patmac Forum Posts (9,662)

Troll Limericks

CalAMITY......


You met the Ex then...

RE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NULIII

Happy Birthday Nuliii

Troll Limericks

There once lived a troll
With a very scary smile
He had only one eye
And a breath
That you could smell it for a mile.

Troll Limericks

The most realistic trolls are the Nyform
To the ones found in legend they conform
They have greater detail
And they sell at retail
And their 'Troll News" does misinform!


Have fun folks

Post your own I might put some more on

RE: What do you expect from a relationship ?

Plenty of those on Thailand.....Not two sure the front end would suit either of you....

Evening Lads

RE: My CS experience

RE: The No Quote Thread...

A tuneful Quat

RE: The No Quote Thread...

OOOOOO NO some folk just have to QuaT......Well how do you think they give birth to a Troll

RE: If Jesus was born today.

And nearly as many profiles as your average Troll

RE: The No Quote Thread...

Can't get to you tonight, will this help

RE: If Jesus was born today.

Jesus born today .....No chance

Well there is a distinct lack of Virgins

And Joseph would really have googled the Holy Ghost.....


As for Three Wise Men....Three Trolls would be a better bet

and as for Gold,Frankensense and Myrhh

The Trolls just leave

Grief, Frustration and Mayhem

And would the Bethlehem Hilton let you bed down in their carpark...

Let alone give birth in Hymie Goldblatt's Roller....

Nah, little chance...And in any case who would travel miles and miles by order of the Government....

Only a thought...

OH DEAR

“Of course I won't laugh,” said the nurse. “I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.”

“Okay then,” said Frank and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width - it couldn't have been bigger than an AAA battery. Unable to control herself the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing.

Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.

“I am so sorry,” she said. “I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?”







“It's swollen,” Frank replied.



She ran out of the room.

RE: Once Upon a Time on CS.......

Tie for me to toddle off folks.

Night all have fun ignoring the Ranter (did I spell the correctly)

RE: Once Upon a Time on CS.......

Deep Joy,I have been saved the Man has banned me from another of his threads....All because he asked for a list of the lies he has posted.He promised he would apologise


I of course posted a list of all his threads.....

The big lad could not handle it, of COURSE....

RE: Once Upon a Time on CS.......

Trolls and other fools who post total rubbish should be ignored. I fully agree but like an itch you should never scratch,we all in varying degrees do.

Shame really as we all are letting these fools push us around.

They challenge us all and we respond, sometimes we have to, but like the Kid said, and we all know it ignoring them is best..

So I will let him post his crap and ignore him.

RE: what are you going to do, what have you done today?

Shame Sundays crosswords are the best....

RE: Once Upon a Time on CS.......

Hard to do when both he and his acolytes flood the threads as they have done.

RE: Please Santa

OK

RE: Please Santa

OK

RE: Once Upon a Time on CS.......

A few anyway and we all have a good guess who.....Sad how folks get their Jollies....

Must be lacking in something.....Vitamin C possibly ????

What did I say?????

A married couple had been out shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon, suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared".

The somewhat irate spouse called her mates cell phone and demanded: Where the hell are you?

Husband: Darling you remember that Jewellery shop where you saw the Diamond Necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn’t have money that time and said Baby it’ll be yours one day.



Wife, with a smile blushing: Yes, I remember that my Love.








Husband: Well, I’m in the Pub next to that shop

THE CLEVER TROLL

Tried to decode it Jac, no joy......

RE: Describe your self in 3 words!

TrollFree Zone

THE CLEVER TROLL

Was that a flea or a fly Jac ?

THE CLEVER TROLL

53,000 Trollsmeet in St James Park Newcastle for a ’TrollsAre Not Stupid’
convention.
Mr HARD addresses the crowd ’We are all here today to prove to the
world that Trolls are not stupid.
Can I have a volunteer please?’

Mr Misty gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the
stage.

Mr Hard asks him ’What is 15 plus 15?’ After 15 or 20 seconds Misty
says, ’Eighteen!’

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.
Then the Trolls start chanting, ’Give him another chance! Give him
another chance!’

Hard says ’Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and
global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance.
So he asks ’What is 5 plus 5?’ After nearly 30 seconds he eventually
says, ’Ninety?’

Hard looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh.
Everyone is disheartened and Misty starts crying.
But then the 53,000 Trolls begin to yell and wave their hands
shouting, ’GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!’

Hard, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually
says,

’What is 2 plus 2? ’Silence hangs over the stadium. Misty closes his
eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, ’Four?’

Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Troll crowd stand
to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream



’GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!’

Morning Folks....

Trekking with a Troll

In the mid west of America, deep in the heart of the forest, two Red Indians and and Troll were trekking.
Suddenly they came upon a a cave and one of the Indians went up to the entrance and called "Wooooo Woooo Wooo" Back came an answer "Woooo Woooo Woooo " and the Indian raced into the cave.
"What was all that about" asked the Troll. "Well in some of the caves there is a beautiful Indian maiden ready for love and that’s how you attract her attention"
After a few more miles they came upon another larger cave and the second Indian went up to the entrance and called "Wooooo Wooooo Woooo" Back came’ the answer "Woooo Woooo Woooo" and the second Indian raced into the cave.
The Troll went on a further few miles and came upon a huge cave. He thought to himself "There must be one hell of an Indian maiden in there" and with that he tore off his clothes and raced inside.

The headlines in the local paper the next morning read " Naked Troll killed by a train in a tunnel"



All together now folks

RE: Funny side up

Yep, you are still squawking


Amusing, pathetic but,amusing

RE: Funny side up

First time ever a joke posted itself......Still keeping me amused

RE: Funny side up

Might post a few later today Just watching what the nice folk are posting.

RE: Funny side up

Now this news I am sure Bode will call an early Christmas present....