I'm a bit like that too. I take comfort in my inability to predict the future. You never know when you may receive a pleasant simle or a gentle touch that will make whatever was bothering you fall away.
However a friend(I) once had his(my) girlfriend casually coment about waking up in bed with another man during their(our) relationship. She was annoyed by how long he let his alarm clock go off and complained to me about it. Some people... but it's kind of funny now.
I am very sorry to hear about your loss. As far as coping goes just take a minute at a time at first, and cry when you need to. In time, things will get easier.
RE: ANY LADIES SMOKE CIGARETTES WANNA MEET???
I'll share man.I'm fairly confident one should avoid the word "melons", seems to offend some.
The rest could take some time...