God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.
Never take someone for granted, hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones.
Honestly, I never 'plan' on falling in love. It just happens. I'm not sure how much we can control our emotions. I've kept my distance from a few men, only to fall because they were so persistent.
For me, I think I grew to trust them. And in doing that, I left my guard down. Hurting is a TERRIBLE feeling that I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemy. But we seem to let someone in over & over again.
In the words of the immortal Kathryn Hepburn... We can never choose who we fall in love with.
So many on here have said they won't do it again. I've lost count of how many times I've said that. But I find myself opening up & trying again & again. Why? Because it's a great feeling to be 'in love' & know that you're so very special to someone else.
I haven't been in a serious, committed relationship in 3 years. I'm not sure it'll actually happen again, to tell you the truth. But hey, I'm not dead yet, either.
I don't think this requirement is unreasonable, at all. For me, if a person doesn't speak properly, it's like nails on a chalkboard. It's just a pet peeve I have. If they don't speak properly & it bothers me, we just aren't a good match. Then I have to move on & find "the right match" for me.
Each person has little things that they just can't tolerate from a perspective mate. That's their taste. That's what makes us each unique. I also wouldn't be able to handle someone who chews tobacco. That's just me.
As far as things I would want from someone I would consider dating... I think the top of my list would be having at least his high school diploma & a decent steady job. He must have 'drive'. That, again, comes from being married to my ex, who had neither. I just know that I'll never 'settle' again.
Here's one I have... I can't date someone who is a poor speller. Also, someone who doesn't speak proper english when talking. My family gets mad at me because I'm always correcting them. Imagine if I were to date someone who spoke poorly... we'd be done after the first date, because he'd hate me 'picking on' him!
Hey, you just rounded up pretty much all the occupations I've dated in the past! How'd you do that??
But seriously, I remember having co-hosted on a local radio station years ago & guys were to call up & I was to 'pick a date' from these guys.
One stipulation I had in my choices was NO CONSTRUCTION WORKERS, as I was just coming out of my bad marriage. My reasoning for this was because my ex, being a construction worker, never had a steady job or money. It left a bad taste in my mouth. But I have an ex-boyfriend who also was a construction worker. But he worked for a legitimate construction company & made very good money in that occupation. So, my view on that changed.
But it's true! I'm sitting here at my friend's house. Stayed overnight here, because we went out last night. She's still in bed & I'm sitting here 'refreshing' the computer screen. NOBODY'S here today!!
Don't you think some of these preferences might have something to do with past experiences, J?
For instance... I'd never date any of my brother-in-law's friends because that was how I met my ex. I wouldn't date construction workers for the longest time, because that was the line of work my ex was in. Sometimes past experience my give us reasons for our current preferences.
Well, since I'm the only one who bothers doing anything with our father, my sister & brother can't really say anything to me. I live farthest away from the home, yet I'll be picking him up & dropping him off, getting the wheelchair in & out of my trunk. Plus I'm giving haircuts.
I agree. I've met people on other forums. But I've never gotten as close to people & gotten to know them as well as on this forum. I have several I've spoken to. Isn't it great??
We'll have the traditional ham, mashed potatoes, noodles, broccoli (frozen, because they just don't buy fresh) corn, & rolls at my sister's. But I guess I can't complain since I don't have to cook or clean up, huh?
I'm taking the train to her house on May 21st. Then we jet off on May 22nd to SF!! WOO HOO!!! I need this vacation more than ever! And I'm sure she does too.
sweetowen Forum Posts (8,850)
Some words to live by...
But why work so hard?