MAUDLIN DAYS

I have been eating meat pies in Australia for almost a month ...and .... clearing out my life , my old life from before ...clearing out my shed of junk and personal encumbrances . Clearing my life of my burdensome possessions all in storage , and putting them out there to be recycled by other people.
My clothes have gone to charity, My junk fetched more than $3000 at my garage sales , the results of my art collection and furniture going to auction are yet to be realised . I took one look at my art collection the other day and began to feel a sort of shame for placing so much value on possessing such things while children go uneducated in the world.
Did you ever clear out your life and feel a release ? Or did it bother you? It bothered me , really bothered me , because I liked my life, nay I loved my life before so much I could never accept it had changed..or ended ... that can happen when a partner dies and children move on as they grow up. My life was full of love and passion , and I missed it. I missed it too much , so all the things that reminded me of it I kept. My active life had moved on , but my stuff remained behind , in a dream as my anchor that it might reconnect with my real self again one day. I always knew deep down it never would .
It took me 5 years to understand that hanging on to this old stuff was and impediment to my forward progression in my emotional life. While part of me remained in a limbo , how could i ever get to where I need to go.
I wanted to wake up ..... i think i am on my way to that ....
So I am beginning to sense a great relief , that I took the step to clear my life out. .... my stuff .....of no use to me at all , except in my sentiments ,,,,, I wondered what else i can do to assuage my sense of loss to turn it into a personal benefit , and a benefit to others , with the outcome of my old life being SOLD off.
To relieve myself of my maudlin days, & to turn my personal tragedy into something worthwhile , I decided to use the funds of my sale to build some more class rooms for the children ..... I want to donate the proceeds of my life clearance to help building schools where they are needed.
Will that be the way to go do you think? Or would I be better off going on a first class cruise round the world for a few months ? Being self indulgent and bored ........
I feel happy now.. I have made that choice , .........
I am happy to move on now .... I will go back to my new /old life in bahrain again and continue building my new memories , for the next phase all to be cleared out again in another time. in the future..... Someone else might take a cruise ......... or they might build some classrooms .....
saskia .....