Rejection Can Often Lead to Happiness

Nothing could beat hanging out with a bunch of friends on the beach, right? Well, this story is proof that it's not what you're doing, but who you're with. Perhaps if my blind double-date had featured a different girl – not one with such high standards – that night and the next few years of my life would have turned out differently.

To protect the innocent – and guilty – I will use fictitious names. Brad and Tracy were 'the other couple' – you know, the one that hits it off right away. They're both very good looking so this makes things easy. My date – Rachel – was even better looking than Tracy, and that might have been part of the problem. She was a true surfer girl – short blonde hair, blue eyes, and a perfect female athletic figure. When she showed up that summer night wearing short shorts and a bikini top, I had a difficult time catching my breath. Her first glance in my direction was a friendly one, but I couldn't tell if it was anything more. Once any form of doubt creeps into my mind as far as females are concerned, it's extremely difficult to reverse doubt's course. It grows in my brain like an unstoppable blob until every inch is covered in doubt. I begin reminding myself of all the reasons I'm not good enough instead of focusing on my good qualities.

It didn't take long for Brad and Tracy to go for a private walk along the beach, leaving myself and Rachel in a force-field of awkwardness. This force-field was inescapable; it followed us no matter where we went. First we tried the playground near the parking lot, then we walked toward the water, and our third and final attempt at alone-time was on a bunch of rocks where couples were known to make-out. Our visit to the playground consisted of me asking questions about where she went to college, if she had any siblings, and what her future plans were – all the most boring and unattractive questions you could possibly ask on a date. When we walked to the water, we stood relatively close to one another. That being the case, I let my right hand dangle at my side, hoping she would reach for it. Looking back on this and now knowing that women want a man that has the guts to take charge, I regret my inaction. This might have been the key turning point of the night. When we stood at the edge of the water, I didn't know what else to say. And she had no interest in speaking. So, I picked up rocks and began skimming them on the water. After watching a rock skim the water three times, I would simply say, "Three!" When the next rock skimmed the water 5 times, I would shout, "Five!" with even more excitement. Pathetic, isn't it? I can only hope whoever reads this has had similar experiences. We headed for the rocks in a natural manner. In other words, neither of us suggested heading in that direction. It seemed as though fate was leading us toward those kissing rocks, and despite the lack of conversation, I was beginning to get excited about my potential for a kiss with one of the most gorgeous girls I had ever seen. We sat on the rocks next to one another and looked out over the water. Little did I know, she was looking at it as a way to pass the time until Brad and Tracy returned. I, on the other hand, had better ideas. After forcing myself to gather up an enormous amount of courage, and without saying a word, I leaned over and placed my mouth on hers, but her lips felt more like cold and locked steel gates than soft and moist lips offering an invitation. The palm of her hand met my face in an instant, forcing my head backward and causing my curious tongue to detach from her lips. She laughed at me as if my pants had fallen down in front of a large crowd and said she was going to go wait for Tracy on the beach. I remained on the rocks, and for quick second, contemplated drowning myself.

What made this incident so important in my life is that I couldn't get up the guts to kiss a girl for the next two years. If I ever kissed a girl in that time frame – which only totaled two instances – it was because she kissed me first. My fear of rejection had reached extreme levels and my confidence in approaching females had disappeared. Fortunately, this led to a chain of events that led me to where I am now. To take out my frustration and anger after two years of fear and lack of intimate relationships, I decided to start lifting weights. This didn't only lead to strength gains, but a physique change, and a lot more confidence. Most importantly, it led to a fateful day when I walked into a bookstore and laid my eyes on the most beautiful woman working behind the cash register. As far as looks are concerned, she was light-years ahead of me. But, for some reason, it didn't matter - she had some form of magnetic pull on me. Originally, I left the bookstore due to intimidation. But I told myself that if I didn't approach her now, I might never have another opportunity to meet her. I walked back in the store and began a friendly conversation. I made it obvious that I was interested and left my phone number. She called one week later. That was 15 years ago. She is currently my wife and we have a 2-year-old son. I'm extremely happy with the way things have worked out. If I had never been rejected by Rachel that night on the beach, I probably would have never met my wife. It just proves that rejection can be a good thing. It's certainly a character-builder.