WHY HELP?

The best reason I have for helping someone, when I am able, is quite selfish, actually. It is because it makes me feel useful. No matter how great or small the helping hand, the secret is to give it freely with no strings attached. And reason number two is, I can usually remember what it was like to need some kind of help, and there wasn’t any. And I understood, when you are a husband and a father, you do what you have to do to take care of your family, those are the rules of manhood, and of true love.
A while back a young man and I crossed paths. His mother had very recently passed away and his father and him were not on speaking terms. His parents had long been divorced and he had no close relatives for support, and especially no older men to offer a understanding presence. I then lived on a small seven acre place in a canyon at the base of the Blue mountains, in northeastern Oregon, U.S.A. A small river ran thru it, with a small home, pasture for an old horse and a yard and workshop full of “man-things.” Trucks, tools, and an ancient yellow bull-dozer. I seen him setting alone on a chunk of firewood out in the woodpile. I was about to move the pile over to the woodshed for the winter using the front-end loader on the dozer. I thought for a moment how could I help this young grieving boy in his desperate loneliness? Having raised four sons already, I wasn’t just “fresh off the boat” when it came to working with young men. I knew that bound in the heart of every boy, no matter what his age or circumstances, is a man of adventure. Daring, bold, and wanting to be brave and carefree. What this young man needed, even if it was just for a few minutes, was something to totally divert his attention from all of his problems. And being just a big boy myself, I had an idea. I asked him if he was busy for a moment, and could he give me a hand. He quietly nodded. I asked him if he could drive a dozer. He just looked up at me in unbelief. I told him not to worry, it was easy, he was just the “man” I need for the job. He was still looking rather doubtful. Climb on up there, I said, and take your time. You are in the middle of seven acres, you can’t hurt anything, just don’t fall into the river. I started it up for him, showed him the controls, and then jumped off the dozer. Where are you going, he asked me. Oh I have another job to do, just take your time.
Now I am going to let you in on a “Man-Secret”, every man no matter what age, wants to at least one time in his life, drive a bull-dozer. It’s a “guy-thing”. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as I walked off. He just set there for a moment looking totally over-whelmed. Then all of a sudden he put it in gear and started off slowly. Oh, he made a mess of the wood-pile and the pasture at first, but he got the wood moved. And the most important thing was, he forgot his troubles for an afternoon and had some fun. Most of the time, that is what all of us need, just a little break from our troubles. The magic thing was that learning how to operate that old machine required all of his concentration and attention and by the end of the day, in his little boy heart, he had become a man. I came over to him when he was finished and paid him some cash. Now that is very important, nothing establishes feelings of self-worth like good old cold hard cash. It is amazing what a few dollars in a man’s pocket will do for his outlook on life. “Been there, done that, got the hat.”
Now I want you to stop and think for a moment, who do you think got the most out of this experience? You darn right. I felt good for a week, and I still do every time I tell this story. Oh I know, sometimes helping people will come back to bite you, but that is just one of the risks, and we all know taking risks is just another “guy-thing.”


rowdy-rufus