Changes in levels of civility.....

....corresponding to those in a sense of responsibility. Just was at the ex's, checking her vintage vehicle for an upcoming 600 mile trip to visit her family. We are both the oldest of many siblings, and with time parents are leaving us, so we were named estate executors/principal trustees. Sort of an old school decision on parents' part.
So very old school, that in both families, through hard work, they were able to acquire some rental property, to help with retirement, and to pass on to the kids. Some might say white privilege, as well, until they take a look at the realities of large working class families. Neither of us, both health care professionals, who have been in the roughest clinical trenches, the military and so on, could have done the same. Digressing once more.
Even without the family curse of the drink, there tends to be a fair amount of dysfunction in some such nuclear families. And in our honored administrative tasks, we're seeing our share.
Years ago, when many deals were sealed with a handshake, and renters were often friends, and even family, a damage deposit, first and last prepaid month's rent, and a lease, were often the exception in such circumstances. To make this short, in spite of free or low rent, every thoughtless act as tenants seems to come up. Arrears on rent, lots of damage, unannounced midnight moves and leaving things still there, drug sales in the apartment, police visits for same, and much more.
I know more modern and woke landlords are evolving with the sad changes in the times. But all the shenanigans bring anxiety and tears to the 93 YO one remaining great granny parent, Yet no one seems to want to change old ways.
Fairness in helping out is appropriate. But being mindful of the need to let go a little, and to realize our limits, sometimes have their places.