The Pain of Being in love with someone you can nev

I came across the article and found it interesting so decided to share.

The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With by Paul Hudson

Love is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it’s the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with.

It’s odd how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. But that’s what makes love so beautiful – it’s the closest thing to perfection that exists in the world, the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil, beautiful and ugly.

It’s the closest thing to a flawless whole that man has ever claimed to have been part of.

When we think of love, we think of the happy kind of love, the kind that is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life.

There is, however, another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never and will never have.

It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.

Contrary to popular belief or popular wishful thinking, love doesn’t always end happily. It doesn’t always result in the joining of two people, the fusing of two lives into one.

Sometimes, on rare occasions, it results in the wedging apart of the two who love each other the most. You can love someone with all your soul and never get a chance to be with that person. Even worse, you can know that you love him or her, understanding there is no possibility that the two of you will ever be together.

Some people cannot and will not ever end up together, even if they do love each other. It’s a sad truth, but a truth, nonetheless.

The fact is, love is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories and movies you’ve heard and watched growing up, lied to you. Love is never enough because love is not rational.

You hear that love is irrational all the time, yet you still hear the same people saying that love is enough to keep two people together.

Unfortunately, we live in a world governed by rationality, and while love may be irrational, and we may manage to make it work for some time, the real world always catches up with us and our irrational illusions dissipate into thin air.

Then we are left with reality and reality doesn’t always reason the way lovers do.

Some people don’t work out together. They have habits or beliefs that make it impossible to co-habitate with the person they love. There isn’t a couple out there that loves every little thing about one another.

Sure, they may find certain quirks cute or unique, but they don’t love them; they simply accept them. There are some people who have such habits, tendencies, or thinking patterns that really do make them incompatible with the other person.

The two may love each other fully, because remember, love isn’t rational, yet not be able to live and deal with each other forever. This is why relationships require compromise.

You’re not going to love everything about the person you are with, but you love enough about him or her to live with the things you don’t love. Not all people are willing to, or even able to, compromise. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, regardless of what our emotions tell us.

Compromising, of course, is a choice. You either choose to make it work or you choose not to. I believe this fully. As long as something doesn’t go against your nature, over time you can make it work. But there are still some cases when compromising isn’t enough.

Continued in comments.......
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Comments (34)

How true my dear Shay.

I believe in our weakness and strength, in our joy and sorrow, in light and dark, in bitterness and happiness, somewhere wraps who we are. ... on love. .. very joyful and sad at the same time. ..

Thanks for the read.
Hi Lj,
I enjoyed it too so decided to share. But we must admit- LOVE is beautiful!
Shay.
This also! Remind me of a song called: " If You Can't Be With The One You Love. Love The One You With!"...comfort
Then that maybe impossible too!...moping
When do it end?.... daydream
We already have someone here on the Blogs who is in Love with someone they can never be with...........detective
My angel,
Well I believe love can conquer all but you have to have faith. But as my Bajans say come see me is different from come live with me.
Sometimes living with someone really takes compromise.
How are you my dear?::wave:
Hi Nam,
Yes she is really in love but I hope she finds a way to be happy either with someone else or alone.
We only have one life to live so we must enjoy it.
Hi Bajanwave
i think such a dark love that can but only glow in this life time, may shine through and brighten your next lifetime instead heart wings
Hi Itchy
For those who suffered/endured this dark side of love one could only hope that they would experience that.,
Hi Shay!

There's a lot to read here...

That darker or sadder kind of love did put me through hell and backcrying
Ooohhhhhhhhhh Shay teddybear bouquet

Exactly just what I needed right now.....blues sigh

Thank you Shay and Happy Valentine's to you too! wine
Shay
I'm doing alright! And you?
PS. Sorry! I had left home.
roll eyes...Again!
“A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain.”



heart wings<--love
scold<--rejection
crying<--pain




-Abraham Cowley-
All this has meaning if both persons love each other equally ....
yours looks like a one sided affair
don't waste your tine and emotions over a worthless fellow ...
learn to move ahead in life....
no one is indispensable. ....
Hi Shay,
Happy Valentines day to you too.sad flower
hug wave
Hi CH,

