I learned at CS

Retrospect after being on CS for a Month...
I guess i've learned more about my self in four short weeks than I could have ever imagined in the rest of this lifetime.

1. I guess with my stupid, crazy sense of humor all the time, . . . .maybe that's why I lost three Past LTR's, . .
just maybe, My ladies didn't take me seriously, . . .when I kinda repeatedly told them there might be ONE LITTLE THING that they were doing that was kinda gettin on my nerves, . . .
, . .so maybe it wasn't there fault, . . . . . and maybe I should have been a Lot more Serious, . . with them from the beginnings???????, . . .I'm not sure, . . .


2. and Oh Boy, . . .did I just learn the Hard way, . . . . i thought it might be kinda cool to just play a quick little game of "To tell the Truth", . . . and it just kinda got real painful, real quick, . . .
I Realized,. . that everybody, ..yeah, . . everybody will build a few walls to protect their, (for lack of a better word) heart from Reality, . . . .the outside current world, Kinda like (clear and PRESENT Danger), . . .
but I just came to a quick Realiation that we build, bigger, thicker, and more Formidable walls to kinda Protect us from something worse, . . . . . . (PAST MEMORIES)


3. What kinda triggered it for me, . . was the faces and expressions of past Ladies that I had Deeply Loved, . . .with a lot of Tears, swollen red eyes, running nose, . . . redish faces, . . . .
And the way I felt at those specific times, . . . . My kinda Natural, and Basic Instinct, my entire life was always to protect those little ladies with my life , . . if neccessary, . . . . and to see them in pain just about killed me, . . .and kinda to know the fact, that i caused it, . . . . . was litterally Excruciating


Upon seeing their little painful faces, my immediate reaction was to reach out and Hold them, . . . . .and whew, . . .when women are like that, It's kinda like a little wounded animal in pain, . . .I kinda learned Real Fast, . . . not to get within scratchin distance, , . . . I got a real Fast lesson, . . .


If I remember and got more time later, . . I want to mention what I learned from a comment by jade and also some very intersting moon logic, . . . .to be continued, . . . . .


Another Crazy memory, maybe funny, maybe Not, . . . i'm not quite sure


was the last time I went on line to find a young lady about four years ago, . . . .
Well, ( knowing me), . . .I usually "think out of the Box, kinda" at times, . . .so I kinda made my own rules, . . .and i blogged on a certain online site for about a month, . . .and when the time felt right, I posted a Notice, to anyone who might be listening, and/or reading me, . . .
I kinda said I will be at barnes and noble book store having a cup of coffee from 6; pm untill 7pm, . . .these next two Sundays, . . . .if anyone cares to meet me, . . or even see me, . . . . you are welcome to just show up, . . and i will buy you each a cup of coffee, . . . .to be continued


ok, . . .Another quick, fleeting thought
I guess, . . . I might have asked, a young lady the Question like, "What was the WORST, Thing, . . that has ever happened, . . in your entire life? . . "


I guess, have expected one and Only answer to be "The day that my last, long term Relationship Broke Up."
And, I thought to myself, . . .I am going to make a point of getting to know, . . this Special young lady, . . and Maybe, . .just maybe, . . . . things might work out.


And then again, . . .I thought to myself, picturing just that things do work out, and I would ask her the (antonym or kinda opposite) of the question, I had asked when we first met.


{Now, that we are together,} what is the BEST, Thing, . . . . that ever happened, . . . in your entire Life?


And I am kinda hoping the answer will be, . . . "The Day my last, long term Relationship broke up"