The greatest antidote to depression, loneliness, overindulging, and spending too much on comfort, is someone to love. Unfortunately, you can't just go by the supermarket and pick that up...otherwise, we'd all be in our cars right now, wouldn't we?
ApostopheBoksburg, Gauteng South Africa1,937 posts
Snuggs09: I have mentioned that I lost a lot of weight and wanted to lose more for my 50 year class reunion in April 2010.
On the way home from work yesterday, I stopped at the grocery store for milk and wound up buying more junk then you can imagine. I don’t know why. I just did it. As I put each item in the basket I knew what I was doing, but didn’t care. My kitchen cabinets and freezer are full of things I shouldn’t eat if I want to lose weight. I prided myself on the weight loss because I did it for myself, not for a man, not to be able to wear size 2. I did it to get healthy. I thought it would make me happy.
When I put the bags of food in the car I said to myself, you know you shouldn’t have done this. Why did you do it? And then I said…I don’t care anymore.
I have done this before and after eating only a little bit I threw the rest out or brought it to work for them to enjoy. That isn’t going to happen this time. This is more then falling off the wagon. I feel myself spiraling out of control back to obesity. It’s easier to let myself get fat again then to worry about what not to eat. A very weak minded person.
I’ve lost my discipline and willpower. My diet worked in 2004 when I lost 126 lbs. I gained a few pounds back and started it again but the willpower isn’t the same. In 2004 my last boyfriend hadn’t come into my life yet. I still had money in the bank and my self-esteem. But he took everything and has ruined my life. There’s no other way to say it. We’re supposed to get over boyfriends and girlfriends hurting us. I am letting the memory of this man destroy me again.
I blame everything on my past and the life I’m forced into now. Food has always been my drug of comfort. It’s no different than alcohol or heroin. Can you imagine food driving a person to the depths of despair? Wishing you were dead. Wishing you didn’t have to deal with it anymore.
I’m ashamed that I’m writing this thread. Embarrassed. Probably will disappear. I feel worthless. Only way I’m useful is in my job and I hate that. I truly feel like a failure. I gave birth to a daughter who is very successful in society. She doesn’t have any patience with me for being weak and believe me, it hurts. And truth be told, I don't have patience with myself.
Today is my 67th birthday. It’s shocking isn’t it that a woman my age, who has so much to say in the threads, can’t get a grip on her own life?
I have so many excuses why this happened to me. I’m the queen of excuses. Yesterday it was a confrontation with my boss. The day before it was bad news that my car is almost dead. Three weeks ago I had bronchitis which I’m still not over. Tomorrow it will be something else. How do you people here in the threads handle it all.
I envy SensualVixen for her crazy sense of humor; Robbie for his knowledge; Morgan for her confidence, Dru for her courage to put her past behind her. I appreciate Ambrose for his understanding and fairness and of course Vinny for his support many times. Laura, SweetOwen, Rodolpho, LadyFingers, Mercedes always friendly and with a good attitude. You'd never know if they are also dealing with problems. They just do. There are many others who have befriended me and I hope they don’t feel left out if I didn’t mention their name.
Lagoona22: The greatest antidote to depression, loneliness, overindulging, and spending too much on comfort, is someone to love. Unfortunately, you can't just go by the supermarket and pick that up...otherwise, we'd all be in our cars right now, wouldn't we?
You are absolutely right and that's what I said about loving HIM. When I loved him and believed that he loved me, I was happier than I'd ever been. He took that away from me.
My priority isn't to find a man because I know with the my frame of mind that I'm in that wouldn't be fair to him, but I would like to be with someone who could tolerate my moods every once in awhile until I can believe that he really cares about me. Isn't that what anyone wants, for someone to care about them.
Lagoona22: The greatest antidote to depression, loneliness, overindulging, and spending too much on comfort, is someone to love. Unfortunately, you can't just go by the supermarket and pick that up...otherwise, we'd all be in our cars right now, wouldn't we?
Snuggs09: I have mentioned that I lost a lot of weight and wanted to lose more for my 50 year class reunion in April 2010.
On the way home from work yesterday, I stopped at the grocery store for milk and wound up buying more junk then you can imagine. I don’t know why. I just did it. As I put each item in the basket I knew what I was doing, but didn’t care. My kitchen cabinets and freezer are full of things I shouldn’t eat if I want to lose weight. I prided myself on the weight loss because I did it for myself, not for a man, not to be able to wear size 2. I did it to get healthy. I thought it would make me happy.
When I put the bags of food in the car I said to myself, you know you shouldn’t have done this. Why did you do it? And then I said…I don’t care anymore.
I have done this before and after eating only a little bit I threw the rest out or brought it to work for them to enjoy. That isn’t going to happen this time. This is more then falling off the wagon. I feel myself spiraling out of control back to obesity. It’s easier to let myself get fat again then to worry about what not to eat. A very weak minded person.
I’ve lost my discipline and willpower. My diet worked in 2004 when I lost 126 lbs. I gained a few pounds back and started it again but the willpower isn’t the same. In 2004 my last boyfriend hadn’t come into my life yet. I still had money in the bank and my self-esteem. But he took everything and has ruined my life. There’s no other way to say it. We’re supposed to get over boyfriends and girlfriends hurting us. I am letting the memory of this man destroy me again.
I blame everything on my past and the life I’m forced into now. Food has always been my drug of comfort. It’s no different than alcohol or heroin. Can you imagine food driving a person to the depths of despair? Wishing you were dead. Wishing you didn’t have to deal with it anymore.
I’m ashamed that I’m writing this thread. Embarrassed. Probably will disappear. I feel worthless. Only way I’m useful is in my job and I hate that. I truly feel like a failure. I gave birth to a daughter who is very successful in society. She doesn’t have any patience with me for being weak and believe me, it hurts. And truth be told, I don't have patience with myself.
Today is my 67th birthday. It’s shocking isn’t it that a woman my age, who has so much to say in the threads, can’t get a grip on her own life?
I have so many excuses why this happened to me. I’m the queen of excuses. Yesterday it was a confrontation with my boss. The day before it was bad news that my car is almost dead. Three weeks ago I had bronchitis which I’m still not over. Tomorrow it will be something else. How do you people here in the threads handle it all.
I envy SensualVixen for her crazy sense of humor; Robbie for his knowledge; Morgan for her confidence, Dru for her courage to put her past behind her. I appreciate Ambrose for his understanding and fairness and of course Vinny for his support many times. Laura, SweetOwen, Rodolpho, LadyFingers, Mercedes always friendly and with a good attitude. You'd never know if they are also dealing with problems. They just do. There are many others who have befriended me and I hope they don’t feel left out if I didn’t mention their name.
I just wish I was somebody else.
just wish i could give u a hug, sometimes just a hug says more than words can say
whaaat: just wish i could give u a hug, sometimes just a hug says more than words can say
I got your hug and like all the others I appreciate it.
You're right, sometimes a hug, a kind thought, just a smile and even Amrose effin himself all over the place put me in a different fram of mind.....a good one
Thank you for the hug. I always reciprocate when someone gives me something..... for you
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You wouldn't believe that this 'ol coot still has fire in her.
Yee gaads, what am I saying
Careful, Snuggs! Let's not get all-fired up and enthusiastic about stuff now! What would people say??