Forgive & forget? (99)
JoyfullspiritBenton Harbor, Michigan USA2 Threads 74 PostsBetter in time 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmUJGENbsAo
------ This thread is Archived ------
Wow this forum thread got me thinking and remembering about so many of life's questions, hurdles, what- have -you. Once while getting a patient's meds ready , I had said to a co-worker "What's up with some guys? They just can't say, I beg your pardon, I was mistaken". The patient's family, an older woman, gently touched my shoulder, and said, "It isn't just men, dear. Everyone. It's a human failing". You know, it really is. Why DO we have such a hard time apologizing? Is there some ultra weak point we are afraid of breaking down? Is it really that difficult to take the low road, be the big guy? There's another quote, from Poor Richard's Almanac, that I like (actually there's lots!)
"Be kind and friendly to your neighbor. But don't tear down your hedge".
"Be kind and friendly to your neighbor. But don't tear down your hedge".
------ This thread is Archived ------
"Be kind and friendly to your neighbor. But don't tear down your hedge".
------ This thread is Archived ------
Joyfullspirit: Okay - I understand the forgive part, but where does the 'forget' come from? According to what little I've learned about how the human brain works,it is neurologically impossible to simply forget at will, and yet these two terms are linked together as if synonymous. Even if it were possible to forget an offense would it really be wise to do so? Does the fact that I still remember mean I haven't truly forgiven?
It is impossible to actually choose to forget something...especially if it's had an emotional impact on us...it seems to reinforce the memory.
But we can control what we do with the memory...how we let it effect our life and that of the person we have chosen to forgive.
I think the term forgive and forget simply means that if we truely forgive someone, you act as though it never happened...you don't take the act into consideration when making decisions and it certainly isn't brought up to punish when you're angry.
If you have difficulty in acting like it never happened then I don't believe you have truely forgiven and in some cases maybe that's not a bad thing.
------ This thread is Archived ------
I believe the "forgive and forget" is truly a platitude that people tell themselves so they don't have to face the ugly truth.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Nuliiiiiii: "Be kind and friendly to your neighbor. But don't tear down your hedge".
P I can forgive .... Can you ?
x T xsad_flower:
------ This thread is Archived ------
some things will never be forgotten yes i agree but i think that phrase means to let go of it dont harber bad feelings like anger and hatred let them go and it will be easier to forgive good luck to you.
------ This thread is Archived ------
I seem to be in the minority. If someone wrongs me,I'm not forgiving or forgetting. I treat others as I myself wish to be treated.
------ This thread is Archived ------
I forgive a lot, but have a great memory, remember fool me once shame on you, fool me twice . . . .
So I better don't forget
So I better don't forget
------ This thread is Archived ------
I forgive a lot, but have a great memory, remember fool me once shame on you, fool me twice . . . .
So I better don't forget
So I better don't forget
------ This thread is Archived ------
I believe you can never truly forget something that someone has done to you or something that's happened to you.But you start fresh and not let it trouble you.We should forgive but we will never forget.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Forgiving is choosing not to be angry about it anymore. Forgetting is choosing not to bring it up as a point of contention in the future. It would be irresponsible to truly 'erase' things from our minds. We learn about setting healthy boundaries and not being doormats by the mistakes that happen to us in our lives.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Just my thought about this, forget is something that as human nature who everybody have just the different are, do you forget coz of accidental or not, just back to our self, if you forget coz of deliberate or not?. if not that is call human nature.
And about forgive that seem easy thing but hard to do, coz not every body easy to give a forgiveness. But if we can give it that is more wise thing, and could be can give you more easy feel of release if you do one your hard thing to do of forgiveness.
that is just my thought
And about forgive that seem easy thing but hard to do, coz not every body easy to give a forgiveness. But if we can give it that is more wise thing, and could be can give you more easy feel of release if you do one your hard thing to do of forgiveness.
that is just my thought
------ This thread is Archived ------
gabrielle95: I have a completely different way to react than most of you.
It is easier for me to forget than to forgive. I have a very bad memory since always, and it's not getting better with age.
When somebody hurts me badly, usually I forget what happened exactly, I only remember I don't like this person any more.
