This time I want to be a guest..no sewing or arranging any more bloody weddings that Lola one did a runner and the blasted groom turned up the wrong week
They would first need magnifying lens to view such a small brain- they would also need a spell to be able to make this species speak in a language that could be understood by them. Once this was done They uttered the Magic Word "AlahKzam!!" and the door opened before them revealing ...revealing yet another magic door, trying the magic word the door wouldn't open. So they had to return..... To the Master at which he then told them it had all been a horrible dream and they were still back on the nudist beach and no where to hide their coddle which was made of snots on toast with Diareha pie all mixed up with a dead dogs eye, Piccadilly custard, half a pound of gick, all mixed together with a mugful of sick, which was in their handbags mixed with all The other necessities you would find in the female purse...lazer gun, typhoid pill, juice maker, bandaids, swiss army knife...and the most shocking thing of all a vibrating Armadillo, which was adopted by them after their unfortunate trip to Egg timer!!...that was cracked right down the centre, it was damaged in the explosion when the Scientist returned from Mars after seeking out new life forms and now without it there was no way they could all The planet mars, turns out this was the only intellectual speciMEN they could find So not a wasted trip after all as they had learnt so many things, and met so many new specimen- but now they needed to go on a retraining course for their magic fingers as when they were trying to light the fire to cook the coddle they realised poor Charlie was in the way and they Accidentally burnt the most vital part of his Anatomy which was his cranium, that was where all the information was stored for all their secret missions, and it also stored all the passages of the bible which they needed to know for all their nunn-ing jobs o the next step was to Just shoot him and find someone more intelligent to lead them on Send a probe to the next possible position of his secondary brain and locate this information somehow... so they lay him down and then with one mighty push shoved the probe where the sun don't shine, they woulda used his nostrils but they were too disfigured n burnt, and anyways for some reason they seemed to have an irrational phobia of nostrils so did indeed decide to shoot him- and so now the mission was on to find a new and improved leader. This quest brought them to Venus!!...where they should have gone in the first place and saved themselves all THIS HASSLE!!! But HASSLE was their middle name- so they lived to fight another day
Extra long lens Which he bought in Dixon’s on sale, with the money he had Hidden so carefully up The bishop’s robes, whom he had met whilst He was in Training for the S.A.S.... And it was there that they learnt to say more than their prayers, unfortunately though they sometimes. Said more than a decade or two of the rosary every night before they went to bed and sometimes when the lights went out you could hear the "Bang, Bang!! "..And pounding noises coming from inside the barracks and they all knew never to question those noise Mother superior, who was head of the religious branch of the sea’s she was known to be a... Cross Dresser by night She made an uglier man Dan she did woman, which was why she joined the sea’s nunnery, she also loved to torture souls by making them. Watch her undress cos she knew it would shock them when they saw her HUGE gun, which she kept hidden in the top of her knickers she always had it cocked n ready to use at a moments notice for any offending, foreign objects that came anywhere near her precious. Rose garden, she was a keen gardener n had won prizes for her Beautiful Colourful Bloomers Which were beautiful to look at, but the smell would kill........ A three legged wonky donkey so called coos he lost one of his legs when Mother Superior who ride to S.A.S headquarters, which was in the hills of....... Anyone who was invited, D red 1s released a deadly toxin, quickly overpowering those who were dressed well as in D cross dressers Than the S.A.S Gucci clad hit squad who also worked part time as Intelegance Agents that sought out human life forms on the male planet of Mars ...so far they have come to the conclusion no need for worry from world domination as they found only a lower species exist and have now decided to. To go to Venus the planet of women for more intellectual stimulation Return to Venus on their intelligence quest, as it was here they found much higher life forms who with this Information and Superior Intellectual race they plan to Rid the world of stupidity, and people who won't ask for directions when they are lost going to Their mothers House Cos without their Maps...they were completely lost, meantime Charlie, still looking for his angels came upon the Barracks that Mother superior ran with an Iron fist and a Broomstick, because she was secretly a witch and was Was at present on a recruitment drive for anyone who wanted to join her In her quest to make the species from mars more intelligent n attractive to look at, though so far all she managed to do was On her way to the bishops house as he was hosting "Antiques Road show” and she had a fine Relic to show him before finally giving. Miss her cue...did we forget to say she was also very forgetful and not as Intelligent as most after all she had originally herself come from Mars so her own Intelligence was under
to the magic door in the west, but alas!! they couldnt go in because they forgot the magic words, they sent one of the goblins back to the glen to ask the master for the priceless words. He told them the secret lies within...
