Define dating, establish honest commmunication

I think the problem lies in the definition of dating. Not everyone's definition is the same. When you meet someone you should establish honesty and that definition before proceeding further.

Some people think sleeping with those you date is ok! I don't! When your intimate with some one, you made a choice and a commitment. Commitment involves the responsibility of being transparent to your partner and their feelings and emotions.
Sleeping with more than one person is not dating!! At least in my book. It's playing around.

As everyone is looking for the perfect person(perfect for them) then dating should be about meeting several people for coffee, tea, lunch or dinner as a platonic way to get to know them. So is chatting with different people on different dating sites! Then as time gos on and people are added or drop from your dating list then it suppose to be slowly dwindling down to the best choice. Then you make a commitment and then if you decide it's right, you begin the intimacy stage.

I know you all know all this already, but the problem lies in that this definition is not defined and transparency is not established in the beginning. Then it's doomed to fail from the start. I am not talking about real players, this can happen with two good decent people. The communication is not properly established and one person thinks he/she is committed while the other person still thinks they are dating!! So, of course your going to catch them chatting with someone else on another site.

Perfect example; Two people meet and begin chatting and phoning daily sometimes for many hours. One person seas this as a match and commitment while the other is doing the same with another person. Both are so caught up they do not fully communicate what they are doing and both are assuming. Then either the communication is abruptly stopped or one is caught chatting with another on another site. Throw in some sexually charged flirting and you have a perfect mix for disaster just waiting to happen.

What is the problem with telling someone, "your great, I like you allot, but I am not ready to commit yet and I am dating others?" It takes time to know someone and you can't commit until you know them well. It's like buying a machine without the manual. Of course again, it's about the communication, you don't say this to someone after having had an intimate encounters with them. Again, it's the honest communication and the definition of dating that is important, at least to get off to the proper start. Honestly defining dating can match the players with the players and the real daters with the real daters. People need to spell it out "I am committed to you," "I am not sure yet, give me more time, I am dating others." The problem also lies in that most people want to be exclusive without communicating it, that is not realistic and also set's them up for failure.

I know, I know, easier said than done, that's just the way I see it and I can see all failures can be traced down to that lack of honest transparent definition of dating from the beginning.
I think a large percentage of beginning relationships never get off the ground due to poor communication. But, I am just like you all, I am learning all the time and all the above is subject to change, it's the only way to keep growing. That's JMO!!