Forgive & forget? (99)
bodleingGreater Manchester, England UK238 Threads 8 Polls 13,810 PostsI think forgive and put behind you is more realistic.
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Joyfullspirit: Okay - I understand the forgive part, but where does the 'forget' come from? According to what little I've learned about how the human brain works,it is neurologically impossible to simply forget at will, and yet these two terms are linked together as if synonymous. Even if it were possible to forget an offense would it really be wise to do so? Does the fact that I still remember mean I haven't truly forgiven?
Lent me money.... and I will forget and forgive ....
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bodleing: I think forgive and put behind you is more realistic.
agree, but don't forget the lessons learned from it.They are your protection for the future.
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RDM59: agree, but don't forget the lessons learned from it.
They are your protection for the future.
They are your protection for the future.
RDM,most of your posts are tongue in cheeky humour but now and then I see the more sensative and deeper side of you in some things you post.....hmmm interesting.
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i forget most everything regardless if i want to or not .
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To earthangel & sweetlyscented-
Thank you both for your kind words/advice. I would like to say no, I'm not going through anything right now, but I must be - or I wouldn't be posting this here, eh?
It's been a very long time since it ended, I've taken time to heal and to forgive, and to cry and heal. I'm ready to move on. What makes it so difficult is that he is not. I change my number so he can't call and he's knocking on the door. He accuses me of being unforgiving because I won't give him "another chance" and I say I don't care what he thinks, but . . . obviously, I do. I just want it to end in peace. Is that not possible with men or what?!?
Thank you both for your kind words/advice. I would like to say no, I'm not going through anything right now, but I must be - or I wouldn't be posting this here, eh?
It's been a very long time since it ended, I've taken time to heal and to forgive, and to cry and heal. I'm ready to move on. What makes it so difficult is that he is not. I change my number so he can't call and he's knocking on the door. He accuses me of being unforgiving because I won't give him "another chance" and I say I don't care what he thinks, but . . . obviously, I do. I just want it to end in peace. Is that not possible with men or what?!?
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Thanks for the positive spin.
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RDM59: agree, but don't forget the lessons learned from it.
They are your protection for the future.
They are your protection for the future.
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I won't forgive and I will hate you forever. Probably never ever forget either. I don't care what the intelligent books tell you to do.
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Joyfullspirit: Um . . . you're kidding, right?
Everyone thinks we should forgive and sooner or later we will forgive. Bull Sh**!!! Why... Just because others think we should. I don't think so. You screw me and I will hate you forever and it won't bother me at all to do so.
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Big_John: Everyone thinks we should forgive and sooner or later we will forgive. Bull Sh**!!! Why... Just because others think we should. I don't think so. You screw me and I will hate you forever and it won't bother me at all to do so.
Wow - can I borrow just a little bit of your attitude?
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See my blog :)
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Joyfullspirit: Wow - can I borrow just a little bit of your attitude?
It is all yours.... If anything I am a truthful man. Nothing more or nothing less.
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The idea, perhaps, is that forgiveness something you do to get over the initial problem, and 'forgetting' is something you do to prevent your perhaps still-lingering emotions from affecting your future responses.
Just sayin'.
Just sayin'.
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A lot of people assume you are supposed to forgive them no matter what. Sort of like, "Hey I did what I did, get over it!".
I was told when you do the wrong thing there are specific steps you take to ask forgiveness.
1. Admit wrongdoing.
2. Apologize.
3. Try to correct the wrong you did.
I was told when you do the wrong thing there are specific steps you take to ask forgiveness.
1. Admit wrongdoing.
2. Apologize.
3. Try to correct the wrong you did.
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katt1017: A lot of people assume you are supposed to forgive them no matter what. Sort of like, "Hey I did what I did, get over it!".
I was told when you do the wrong thing there are specific steps you take to ask forgiveness.
1. Admit wrongdoing.
2. Apologize.
3. Try to correct the wrong you did.
I was told when you do the wrong thing there are specific steps you take to ask forgiveness.
1. Admit wrongdoing.
2. Apologize.
3. Try to correct the wrong you did.
I highly support this.
If you aren't willing to do any of the above, how can you really say you're legitimately apologetic? #3 is very important to distinguish people who are sincerely sorry, versus those who just want to make friendships over for their benefit.
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I guess I don't know where forgetting ties in with baggage. Try not to hold your next partner responsible for the last. Try not to assume they have the same values as the partner that treated you poorly. I think the real thrust of this thread might be for all who find themselves in a position to by untrustworthy, for cristsakes, think, think about the destruction of trust and all the people you're going to hurt and you won't do it to begin with. It would be nice if these threads weren't necessary. unrealistic I suppose. I'm a hypocrite trying to use my experience to help others btw.
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In response to: Okay - I understand the forgive part, but where does the 'forget' come from? According to what little I've learned about how the human brain works,it is neurologically impossible to simply forget at will, and yet these two terms are linked together as if synonymous. Even if it were possible to forget an offense would it really be wise to do so? Does the fact that I still remember mean I haven't truly forgiven?
I dont think 'forgetting' literally means taking out of our mind. You are correct to say that we cannot just forget something if we tell our mind to do it.. however, I believe forgetting means never reminding the person, never holding it against them what they did, and just letting it go! It means not allowing what was done to become a burden on our souls that we cant move on! I think that's what is meant by forgetting!
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