snots on toast with Diareha pie all mixed up with a dead dogs eye, picadily custard, half a pound of gick, all mixed together with a mugful of sick ...after the concoction was created they placed it in........
Kiss me, honey, honey, kiss me Thrill me, honey, honey, thrill me Don't care even if I blow my top But, honey, honey, don't stop I'd like to play a little game with you A little game especially made for two If you come close then I will show you how Closer, closer, now Kiss me, honey, honey, kiss me Thrill me, honey, honey, thrill me Don't care even if I blow my top But, honey, honey, don't stop We've never played this little game before If you relax then you'll enjoy it more Just settle down and let me teach you how Closer, closer, now Kiss me, honey, honey, kiss me Thrill me, honey, honey, thrill me Don't care even if I blow my top But, honey, honey, don't stop (But, honey, honey, don't stop) You kiss so well my lips begin to burn And I can tell I've got a lot to learn So hold me close and darling show me how Closer, closer, now Kiss me, honey, honey, kiss me Thrill me, honey, honey, thrill me Don't care even if I blow my top But, honey, honey, don't stop (Don't care even if I blow my top) But, honey, honey, don't stop (Never stop)
Who knows how much I love you, You do; No one means more to me than, You do, You take December and smile it into May, And then December comes back again When you're away; Who has a charm that very few do, Who makes life necessary; You do. And who can take my dreams, And make my dreams come true; Who don't give me three guesses, One will do.
As it grooves your body moves Your body starts to get the feelin', and what you're feelin' is happiness Let your body go as you listen, let it flow through your system It'll take control of your mind and make you move your behind
As it grooves you feel the tension in the air and now you're hype You're gettin' down because the sound is just your type G.M. and D.O.S.E's kickin' it to you right So come on, come on and party hardy all night, and
Wiggle it just a little bit, I wanna see you wiggle it just a little bit, as it grooves Wiggle it just a little bit, I wanna see you wiggle it just a little bit, as it grooves
Once the DJ lets it spin, it'll penetrate your skin It'll penetrate your soul and make you lose control The D.O.S.E's comin' atcha, invadin' you like a body snatcher Whether if you're drunk or sober this here groove is takin' over your body
And now you're partyin' like you've never partied before You're jumpin' up and down like crazy on the dance floor You're gettin' busy like a bee and that's the truth, I got a feelin' there's a fire
Wiggle it just a little bit, I wanna see you wiggle it just a little bit, as it grooves Wiggle it just a little bit, I wanna see you wiggle it just a little bit, as it grooves
I bet you're moving your body from side to side I bet the groove that you're hearin' is keeping you satisfied Dancin' by yourself is bad for your health So grab a cutie by the hand and tell her that you wanna dance
If I had a hammer I'd hammer in the morning I'd hammer in the evening all over this land I'd hammer out danger, I'd hammer out warning I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters All over this land
If I had a bell I'd ring it in the morning I'd ring it in the evening all over this land I'd ring our danger, I'd ring out warning I'd ring out love between my brothers and my sisters All over this land
If I had a song I'd sing it in the morning I'd sing it in the evening all over this land I'd sing out danger, I'd sing out warning I'd sing out love between my sisters and my brothers All over this land
When I've got a hammer, and I've got a bell And I've got a song to sing all over this land It's a hammer of justice, it's a bell of freedom It's a song about love between my brothers and my sisters All over this land
TurkishDelight Forum Posts (3,998)
that Lola one did a runner and the blasted groom turned up the wrong week
I aint
RE: The tv programmes you can't believe you watched.....
Give us a P BobDid you ever watch the Sullivans