Juneau Poetry (12)

The rain came down in torrents today
It nearly swept the cars away
The motorists drove as they shook and shuddered
As the old stone bridge got instantly flooded

The thunder clapped
and the lightening flashed
As the poor wet souls to their cars, they dashed
Soaked through in an instant
Hair plastered down
The storm raged on over our wee town

Having my hair cut
Oh what a drag
Maybe I'll just wear a paper bag!

The questions they ask are always the same
"Oh, look outside - it looks like rain"
"Are you going out tonight?"
"How's your hair, is that alright?"
Then mousse, and spritz and hair spray galore
I just can't wait to get out that door!

Away from the chemicals and idol chatter
I know it doesn't really matter
Away from the spray tans and stick-on false nails
It's really not me, and I can't wait to bail

Get out of the door and into fresh air
Away from the drone of pop music blare
Thank God that it's over for another wee while
Hmmmmm....Maybe next time, I'll change my style! :o)

"Why, Jon, why?" his mother asked. "Why is it so hard to be like the rest of the flock,Jon? Why can't you leave low flying to the pelicans, the albatross? Why don't you eat? Jon, you're bone and feathers!"

"I don't mind being bone and feathers, Mum. I just want to know what I can do in the air and what I can't, that's all. I just want to know."

"See here, Jonathan," said his father, not unkindly. "Winter isn't far away. Boats will be few, and the surface fish will be swimming deep. If you must study, then study food, and how to get it. This flying business is all very well, but you can't eat a glide, you know. Don't you forget that the reason you fly is to eat."

Jonathan nodded obediently. For the next few days he tried to behave like the other gulls; he really tried, screeching and fighting with the flock around the piers and fishing boats, diving on scraps of fish and bread. But he couldn't make it work.

It's all so pointless, he thought, deliberately dropping a hard-won anchovy to a hungry old gull chasing him. I could be spending all this time learning to fly! There's so much to learn!

It wasn't long before Jonathan Gull was off by himself again, far out to sea, hungry, happy, learning how to fly.

The subject was speed, and in a week's practise he learned more about speed than the fastest gull alive.

I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plainly marks for my revue
Miss takes I cannot sea.
I've run this poem threw it,
I'm shore your pleased two no
It’s letter-perfect inn it's weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.

My Unforgetable Experience on New Year's Eve 2009/2010

I was on my own on New Year's Eve. It was a beautiful, clear winter's night, so instead of sitting in front of the tv watching everyone else's celebrations, I decided to drive out to a nearby field. I had to thaw the car out for quite a while as it was -6 degrees. As I set off, the road was like a sheet of ice, and the roads were completely deserted.

The field is quite elevated and has a wonderful 360 degree view all around the open countryside. As I got out of the car I was stunned at the brightness and clarity of the blue moon. It was like a giant spotlight, and you could see every detail of it's surface. As I walked through the 6" of crisp white snow and out into the middle of the field, the top layer of snow made a wonderful crunching sound as it cracked under my feet. The moon was so bright that it cast a full shadow of me across the ground. You could have read a newspaper in it's light.

As I stopped and gazed in awe around me, it was completely silent, just the sound of a tawny owl hooting in the woods. Curiously my watch had stopped at 7pm that evening so I had no idea what time it was. All of a sudden I knew it must be midnight as I heard the faint sound of people cheering, and fireworks flying up into the night sky in the distance.

In the clear inky black sky the stars shone brightly, and the constellations were easy to recognise. Just at that moment a flock of geese flew overhead in their typical V formation. I felt so lucky to be standing there, experiencing such beauty and wonderment! It was just then, I noticed a little light travelling across the sky, seemingly having been launched from the top of a small hill. Just after that, another identical light was "launched", and then another and another. I stood and watched as these silent UFO's seemed to drift across the sky in a long line. As I turned around, I was amazed to see the same thing happening from another hill. The lights didn't falter nor did they go out and there was absolutely no sound. By that time, there were 13 of them drifting silently across the night sky all around me, just adding to a wonderful, magical experience that I shall never forget - the dawning of a new year spent underneath the Blue Moon.

"When the lighthouse strikes it light,

it does not measure the storm.

It does not judge the storm.

It does not say to itself,

"I must understand where it is all going."

before it shines its light.

All it knows is that it was built to endure the darkness,

mighty wind and the waves that will crash endlessly over its structure

It's not afraid, either.

It doesn't know when the storm will end,

how powerful it will become,

or the reasoning behind its creation.

All the lighthouse knows is that it's safe,

and that it must shine a light in the darkness to help others

find the safety of the harbour.

It never questions how it became light either,

but it knows who it is,

and what it's for.

It also knows that the light it carries is expected

and those in the dark are looking for it."

A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, 'The one I feed the most'.

For passengers who're waiting,
For the 8-13 to Paignton,
This service is reported running late.
In fact the truth behind it
Is we simply can not find it,
So we ask you to be patient please and wait
Upon the platform,
Until my colleague fills out that form,
That we use whenever we mislay a train;
Though we usually find them hiding,
Down some sleepy little siding,
There's some are lost and never seen again.
Now, You might not imagine
That, twelve coaches and an engine,
Can disappear completely from the line;
Well, perhaps the odd occasion,
But it truly is amazing,
'cos in fact, it seems to happen all the time.
But our customers are stoic,
Play the martyr,
Act heroic,
They'll never be the ones to lay the fault,
'cos experience has taught 'em,
That each and every autumn,
One leaf can bring the network to a halt.
And then in dark December,
(It's tradition now, remember),
We turn off all the heat until July.
Then at the height of summer,
(And this really is a bummer),
We turn it on and let the buggers fry.
Will passengers, who're waiting,
On platform one for Paignton,
Please make their way across to platform nine;
It's not that there's a train there
(But)
You'll be standing in the rain there,
And the half-mile walk will help you pass the time

I had 12 bottles of Te Bheag in my cellar and my wife told me to pour each and every one down the sink, or else!....

I said I would, and proceeded with the task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the third bottle and poured the Te Bheag down the sink which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink, and poured the Te Bheag down the glass which I drank. Then I pulled the bottle from the cork and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I corked the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour. Then I had everything emptied. I steadied the house with one hand and counted the glasses, corks and bottles with the other, which were 29, and as the house came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I am not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I am not half so thunk as you might drink I fool so feelish. I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.

I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another.

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."

No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted