Firstly, how attractive do you find people with no profile pic and (b) what does the absence of a profile pic indicate?
*Yes I am aware of the numbering.
How do we hold onto our humanity in an age of fast opinions? With great difficulty is my reasoned opinion. With the overflow of information our decisions about any views inspires contrarian opinions for the sake of cheap thrills and notoriety. It doesn't matter whether the contrarian opinion is bad or not. It's the speed of the reply that matters.
Kind words are often shredded in the mill of indifference and self-indulgence. Simple gestures are wilfully misconstrued as monumental gaffes. How do we keep our humanity?
How important is beauty? If it is then the further question should be: what defines beauty? If we come to a reasonable definition then we should ask: who defines beauty?
For me beauty is framed by the following:
* Caring disposition. Not in a self serving way but the kind of person that steps outside of their own familiar framework to touch the heart of another.
* Gentleness. The kind that does not indicate the absence of strength but rather an abundance of it kept in abeyance.
* Synchronicity. Where moments shared speaks to the core of what matters.
So, I wonder... do aesthetics matter? If so the question should be asked: is it based on symmetry, familiarity or intrinsically?
It's incredible that as a species we have not unpacked one of the most basic elements of human interaction. The inane and yet incredibly significant question: When do we know that a relationship is over?
This question could apply to many different types of relationships namely business, friendships and more to my point, romantic ones. I find it curious that the intellect arrives at a conclusion much earlier than the heart. The heart, however, has an intelligence all of its own and will have none of it.
The perennial stop starts of relationships can be destructive and strips away at the simplicity inherent to loving. I will suggest that the following points (not exhaustive) are strong indicators that a relationship is over and that an intervention akin to America's introduction to world war 2 is required:
* The level of discourse has reached monosyllabic responses
* Apathy sets in around the things that distresses one or both of the romantic partners
* Greater emotional comfort can be found outside of the relationship than within it
* A lowering of courtesy in engagement
* Self-centred focus of needs
* A lack of delight in the achievements by one or both of the romantic partners
* Where persons outside of the relationship knows more about the feelings of one of the partners than the partner
Isolated incidences of one or more of the above factors should not be construed as evidence of a terminally ill relationship. Collectively, however, the writing is on the proverbial wall.
One of my favourite poems (sadly not written by me and whose author escapes me) goes:
"O Lord
Of second chances
And new beginnings
Here I am again"
Apart from the gift of life, the ability to start afresh has to be one of the most beautiful of life's gifts. Sure there will be challenges that seek to dull these marvels but nothing can diminish the absolute magnificence of it.
The greatest enemy to embracing this reality has to be self doubt fostered by the acceptance of the judgement of others.
I choose differently, not necessarily without difficulty, but for today my thought is: "O Lord..."
This is my opinion.
For me there are two deal breakers in a relationship. Violence of whatever nature and infidelity. I'm still confident about violence but I have started reviewing my outlook on infidelity.
Before you start slamming this train of thought, dear reader, hear me out.
I have experienced in my time of single living an inordinate amount of people in committed relationships that were "available" or "open" to other possibilities. This caused to venture down the thought that fidelity as previously contemplated no longer exists. Has there been somewhere along the line a moral shift or has it always been this why and was somewhat less overt?
Consider the idea that a couple have been together for 25 years and 1 of the partners strays. The guilty realises the idiocy of his or her action and truly regrets the mistake. Should a standard of unforgivable be assigned to such a person or is there scope for redemption?
The wise tell us that there are 3 stages of love. Eros (physical love), Filia (brotherly love) and Agape (unconditional love). It strikes me that in modern living that we are obsessed with physical love and the ego attached to such a love that we forego the traditional values of forgiveness and working at achieving something.
This is my opinion.
I have an opinion.
I accept that a blog post is an opportunity to stand on a virtual soapbox and postulate on whatever you attach any significance to at that point in your life.
This is my first attempt at one and I'm going to use this opportunity to speak on a topic that is near to the heart of many listed on this site.
Why is it so difficult to find the right person to love?
Firstly, people look in the wrong places for it. This is not intended as a slight on the good work that platforms like this represents. To prove that this is not my intention I will say that opportunities for love exist at every point that humans interact.All I am saying is let this not be the only place.
Secondly,what are the expectations of people looking for love? Often we are dishonest with what we expect our suitors to look like, earn like, own like, dress like etc. Most advertisements say that we are looking for kind, honest, committed people. If this were the only criteria I will guarantee you that in your village, place of employment or even the closest busstop there are many, many viable candidates. If truth be known we are more base in our desires. Blame it on evolution or survivalist tendencies. Reconsider what it is you really, really want. Chances are you are looking for warmth and acceptance, a place where you can grow emotionally and spiritually. Look through different eyes.
Third, we are still trapped by childhood fantacies of the ideal partner. The blonde bombshell syndrome. Beauty is to be found in many forms. I will go so far as to say that beauty is found in every physical form. It is often only when we perceive what lies beyond the physical that we experience a lack of beauty.
Fourth, we don't believe in our own beauty and worth. Pause for a moment and consider your most attractive qualities. Don't believe the malicious judgements passed on you over the course of your life. You are beautiful. You are beautiful to someone in this universe ... but only when you become beautiful to yourself again.
Fifth, there is no hurry. Enjoy every moment of single living for what it is - an opportunity to know and love yourself. You might never get this opportunity for a very long time again.
Sixth, prepare for your coming love. Prepare the kind of emotional and spiritual home that you will invite that lover into. Chances are that it is not ready yet. When he or she comes will their spiritual and emotional appetite (and s*xual) be satisfied? Prepare for your coming love.
Seventh, always listen to the heart. It never lies. It tells you all the truth you need to know. Is the person kind and good and tender? These are the heart's questions.
This is my opinion.
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