Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Liked, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Trump's advice to Biden on choosing a VP
Today in The New Yorker;
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Accuses Biden of Dragging out V.P. Search Instead of Picking First Clown Who Says Yes
By Andy Borowitz
August 10, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump ridiculed Joe Biden on Monday for dragging out his search for a running mate instead of “picking the first clown who says yes.”
“Sleepy Joe is wasting time with all this vetting,” Trump told reporters. “Just pick someone who’s totally desperate.”
“Find an elected official who doesn’t have a chance in hell of getting re-elected in his home state,” he said. “He’ll be overjoyed that you saved him from the junk heap.”
Additionally, Trump said, one should choose a Vice-Presidential candidate “who’s so hopeless, he couldn’t get a real job if he tried.”
“The more pathetic he is, the better,” the President said.
Trump noted that choosing a candidate who is “terrified he’ll never work again” has major benefits if one ultimately makes it to the White House.
“He’ll spend the next four years sucking up to you like you wouldn’t believe,” Trump said. “It’s a beautiful thing.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Accuses Biden of Dragging out V.P. Search Instead of Picking First Clown Who Says Yes
By Andy Borowitz
August 10, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump ridiculed Joe Biden on Monday for dragging out his search for a running mate instead of “picking the first clown who says yes.”
“Sleepy Joe is wasting time with all this vetting,” Trump told reporters. “Just pick someone who’s totally desperate.”
“Find an elected official who doesn’t have a chance in hell of getting re-elected in his home state,” he said. “He’ll be overjoyed that you saved him from the junk heap.”
Additionally, Trump said, one should choose a Vice-Presidential candidate “who’s so hopeless, he couldn’t get a real job if he tried.”
“The more pathetic he is, the better,” the President said.
Trump noted that choosing a candidate who is “terrified he’ll never work again” has major benefits if one ultimately makes it to the White House.
“He’ll spend the next four years sucking up to you like you wouldn’t believe,” Trump said. “It’s a beautiful thing.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Hot off the press - Americans Oppose paying a man who refuses to work
Today in The New Yorker;
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Americans Oppose More Payments to Man Who Is Not Working
By Andy Borowitz
August 8, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Americans are vehemently opposed to issuing more government payments to a Kentucky man who has not been working during the coronavirus crisis.
According to reports, the man has been receiving a weekly check amounting to over three thousand dollars for doing nothing, all at taxpayers’ expense.
Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of a watchdog group called Americans Against Waste and Abuse, called the payments to this non-working individual “nothing short of scandalous.”
“If you do the math, he is receiving checks that add up to $174,000 a year,” Dorrinson said. “Under those circumstances, what is his incentive to work?”
Dorrinson said that the payments the man has been receiving should be cut off “immediately” and sent to someone who is providing essential services during the pandemic, like a health-care worker or first responder.
As for the Kentucky man, Dorrinson said, “It’s time for him to stop living off the government and show some personal responsibility.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Americans Oppose More Payments to Man Who Is Not Working
By Andy Borowitz
August 8, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Americans are vehemently opposed to issuing more government payments to a Kentucky man who has not been working during the coronavirus crisis.
According to reports, the man has been receiving a weekly check amounting to over three thousand dollars for doing nothing, all at taxpayers’ expense.
Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of a watchdog group called Americans Against Waste and Abuse, called the payments to this non-working individual “nothing short of scandalous.”
“If you do the math, he is receiving checks that add up to $174,000 a year,” Dorrinson said. “Under those circumstances, what is his incentive to work?”
Dorrinson said that the payments the man has been receiving should be cut off “immediately” and sent to someone who is providing essential services during the pandemic, like a health-care worker or first responder.
As for the Kentucky man, Dorrinson said, “It’s time for him to stop living off the government and show some personal responsibility.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
This one is for you Mic.....and everyone else. 'Melania' lol
After a bit of piano by Jon Babtiste, some words from our 'First Lady' (imitator) relating the Tulsa rally to their love life, her relationship with Ivanka, and the recent book about her,
'Her Art of the Deal'. Enjoy
'Her Art of the Deal'. Enjoy
How to get around an election.
As usual, quick as a bunny, Andy Borowitz pens a comedic satire today,
based on Trump's recent suggestion to delay the election.
Andy just works out the logistics.
Today in The New Yorker;
Certainly, there's a lot less to be thankful for since Trump took office.
However, I'm in no rush to have winter arrive sooner
and I definitely don't want to miss out on the impending election.
