How Do You Put Into Words?

How do you put into words something that you have just heard, seen, or felt that shocked you and left your mind numb?

I just came from a camper that was abandoned by the person living in it and what I saw was much worse than I had imagined or had experienced by other scenarios that I have witnessed.

The camper is remotely situated on a long narrow stretch of road in the country with no real path leading to it. As I came upon it, my eyes scanned the surroundings which were appalling in relation to what was yet to be discovered.

A scrappy storage building that looked to be barely held together with vertical broken pieces of wood held the remnants of someone's long forgotten, filthy, thrown about belongings. How sad! I thought to myself, why not just burn it? Not much to see there. Nothing of value any longer.

As I got closer, I saw an open shed that displayed the contents of a sink that was overflowing with miscellaneous pots, pans, dishes, and anything else that had been previously used for cooking or eating and drinking from. I wondered how long had it been there?

There were plastic hangers thrown about in the yard, including a bag of clothes on the ground just under the edge of the camper. Trash was seen everywhere littering the landscape.

I cautiously approached the makeshift door and pulled it open. That's when I couldn't believe what my eyes were showing me. We've all seen messy rooms before, but this was different. It was just plain gross! There was a mattress too long for its frame. The sheet had cigarette burns and the rest of the bed had clothes piled all over it, including a small plastic wastebasket with discarded food and paper trash of every sort in it.

There were empty foam cups and ashes throughout the space. Curtains were barely hanging on the windows leaving them exposed and open. The few places where you could set something down were covered with junk. CD cases, a picture frame, an ashtray filled with butts, empty containers, and more clothes.

The closets were devoid of clothes entirely and held just the dangling hangers. The bathroom was something I wish I could unsee and understand. The entire bathtub was overflowing with trash. Several empty gallon sized milk jugs were across the top of the pile, along with papers and more garbage. The small sink was the only thing anyone could make use of in that space.

The rest of the place looked just as bad. Nothing but more clothes and trash scattered about and piled on the bed in the opposite part of the camper. The refrigerator was covered in rust and I tried to open it, but the door wouldn't release, so I didn't pursue my efforts since the place had no power nor running water.

Yet, despite all of that, someone had just been living in that squalor only a couple of weeks ago. I can't help wonder how a human goes from being a regular attendee at church, then allows drugs to turn them into the animal that they have become.

This person no longer cares about possessions, family, respect, advice, and doesn't have any morals, values, or even a conscience. To me, this is an animal. Intelligence is erased and replaced with irrational desires to feed upon what they used to know in an effort to sustain and obtain the drugs that overpower them. They function only in a selfish, self-preserving way to sustain that habit.

I have personally known some who were like that. It breaks my heart to know of it and to realize that until they make the decision to change, nothing ever will.