In my million dreams, I never dreamt to be in this place. I had to be confined in a place where, nothing could quenched my thirst.
Yeah, I was so thirsty that I could not be relieved with any beverage. All I needed was alcoholic drinks.
I was a hard drinkers for two years, anytime of the day, I got drunk looked for a fight.
I could still remember at about 8:00 am of July 12, 2005, I was lying on our couch with my youngest son, when my cellphone was beeping , messages notification. I did not mind as I was sleepy from a night work, and thought it was not that important, otherwise it was a call. Then it rang, I picked it. It was a police calling on the other line, telling me my husband got accident and they brought him to a nearest hospital. When he mentioned the hospital, thought my husband was not that serious as it is, a small hospital with no facilities, good only for first aid. But hurriedly i went. I dropped by at my office to take some medicines with the thought my husband would need it, and my sister was so hysterical , as she also received a phone call from the police station. I supposed drove a van but she said it would be safe to have a PUV as I had no sleep yet. While we were riding in a bus I was praying the Lord's Prayer. And the phrase, THY KINGDOM COME THY WILL BE DONE was so emphasizing. When we reached the said hospital, there were lots of people there, including my husband's relatives and our friends. I saw a man sitting near the entrance of the hospital, he was with my husband riding in that motorcycle. I asked what happened. He just stared at me. One of our closest friend, told me.."Gie be strong, look at the sky and ask Him for strenght." I replied , what are you talking about?, I don't like your joke"". I went directed to the Emergency Room, with the thought my husband would still be there. But a nurse stopped me. I was almost mad, when the doctor came out,, and told me, "Mrs. be strong, I am sorry, but he is gone". I felt I was so writhe . The place of accident was deserted and none came to help. The driver who side swiped run, did not helped them.
It was the hardest time of my life. Thought it was the end of the world for me. How unfair the world was. The next month was supposed he scheduled to return to work as a sailor and supposed it was his last contract , and will no longer work overseas, as we talked that things was quite difficult for me managing a 3 chained business, so we supposed concentrate on our business and be together, and thought of having time for each other.
Since then, I turned to alcohol, which I never tasted since I was small. I wanted to feel strong with alcohol. I let my husband's remain in our house for 3 months, which most people, thought, I was out of my mind. But the fact that, I could not accept that he is gone. He might caused a lot of stressed in me as a good looking man attractive to women, a chain smoker, and hanged out with neighbors with drinking sessions. But he was responsible husband , never forgot to tell me am beautiful, never forgot to have that compliment everyday....he cooked for me whenever he's home and the love he had for me as his wife and his children and a lot more...
Since then, i became, a person that would easily bite. I decided to be away for a while, took a break. I left my business with my sister, as I was worst, I could not understand the mistakes of my employees.
I went away, got associated with people, enjoyed what they did . Like gambling and night life....that happened in two years. Just to realized I got but little cash in bank, my cheque started to bounced back. Bottom line...I went stray...totally lost.
My two feet brought me in a BIG Jail ..
The first year, I could not be here. This is a real Jail for me,no alcohol, no beer houses, no gambling , cockfighting...
But turning around, looking at people around me, thought,if they were able to stay..I could do as well. 11 years of being here is an accomplishment .
ayoneq Blog (25)
though I trust HIM ,
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