When To Hold Them Or When To Fold Them.. ( Archived) (37)

Look, long distance or not, regarless if you're male or female. After a little time, we are going to find out that whoever we're forming a relationship with is not going to measure up to our expectations. That's just the facts of life. Girls fart too. Men pretend to listen when they're watching T.V. Women take too long to get ready. Men won't ask for directions. Whatever!

This is where we learn to appreciate this important word called "commitment". Because if we are really honest with ourselves, I mean really, then we will realize that WE don't even live up to our own expectations. The people that tell you they do, don't truely, they only change what the expectations are. There is a word for that too, it's called "wishy-washy". So then the real question becomes, is this a person that I want to make a commitment to? Do I want to commit to giving myself to this particular person?

When we meet a man or a woman, to whom we desire to continue giving to, and doing for, EVEN THOUGH their farts really stink, EVEN THOUGH they interrupt us when we want to discuss something important, EVEN THOUGH they'll wash the laundry, but won't fold it or put it away. When we give and do, not for our own sake, but for the sake of the other. Then we have learned the word commitment. Then we have learned what love is all about. Then people have actual value, and are no longer investments in our own so called "happiness".

The fact you are asking this question probably means you have the answer already. I have spent alot of time and a bit of money on meeting krista but never once have I ever questioned any of it. I"m not trying to put it in your face I'm just saying if its the real thing you will know its worth everything. And its a good idea to not meet someone to soon try to get to know them as much as posible.

That's true...get to know them well first...

Nobody will be perfect and fill all expectations.. But with a little bit of tolerance, understanding, and a blind eye about things that aren't the end of the world.. Most will have a happy life if everything else fits..

Okay sure, but when would you turn tail and run?

I’m finding out right now a long distance relationship
has it’s fair share of things to overcome just like any
other relationship…for one, you cant see that person
so you loses some expression when you talk…

does that mean you should run over what very well be
just a misunderstanding?

It’s also VERY hard when the other person is going thro
Something and you want so bad to hold them and let them
Know it’s going to be fine. (makes you feel powerless)

And if that’s not bad enough you are dealing with someone
You don’t really know, sure you get to learn a lot about that
Person from the inside but you don’t get a chance to learn
Much about what’s on the outside, like all the little things about
Them, (do they do things you can or cant deal with in everyday
Life)?

And all of this is just the very tip of it, sometimes when your mind
It telling you something your heart don’t want to hear you have to
Tell yourself, if and when we get thro all of this it has the potential
To be the most solid relationship you have ever been in, it forces
You to talk about thing that we sometimes think need to be
“Unspoken rules” that init self can be worth a lot.
Bottom line is
If you invest a lot of time and some cash, and you feel a need to
Part, do it…but make sure it is for the right reasons and not because
You cant handle the pressure of not seeing that person anytime you
Want to…

I think it’s also important to know if you do go for a long distance
Relationship both parties should be ok with moving not just one
Of them, to do what’s best for everyone involved.

Fear of the unknown stops a lot of us in our tracks and if I let it
Stop me I would have never met Melissa and if she told me
Tonight or 20 years from now that it was not going to work for her,
I would have no Regrets

I agree with windrider that what you have said Lionhearted could happen any time and i hve been in situations where i have spent years with a person and thought i knew them inside out and took my time with the courting and the dating,e.g. five years before i moved in and another two before i got engaged .......lol still only to find out that in the end we thought differently so it is not just long distance relationships this happens in...........it is life and i say go out there and grab it by the scruff of the neck and enjoy every moment of it even if you are let down cos as i said you will learn something from it and i am sure you have learned already that investment is a two way thing and if one sided then another reason to let it go and move on ...................just me little ole opinion!!

Magsy xxx

The end justifies the means....either way...

Great Post!


That sounds great magsy!

You've already built a foundation of friendship. Maybe that is one advantage of meeting long distance. You really have no choice but to communicate and can get to know each other quite well. If you find yourselves always keeping in touch then there must be a fondness between the two of you that surely is going to be there when you meet.

Glad to hear it and best wishes to you!

I would never bother with a long distance relationship to begin with because I will NEVER relocate and would not expect anyone to make that sacrifice for me.

In my age group we tend to own our own homes. Many of those homes are paid for. Picking up and leaving on the chance that things may work out with a new person is too much of a chance to take.