GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize the cats...

2. When Mom is mad at Dad, don't let Mon brush your hair.

3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4. Never ask your 3-year brother to hold a tomato.

5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food..

6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair...

7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

9. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

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GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2. Wrinkles don't hurt.

3. Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...

5. laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, and not the toy....

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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD


1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional....

2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while your're down there.

4. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...

5. Your'er getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician

7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone...