Do We Really Listen? OR What Were You Thinking?
Let's say a guy named Bob is attracted to a woman named Sue.
He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a good time.
A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves.
They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
Then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Sue, and, without really thinking, she says aloud,
"Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"
There is silence in the car.
To Sue, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself, Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship, maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
Bob is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
Sue thinks, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage?, toward children?, toward a lifetime together?, Am I ready for that level of commitment?, do I truly even know this person?
Bob is thinking, so that means it was, let's see, February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means, whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
Sue thinks he's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, and more commitment, maybe he has sensed it even before I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
Bob is thinking, and I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. Its 30* Celsius, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
Sue is thinking he's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
Bob thinks, they’ll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're going say, the scum balls.
Sue now thinks, maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered schoolgirl romantic fantasy.
Bob is thinking warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their nose.
“Bob”, Sue says aloud.
"What?" says Bob, startled?
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have, Oh, I feel so"
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
"What?" says Bob?
"I'm such a fool," Sue sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. It’silly, and there's no horse."
"There's no horse?" says Bob.
"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Sue says.
"No!" says Bob, (glad to finally know the answer).
"It's just that, It's that I, need some time," Sue says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Bob, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
Comments (48)
wild horses, witches, goblins or a hurricane could keep me from meeting up with you and Mike.
just let me know the day, time and place, and as they say,
I'll be there with rings on fingers and bells on my toes....
it may be a bit embarrassing, so maybe i'll leave the bells at home.
oh and the rings too...
Yahoo, coffee with Mike and Abagail......
hi Abagial
can Z and I meet you 3 for coffee too ?
we could pick up Cat ,Teddy and Jenny on the way and make it a real gathering
sounds like a plan to me.
Ok, consider it a date Simmo.
I am so pleased re yourself and Mike - and I hope you enjoyed your recent trip again in our beautiful country
And good to see you back
No doubt at some stage you will be bought up to date with all the news you may have missed on your sojourn.
Simmo, I got the abbreviated version. I am quite happy about the end result. As I am leaving for Melbourne in a few hours, because I am working there this week... I may fall behind once again.