"cookie cutter" timeline
The dating waiting game when it comes to communication or seeing each other. I find when talking to different people I hear different views to the point to get conflicting viewpoints. You sometimes get confused or maybe you begin to sabotage your chances with someone because you go others ways & not you own.Is there really a ideal timeline when it comes to communication when you first start out with someone whether online or out in the dating world. What works for one may not work for another & every couple is kinda unique in what happens or what works or even how it started.
I was talking with a guy from cs he told me was messaging with a woman they started in january this year they stopped communicating all of a sudden. Then in june they started up again & had their first date & still together.For me a guy messaged me & I didn't respond until almost 2 months. We chatted for almost 5hrs online & went out the next day.
So maybe timing is everything. People say oh I haven't heard from so & so in a couple days does it mean they aren't interested? Maybe or maybe not. It depends I'm starting to see. So if someone doesn't respond right away maybe they could possibly be interested but aren't sure at moment but have you in mind.
With going out on your first date...how long do you wait to communicate...next day?....a week later?....its frustrating at times you wonder if he's interested in you or not? You wait.
If its mutual & both are wondering & playing the waiting game....who responds first? The man or the woman to make first contact post date. Does it matter who? What's too soon? What's too long? Or does it matter? And how long is too long between dates?
Ii know someone who says if you don't hear from him everyday he's not interested in you & stringing you along. And when you don't make your next date before you finish your date he's not interested. Hmmmm??? Really lol!?!
Is there an ideal "cookie cutter" timeline when it comes to dating "norms" or just do what feels right to you? What is normal?
Comments (48)
I like this topic you wrote. I also wondering the same thing but finally I found that it better flow with the wind. If he didn't contact me or message me back maybe he just not that interested to me. If I keep thinking about the connection and the message replied which I not yet received, it will made me frustrate and upset. I choose to be more relax now.
Summer
I see your points in your comment & it does make sense to not rush in & take your time. Some people tend to have a guideline to when things happen & if it doesn't then they wonder.
I rather would like to go with the flow & see what happens. But sometimes your friends unfortunately make comments & offer their "opinion/advice" & then sometimes you begin to self-doubt.
I guess every relationship flow & ebb is different for everyone & I guess there's no "cookie cutter" or "mold" to go by. I'm finding every relationship is unique in their own way.
Btw your comment wasn't boring. And I I guess that's one thing I'll be looking forward when I'm in my 40s lol. I think my 30s are better than my 20s. And thank you for your opinion.
When here on cs I assume if contact stops both are no longer interested. Or if one doesn't respond. That doesn't bother me as we haven't met. We may lose interest or find somebody else.
But when you meet someone face to face in a way its different. I just wanna go with the flow myself & not be bothered with petty things. If he doesn't call when he says he will....blah blah.
I do wonder about these things myself. Yes it would be easier to let it go & not wonder. But sometimes you don't know yourself.
Sometimes I can't help by thinking too much. And I usually go with the flow....but you just sometimes gotta wonder. I sometimes wonder if guys think that way. If he's interested in a woman & wonders if she feels the same way or not.
I do be myself when I'm out with a guy but somtimes my shyness gets in the way. When out with a guy we just usually go with the flow & do whatever.
Thank you & interesting points!
When we do first start out we aren't always honest as in we don't disclose everything all at once. We remain closed off in a way by not being too open. As we are more comfortable theb we reveal more.
When we encounter a moment(s) of indifference doesn't it mean its over or lack of difference....hopefully not. There are two people with different background & such so there could be some things that we don't always agree on.
Is there really a right or wrong way when it comes to a relationship? It seems not relationships are created equal. There is no standard mold for the ideal relationship. We know what we want & don't want & what we won't settle for. What works for one may not work for another.