hedistuff Poetry (252)

oh memory
memory...why do you haunt me?
plenty of misery served up every meal
but little goodtimes...do I feel

here's to you ol' anybody
happy in your skin, oh golly
what size shoe do you wear?
would you loan 'em out on a dare?

so I might be celebrative
a first time when not abbrasive
may I also borrow your laughter
to be a friend is what I'm after

I was never one to be the one
that others sought to find
when that one would be the one
to be understanding and so kind

can't learn from my mistakes
no matter how high the stakes
stub my toe again and again
even when it's my best friend

there must be a land somewhere
for folks like me that just don't care
how we became the why and the wherefore
with no question of bein' careful

need a sense of path to take
with turns of right or wrong
maybe something easy to follow
I need it soon, I won't last long

if I can just leave the memory
of time served up to now
look at me, I can be
your next best
pal

close your eyes to me...for now
close your eyes for me and I will lead you astray
open your eyes to me..for now
open your eyes for me and see
where we're...leading to

me and you in the calmed sea
floating in .... side by side
tighter to each other
...every breath we take
til at last we are safe
so...

take me in your arms, my love
hold me in your arms
and I'll..
...hold you in mine

I've always been on a plane
higher or lower, above or beyond,
all others
even when it seemed as though I were on the same plane
...merely with the turning of a page
or the dawning of a new day
turned out, I never really were at all
though I tried
I never could find that niche
to be in unison with those about me
...reserved
whether at a Yes/Eagles concert crowd of thousands
or a close family picnic by the lake
somehow...I was still alone
when the music was over
or as the last embers of the fire fought against the night
I was cognizant, unhappily, that I was not happy
I've always wondered, now what do I do?
but obviously, I went on
and on and on and on and on...ad nauseum
but I still have my novel!
that great novel that I've always strived to write
it's called 'The Last Husband'
the story's still in my head
..if only I had another to write it for me
oh well....
I suppose that I have always accepted 'oh well'
as my 'out'
oh well
I suppose that my great novel will only have to
....fly solo along with me

I know now that I'm ready to die now
I don't know how or why
only that it's okay with me if I die
It's a pretty good feeling
neither spiritual nor religious
...just an easing
no suicidal thoughts or rot of that nature
I have merely reached that point
death is welcome
I recognized this last week
don't know how or why
haven't dwelt on it
just thought that I would express it
while I still could
there is no hidden agenda for family and friends
to try and right the ship
...the ship is well afloat
I'm alive and well
I must be....I'm still typing
I'm certainly not belittleing(belittling?)
others deaths....
every day I awaken to be saddened by another death
of someone close or previously unknown to me
it's just that I accept...welcome it now
I have little more to accomplish
...nor much more to say
but I really did little of either...anyway
I don't feel sorry for myself
I feel lucky!
now it is as though
all screws have been removed
I'm now free
I may act with any and all abandon I see fit
but my actions are little changed
as long as I'm still around...
I will continue to try to act in the best interests
of my family and loved ones
but truth is
bluntly
I care little if I'm here...or not
it's an easing
welcome...
death

I saw her for the first time
on the boardwalk in the sun
a fetchin' lass
finished my glass
and took off in a run
I couldn't let her escape me
I had to meet her face
for if beauty were merely fleeting
I must stop it in one place

I just knew that when I met her
there was plenty I must say
caught up to her
and spoke to her
she smiled and turned my way
my head did spin, my jaw did drop
at what she said with glee
'I was hopin' you would follow
I saw your eyes all over me'

(and if I had my druthers
my hands are next in line
for I tell you straight my brothers
this baby's bod was fine)

we walked the shore that evening
hand in hand tight 'neath the moon
and when we kissed
it brought such bliss
it made us squeal and swoon
I had to pinch myself in wonder
that she even was with me
for if past experience dictates
alone again I'd be

we made such love
with ol' moon above
it's light shone down so bright
neverfore for me to realize
I was her catch for the night!

my feeble stabs at prose...are not poetry at all
and the words I assemble...one would never recall
oft a dash of emotion might I dribble
upon the nothing notions that I scribble
creating dull thud scenarios for none to follow
leading only to nowhere for my words are all hollow
....me

Good name in man and woman, dear my lord,
Is the immediate jewel of their souls.
Who steals my purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing;
'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him,
And makes me poor indeed.
.....william shakespeare

Tears in the bathroom
What can one do about tears in the bathroom?
On my side of the panel, fear and concern held me in it's grip
I tried to turn the doorknob...it was locked
I lightly tapped upon the door
No response
In a soft voice I whispered my disquiet
No reply
Abruptly, I began mumbling words of concern with rising ire
This act only increased the sobbing in number and volume
I now had become frantic
All calm reason had disappeared
I began pounding on the door
Screaming now, I demanded that she open this door
Finally, beyond the door, a cracking, woesome voice was heard
'No...go away'
Well, that did it
I ran to my toolbox and fetched a screwdriver
I shall remove that door from it's hinges, I thought
The first two of the three hinges were easily loosened
Meanwhile the crying became more frantic and much, much, louder
The last set of screws were stuck fast to the hinge
I thought, they are rounded off and rusted, can't get them out
I decided that a man's gotta' do what a man's gotta' do
So, I pried open and grabbed the top of the door
Out of control, this had become dangerously personal now
I wrenched the door free
Tearing out a section of the frame where the hinge had held fast
A loud piercing shriek came bellowing from her mouth
As our eyes met, she screamed at me
'What in the hell is wrong with you?'
Suddenly I was at a loss for words
I muttered 'I thought something was wrong...that you needed help'
'Oh my god' she said
'Yes, I need help'
'Can you mend a broken fingernail?'