I could do without the pumpkin pie though. It's never been a favorite of mine.
based on Trump's recent suggestion to delay the election.
Andy just works out the logistics.
Today in The New Yorker;
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Month of November
By Andy Borowitz
July 31, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump stirred controversy on Friday by signing an executive order that would ban the month of November.
While legal scholars protested that he did not have the right to reduce the number of months in a year from twelve to eleven, Trump argued that “the Constitution doesn’t say anything about how many months you have to have.”
“All of those smart guys like Jefferson and Madison, those beauties, this is something they didn’t think of,” he said. “I got them on the months.”
Trump said that eliminating November from the calendar was “long overdue,” calling it “a rigged month.”
“November is a hoax,” he said. “Some people say it may not even be a real month.”
Responding to a reporter’s question about the future of Thanksgiving, Trump said that “nobody will miss it.”
“Just ask anyone in this country,” he said. “Nobody has anything to be thankful for.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Month of November
By Andy Borowitz
July 31, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump stirred controversy on Friday by signing an executive order that would ban the month of November.
While legal scholars protested that he did not have the right to reduce the number of months in a year from twelve to eleven, Trump argued that “the Constitution doesn’t say anything about how many months you have to have.”
“All of those smart guys like Jefferson and Madison, those beauties, this is something they didn’t think of,” he said. “I got them on the months.”
Trump said that eliminating November from the calendar was “long overdue,” calling it “a rigged month.”
“November is a hoax,” he said. “Some people say it may not even be a real month.”
Responding to a reporter’s question about the future of Thanksgiving, Trump said that “nobody will miss it.”
“Just ask anyone in this country,” he said. “Nobody has anything to be thankful for.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Certainly, there's a lot less to be thankful for since Trump took office.
However, I'm in no rush to have winter arrive sooner
and I definitely don't want to miss out on the impending election.
I could do without the pumpkin pie though. It's never been a favorite of mine.
Picking (Tom) Cotton
This new offering from Andy Borowitz is in relation to a very recent opinion article in The New York Times, where Cotton stated, that slavery was a "necessary evil", that the Union was built upon.
Today in The New Yorker;
Today in The New Yorker;
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Rand Paul Thanks Tom Cotton for Replacing Him as Most Hated Person in Senate
According to Senate insiders, Cotton beat out a daunting field of competitors.
By Andy Borowitz
July 2
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it the “passing of the baton,” Senator Rand Paul on Monday thanked Senator Tom Cotton for replacing him as the most hated person in the United States Senate.
Paul expressed surprise and no small amount of admiration at Cotton’s feat, telling reporters that being ousted from the most-detested perch was “something that, quite frankly, I didn’t see coming.”
“When I started attacking Dr. Fauci, I pretty much thought I had the title sewn up,” Paul said. “What I didn’t count on was that someone like Tom was going to come out of nowhere, saying slavery was necessary.”
According to Senate insiders, Cotton beat out a daunting field of competitors for Senator Paul’s crown, including Mitch McConnell, Susan Collins, and Ted Cruz.
While he praised Cotton’s audacity in snatching the most-loathed mantle, Paul warned that keeping the title for the long haul is another challenge altogether.
“Becoming despised is easy—staying despised is what separates the men from the boys,” Paul said. “Having said that, I firmly believe that Tom Cotton has what it takes.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Rand Paul Thanks Tom Cotton for Replacing Him as Most Hated Person in Senate
According to Senate insiders, Cotton beat out a daunting field of competitors.
By Andy Borowitz
July 2
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it the “passing of the baton,” Senator Rand Paul on Monday thanked Senator Tom Cotton for replacing him as the most hated person in the United States Senate.
Paul expressed surprise and no small amount of admiration at Cotton’s feat, telling reporters that being ousted from the most-detested perch was “something that, quite frankly, I didn’t see coming.”
“When I started attacking Dr. Fauci, I pretty much thought I had the title sewn up,” Paul said. “What I didn’t count on was that someone like Tom was going to come out of nowhere, saying slavery was necessary.”
According to Senate insiders, Cotton beat out a daunting field of competitors for Senator Paul’s crown, including Mitch McConnell, Susan Collins, and Ted Cruz.
While he praised Cotton’s audacity in snatching the most-loathed mantle, Paul warned that keeping the title for the long haul is another challenge altogether.
“Becoming despised is easy—staying despised is what separates the men from the boys,” Paul said. “Having said that, I firmly believe that Tom Cotton has what it takes.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
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