Well, that was frustrating,
But the lady in the pink skirt was much worse off than I.Nothing happened. Well, not quite nothing. I sat and chattered away with the lady from the X-ray department and ogled a couple of sexy interns who drifted by but my doctor had to scrub for emergency surgery so they sent me home. To go back tomorrow morning at nine.
The lady in the pink skirt was sent home too and given a prescription to calm her as her blood pressure was too high. She had been waiting since ten this morning and was very not happy about it. She didn't feel like chatting. She will be back tomorrow too and we will be like old friends by them
It is strange. I have collected this group of faces and we talk a little more each time. My sister and I both talk to anyone who seems responsive. It makes the waiting less noticeable.
I think my blood pressure is probably up a bit right now too. I am getting pretty good at preparing for things but the 'letdowns', no news, no result, no biopsy are more difficult to come to terms with.
I mean, I got my head around the thought of being stabbed through the chest with a large bore needle - and I am sure that even if they let the local take effect for more than ten seconds before the stab, it is going to hurt a lot more than last time.
Especially now that I know how last time felt!
I have been around long enough to learn that silver linings lurk everywhere.
I just wish sometimes you could see them immediately. For instance, on the way through the car park my sister's skirt blew against a bright yellow post which turned out to be freshly painted with no wet paint sign.
The scent of turpentine is wafting up from downstairs and intensifying my headache so heaven knows what it will do to her asthma.
Actually, yesterday and today are the first time I have really felt that I am not as usual. Apart from the vacationing left side of course. It may just be stress fom last week, but my head feels cloudy on the inside and I have found it difficult to focus the last few days.
Part of the problem is my left hand smacks me about when I am asleep so I keep waking up. I am tired too.
I just read back the opening paragraphs, I still edit out the most egregious typos although I am much more accepting of my fallibility than I was three months ago. , but I seem to have developed this staccato, short sentence style .
No doubt in part because I am typing with one hand, but simple suits me right now. Simple thoughts and statements; simple clothes I can pull on and off without bending back the fingers on my left hand because while the flesh is turned unfeeling the bone of me lives on and can be hurt.
I had not realised that once my muscles relaxed because my brain no longer issues stand up straights and pull youself togethers that my joints would lose a protection I had not known they needed.
They are no longer cherished and supported by my flesh as a matter of course, I broke my toe because I did not notice it was folded out of place. Well toes in the middle of the foot don't fold under the foot. Not usually. I am a little weary of learning all these new skills that I need against tomorrow. But I'll learn them. Write about them when I can.
A how to book, so I know where I have come from, what I used to do - a sort of system restore button so the elements that used to be more familiar than my face and now don't quite fit the picture, are just laid aside, not lost.
I really hope this thing flies tomorrow or I am likely to burn out my adrenal glands and feel as though I am captured in a moment that does not move, just goes 'bong'when you click on it with no task manager in sight. Computer analogies! I must be really tired.
Probably need to reboot!
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