looking back at earlier lifetimes
that can't compare with you
when the snow was blowing
or the sun came shining through
'cause now our life together
shields us from all storm
and when we hold each other
we're always safe and warm

as we're walking through this life
our grateful hearts are free of strife
from the first time that I saw you
then...I knew
finally my heart and mind were free
that I loved you and you loved me
at long last all our hopes and dreams
came true

freedom just to be ourselves
no placing passion on a shelf
when we feel something, we do it
through and through
no guilty thought stands in our way
no outside party here to say
you folks cannot do the things you do

I'm speaking here of trivial matters
or important stuff of varied gathers
mental, physical, religious, or
...politics too!
none of that affects us now
nor did it ever then somehow
were neverfore to realize
...but now we do

and so a new year fast approaches
without fear of all encroaches
on our journey, as our sweet love
guides us through
we've moved on to bigger things
the sweet song that our hearts now sing
for you love me and baby I love you...

there's a sadness hung on me
weighed down like a stone
of the time that I ran off
and left you alone
now, I lay awake breathin'
with heavy a sigh
for I left you with nothing
not even goodbye

took me years to awaken to what I was missing
now I can't sleep, for the pain is so dear
my nerves are all shot
my body is shakin'
memory only haunts me of when you were near

just kills me to think of all that I wasted
didn't then feel the love, but now feel the lack
can't look in the mirror
for all I see is fear
no matter how I try, the past can't come back

Wow! Snuck in on me...us. A lotta distraction made me/us/me lose focus. 'HAPPY ANNIVERSARY' darlin'...! I love you Lyn. Golly, two entire years and no broken bones, need for crutches, nor any black eyes...Well, don't give up hope. I miss you...
Lyn and I were married at Glenville WV, maybe....2009. Us and our boy Jimmy, went to this tall building (I think it was two stories, though I have forgotten exactly what that means....), whether that means that aside from the ground floor, there is another floor above, or two floors above...well, this building had another floor above. wait a minute, what am I talking about...we never left the floor!
We went into this office and there was a woman in there. I think that she worked there. She was kinda stuck back in the corner and I think that her job there was to say as little as possible...Now there's a job that neither I nor wife Lyn could ever hold. We can hold a lot of things...our liquor, usually our promise, our children, our pets, but...our tongues? We're both fired!
Well, after a bit this feller entered the room by this whole other door that we didn't know was there. He called hisself Judge and we ain't never quick to judge a Judge...but this feller acted like he was all lost or somethin'. We were hopin' that he had entered the wrong room by accident. But no. He said he was there for us...which got me to worryin, what does he wanna do with us?
Come to find out real quick. He said he was the marryin judge and would we follow him into...this other room. Well, I had Jimmy hang back in the one room (with the lady that don't like to talk, our Jimmy can cure that), and I made Lyn go first behind this character, tellin' I'll watch out no one sneaks up behind us. We were led to the marryin post...I guess. He carried a book, but he never opened it!
I kept lookin back and forth at him and then at Lyn to see if maybe theys was awinkin' at one another. But weren't no one winkin'. I was blinkin'...and dizzy...It was like..."How the hell did I get here? Where the hell am I?" (just teasin' darlin') Anyway, this feller started spoutin' stuff and every time that he stopped, Lyn would nudge me with her knee or elbow, and that's how I learned to say...Yes.
Come to find out that just by obligin' and playin' along that after a while, I got to kiss the pretty woman to my left. I liked that and decided right then and there that because I liked that so well that we were gonna do that alot! There was no one else in the room but we three and was then that he, and his book, strolled on out. So we strolled on out...a different door, of course. I don't know where his door went. Our's led us back to Jimmy and that poor secretary.
Well, I suppose that we were now wed, and we, I, of course, headed to where I, we, needed to go...to the bank for money. See, I had been married perviously and knew the process...Love you Baby!
Happy Anniversary! Can't wait to hold you...Love, Rick...

rhetoric right wing
shenanigans politic
citizens left out

undo construction
blockade administration
stimey the country

no aid for the poor
tax the poor not the wealthy
not our fault they're poor

control birth control
no women control their bodies
God is on our side

(I could go on forever....but I'm not gonna')

what a love we have
oh when we were young
flowers in your hair
petals dropping all around us
...I remember then

days of squealing laughs
dancing through the forest floor
eyes wide, filled of dreams
our hands were held together
...can you still feel it?

every day, a perfect day
tears of joy are all we cry
our faces, shown so bright
even in the moonlight
...do you remember?

how innocent is our love
good times we always shared
your smiling face held me
I wrapped my arms around you
...I would not let go

so you married me
I carried you away
then came our baby girl
with green eyes and freckles
...seems like yesterday

now our kids are grown
again we're on our own
bright flowers in the yard
drinking in the sunshine
...your eyes still glowing

til the day you died
and you went away
but I am not alone
your memory sits beside me
...how I love you

oh, how I love you...