But you made it through! That's what is important!hug You continue to live and you should ENJOY your life! cheering It's the only one you have! Have a great weekend!wave
hi Dream,
Hope it made you think. I thought it was an interesting read so I posted.
Have a wonderful weekend my dear!banana
Hi Lara,
Love is pain sometimes but it is also beautiful and joyous! yay
Hopefully if you experience the pain you must have experienced the happiness too.
Never give up - continue to love and you just may find happiness. Happiness depends on you not another person.banana
Have a great weekend!
Tatami,
comfort hug banana head banger cheering
Hi Nia,
I think it has meaning either way!
I do agree with you people should move on and be happy but everyone has their own pace.
I shared the article as I found it interesting and hope it would help others.
handshake I don't think we met before. Nice to meet you and thanks for reading and stopping by.
Wishing you a great weekend!cheering
Happy Valentine 's day Cat!wave hug cheering
Wishing you a wonderful weekend!
If you cant be with the one you love, then love the one youre with.
Hmm Ian,
For some it may not be that easy.
Have a great weekend!wave
Hi Baj..That was an interesting piece wine
Enjoy your weekendwink bouquet
Hi Raven,
I thought so.
Wishing you a wonderful weekend!hug
It is a choice who we LOVE.

We can like, have a thing or even obsess over someone - before it gets emotionally too deep, people should stop themselves, because all that ever will come out of this is a headache and hurt. I can like someone, but I try not to fall head over heals and see if things could actually work.

Even if you are with someone, love isn't enough. You need to be able to live a life you enjoy and if living circumstances prevent that, love will go away.

Taking someone else into account when there is someone in your life is normal for me, I just think if you have to compromise too much, it won't work. In the start, things have to happen naturally and it should be light and fun - if there is hassle at the start, I don't think it'll work.

That's how it kinda works for me, probably different for each person.

conversing
Hi KN,
The operative word there is try ..but sometimes you can't help who you love.

Compromise is definitely required as you have to really decide if you can live with or without a person.

Sometimes there is no choice but you have to decide how you live your life afterwards.
There are some who wallow in self pity and the pain lingers for along while and some who pick up the peices and move on. It doesn't mean they don't love the person but you do have to learn to accept the things that you can't change and be happy.
Life is really too short..we must enjoy it.cheering

Have a wonderful weekend and I am slightly jealous of your baileys cheesecake. Enjoy!!banana
I try not to fall for someone hard when I don't know if there is any interest from the other side. I did like guys very much, but I know that unreturned love hurts and I don't get myself to hung up there on someone. conversing

Yes, life goes on and there is not point in moping around forever. It'll can be difficult for a while, but kick yourself in the bum and move on.

Thanks Bajanshay, wave have a great weekend and hope you'll get some nice desserts somewhere yourself. bouquet
This is unfortunately very true and think it happens more often than we realize. Some are lucky enough to find someone who can make up for that but sometimes no one can fill that gap. Then you just have to learn to live with it. Happiness is luckily available in lots of ways. So not being able to be with the one you love does not mean your are doomed to a life of misery. wine
Hi Ek,
Totally agree!
Happiness is dependent on you not another person. wave
Hope more people would realize this. I have always believed that a prtner should joy add to your life not stress. If you are happy alone then that person should make your life better not worse. If you are not happy with someone / or not getting joy they need to go! Life is WAYYY too short to be unhappy!
Nice post, very interestingsad flower
It's sad to love someone you can never be with. I never thought I would be in this position. He's 13 years younger which I normally don't like or date younger guys .he lives out of the country. We both don't want to relocate . Yet I have to talk to him every day whether it be on face book or Skype . I can honestly say I fell in love I didn't mean nor did I want it to happen.after several months of chat I'm in love . My heart is going to break but I'm not ready to let him go. I ask myself what am I doing? I just can't help it he's everything I look for in a man .we both know we're going to get hurt one of us is going to eventually start dating leaving the other heart broken. Just thinking of not seeing his face or chatting with him breaks my heart I don't know what to do. Let it run it's course?? I've never been in this position before .how do you stop talking to a man that you love ? How do I slowly pull away I'm in such a confused state because he's all I want in a man.
Hi Pretty,
I thought it was so I posted.handshake
Hi Abby,
My heart goes out to you.comfort It will hurt and you will cry and cry but if you can try to make it work...please try. Sometimes you just need to take a chance...life is too short. You don't want any regrets later in life. If I had the chance I would take it but that is just me.
hug
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by Bajanshay
created Feb 2015
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