is the best person for me that I have ever come across.
You can find people who accept you, but it does take personal change and changing who you hang out with and who you get to know.
Remember that this conversation happened amongst a group of people with a radically different culture and religious outlook.
They argued over misunderstanding the very scriptures that they had read to them every Saturday. They took what was written literally and out of context, so they couldn't believe that Jesus could be the person prophesied to come in their culture and religion.
This is not uncommon even today.
People use the bible to preach whatever they want it to say. People misinterpret it still, take scripture out of context and reach conclusions that are wrong and then teach others to do the same.
This passage highlights how even though Jesus was born in Bethlehem, he lived in Egypt, and quite a few places before his family resettled in Galilee.
They only looked at the now (a fraction of the truth), and not the whole truth about this man. And they only looked at the politics of what it would mean to them (the loss of their power, control over the people).
Religion has not changed today. Nowhere is Sunday worship preached in the bible, Jesus certainly never preached it. Yet Christianity today thinks that Sunday worship is the right thing to do as just one example.
So I take it that you wait for them to contact you first. Buddy, online dating is just like the real thing. You have to take the risks do the initial footwork of introductions and emailing, etc.
The fake profiles will "hit you up", but the real ones will often just have a peek at your profile and wait for you to contact them.
I didn't have a problem finding many real women on here, making really good friendships, and even marrying one of them.
But I had to do the hard yards, risk the rejection, etc.
You can do it also (meet real women on here). But you will have to do it......
I used to feel this way, but then I learned a few things.
Firstly that a profession of christianity does not equate to believing and living christianity, and that a non-profession of christianity does not always equate to someone who does not live by the very priniples, standards and values of christianity.
I was married to a "believer" because I wanted a christian mate. Well, scenario one above was what I got.
Now I am married to a buddhist, and more of scenario two is what I have.
I attended many christian churches and I found the people there unsupportive, and mostly all about themselves. Happy to clap hands and sing but not to be there when a person really needed help. Ministers were happy taking the offerings and driving around in flash cars and living in big homes, but they weren't really about giving to the needy.
But I must admit I found some really lovely older people there that were great to chat with.
I learned a deep lesson that I read in the bible where Jesus seemed to hang out with those who accepted him, and they weren't many of the religious leaders and church people of the day.
It made me wonder about a great many things, and then I realised that profession of chrisianity or non-profession of christianity really didn't matter. It was the actions, the soul attitudes that mattered.
Two "Christians" can be married and be in hell because profession is not living it, and non-confession is not necessarily denial of Christ.
As a matter of fact, the "father of the faithful" didn't attend church, didn't have a profession of Christianity and was married to his half sister. the "man after God's own heart" was a murderer, adulterer, poet, composer, etc. Moses who was said to be a 'type of Christ' in the new testament didn't even have a religious upbringing. In a matter of fact, he married the daughter of a pagan priest.
Not everything is as it appears, and not all who do or do not profess belief in Christ do or don't live by the very principles of "christian" teachings.
Yep. A beautiful blog. I can relate very much to what you say here. Some seasons are longer than others, some storms more powerful, yet after each of these pass, the new seems so much more brighter and better.
We are all frequency, ups and downs. Everything is designed like this.
Indeed hope keeps us alive and able to sometimes just stand still while we wait for the storm to pass.
Wow, so quickly. Congratulations. I hope that it is all what you hope it will be. I hope your future with your husband will be filled with happiness, contentment, and love.
And why would you think yourself "horrible + terrible mum"?
Is there reasons for this judgement, or is it bait to get compliments and sympathy?
We all make mistakes in life. It takes a big person to admit to them.
It takes an even bigger person to learn from them and to change so that such things cease happening in our lives.
Habbits and personality traits can be changed if we are true to ourselves and really want to change to become a better person.
You can do it, I can do it. We all can. So if you feel that you are "horrible + terrible", then do something about it so that you are not these things any more.
And it can be the prison that keeps you bound to things that cause you pain. (a rebellious child, a dying relative, a disintegrating relationship caused by the other person not loving you any more).
Love is a very powerful thing that binds people for the better and for the worse.
Well, any conjecture is just that. Let the man have his privacy just like the book does!
Most probably, since he would have gone through his manhood ceremony at 12, he probably helped his father in his carpentry business.
Since there is also no mention of when or how his father died, only that he did,he may have provided for his family (but this is just speculation). That is assuming his father died in the early part of this period.
There can be many theories. But in reality we are not told and it was not recorded.
Everything written about this period in the physical life of Jesus of Nazareth is pure story without basis in truth or fact.
I think that you know in your heart whether there could be any future with this guy.
It is obvious to me that he is not a one woman sort of guy. His facebook page that you describe obviously reveals his character, his lifestyle.
The question you need to ask yourself is "Can you live with a guy like this?" There is no point justifying a fictitious reasoning that if you two get together, he would change.
Many women do this. With guys, what you see is what you get. This is reality.
So, if you like him, that's good and fine. I like many women, but I couldn't live with most of the women I like. That is a fact.
My first marriage was based on the premise that I could deal with her differences, but she could not handle my differences to her.
So to you I say. Ask yourself what you can live with and what you can't live with. If you can't live with this obvious character and promiscuity, then you have to say "bye bye" to him, otherwise you will end up hurting yourself and hurting him in ways he probably won't even recognise.
Eventually, you will resent him for who he is because he lives a lifestyle that is not one that you can live with long term.
Do a reality check with yourself. Don't try to fool yourself, and make your decision before you get emotionally trapped and major hurts, problems, and conflicts come about.
Could be worse. You could be under constant threat of death as many are in many parts of the world.... Find contentment in what you have. At least you have it better than many in other places.... JMO
Halv0 Blog Comments (196)
RE: Even if I had a "real Date", it's been so long tha
Yep. But I think the secret is to enjoy yourself and enjoy being who you are. Many people present a facade of who they think their date partner is looking for. That's a fact. Even in their 20's.And why was it easier when we were young? Probably because we didn't worry so much about what others think and we just wanted to have fun.
So maybe we need to remember those care-free days and takes some wise risks....
When I did, I was very pleasantly surprised....