People I loved that have been cheating or have hurt me, become invisible to me. I don't hate them or pity them, I just don't care at all about them.
Sometimes it takes quite a long time to get rid of the pain, much longer than to forget the reason of the pain.
It is easier for me to forget than to forgive. I have a very bad memory since always, and it's not getting better with age.
When somebody hurts me badly, usually I forget what happened exactly, I only remember I don't like this person any more.
People I loved that have been cheating or have hurt me, become invisible to me. I don't hate them or pity them, I just don't care at all about them.
Sometimes it takes quite a long time to get rid of the pain, much longer than to forget the reason of the pain.
I'm like this to a large extent, and also try not to hold grudges, as the only person that suffers is me, so it's not really about forgiveness for me, as we all hurt others and get hurt by others throughout our lives, whether intentionally or not
------ This thread is Archived ------
pyr1mid: I'm like this to a large extent, and also try not to hold grudges, as the only person that suffers is me, so it's not really about forgiveness for me, as we all hurt others and get hurt by others throughout our lives, whether intentionally or not
Sometimes it takes quite a long time to get rid of the pain, much longer than to forget the reason of the pain.
the only person that suffers is me, so it's not really about forgiveness,
Hey Joyfullspirit
Pain is is the hardness to cross, and conquer, but you will, but i do think what ever situation you are around you may need this mechainism in your soul for your survival, your a very cool person.
easy words i suppose for me to say, .. but you will. ------ This thread is Archived ------
Joyfullspirit: Okay - I understand the forgive part, but where does the 'forget' come from? According to what little I've learned about how the human brain works,it is neurologically impossible to simply forget at will, and yet these two terms are linked together as if synonymous. Even if it were possible to forget an offense would it really be wise to do so? Does the fact that I still remember mean I haven't truly forgiven?
Yes; thats why cheating is so destructive; you can forgive but you can't possibly forget.
If someone cheats on me its over end of story.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Big_John: I believe the "forgive and forget" is truly a platitude that people tell themselves so they don't have to face the ugly truth.
what is that ugly truth, John?------ This thread is Archived ------
There are people that never forget which means they never forgive. You can't have one without the other. If you think you can, then you're just deceiving yourself. Forgiveness is supposed to wipe the slate clean, and not holding the "trespass" against the perpetrator, so please don't deceive yourself.
You can remember the hurt and even what said person did, but the difference is that you remember it without the anger and bitterness that it can cause. If you can't do that, then you never truly forgave. If you say you forgive someone's actions that hurt you, and then throw it back in their face at a later date, that's not forgiveness. Better to not even say it.
I'm not saying that there are things that you just can't forget without the negative emotions. I'm saying better to not say you forgive when you really haven't.
We should all know that anger, bitterness, hatred, etc, causes stress and damage to our mind, emotions and physical body, while it has little to no effect on the one that "hurt", etc, us. Am I able to "forgive and forget?". Yes, in some cases, but not all. It would be healthier for me to do so, but just like some of you, I'm not perfect.
This post is only valid in a "perfect world".
You can remember the hurt and even what said person did, but the difference is that you remember it without the anger and bitterness that it can cause. If you can't do that, then you never truly forgave. If you say you forgive someone's actions that hurt you, and then throw it back in their face at a later date, that's not forgiveness. Better to not even say it.
I'm not saying that there are things that you just can't forget without the negative emotions. I'm saying better to not say you forgive when you really haven't.
We should all know that anger, bitterness, hatred, etc, causes stress and damage to our mind, emotions and physical body, while it has little to no effect on the one that "hurt", etc, us. Am I able to "forgive and forget?". Yes, in some cases, but not all. It would be healthier for me to do so, but just like some of you, I'm not perfect.
This post is only valid in a "perfect world".
------ This thread is Archived ------
Forgiving can make one's self better, but trying to forget is a mental torture,just depending on what you'r forgiving or trying to forget, but at this time an old adage comes to mind... Time is a great healer
Waz
Waz
------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
1830's Music
Icebergs Still Around
Don Shits-In-Pants!!!
everything is changing
How far is too far?
Nature
rarotonga
Reality Check
Salami, Salami, Baloney
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).