Forgive & forget? (99)
online today!online today!nanners2863Cayuga, Ontario Canada38 Threads 3,355 Postsnicki_love: I dont think 'forgetting' literally means taking out of our mind. You are correct to say that we cannot just forget something if we tell our mind to do it.. however, I believe forgetting means never reminding the person, never holding it against them what they did, and just letting it go! It means not allowing what was done to become a burden on our souls that we cant move on! I think that's what is meant by forgetting!
Agreed!------ This thread is Archived ------
Joyfullspirit: Okay - I understand the forgive part, but where does the 'forget' come from? According to what little I've learned about how the human brain works,it is neurologically impossible to simply forget at will, and yet these two terms are linked together as if synonymous. Even if it were possible to forget an offense would it really be wise to do so? Does the fact that I still remember mean I haven't truly forgiven?
We never forget, but only have understanding through forgiveness and moving on.
I know there are some extreme examples out there, so I can't speak on behalf of those horrible and tragic experiences since I've never experienced that.
I have experienced other things like being cheated on, betrayed, used, lied to, treated a certain way, etc. I've reached down within and was able to understand all of this and not take it personally in a lot of ways. I've had the courage to forgive and start anew or just move on and not let it affect my well being and present state of being. True, we will never forget, but the power is ours in how we choose to approach and react to these situations. Circumstances don't matter, state of being matters.
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You can forget about the harms done to you in the past...but you have to die to the past.
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Joyfullspirit: I can forgive but I can't forget it and continue on like nothing happened.
I know.------ This thread is Archived ------
nicki_love: I dont think 'forgetting' literally means taking out of our mind. You are correct to say that we cannot just forget something if we tell our mind to do it.. however, I believe forgetting means never reminding the person, never holding it against them what they did, and just letting it go! It means not allowing what was done to become a burden on our souls that we cant move on! I think that's what is meant by forgetting!
THANK YOU!
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StressFree: True, we will never forget, but the power is ours in how we choose to approach and react to these situations. Circumstances don't matter, state of being matters.
well said - thank you------ This thread is Archived ------
thewall2: You can forget about the harms done to you in the past...but you have to die to the past.
I want to put some input to this I may be wrong if so I can be told so, but to forgive someone for a wrong doing is just that you are ok with what happened or what has been said and go on to forget it you need not bring it up again to that person because if you do you really haven't forgiven them and if in a relationship if its happening it will not stay together it will cause problems.
I think a lot of us have had this situation , we learn from it try to put it behind us and not let it eat at our hearts its worse on the person to carry that than the one who dished it out.
Hope I made some sense.
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In response to: Okay - I understand the forgive part, but where does the 'forget' come from? According to what little I've learned about how the human brain works,it is neurologically impossible to simply forget at will, and yet these two terms are linked together as if synonymous. Even if it were possible to forget an offense would it really be wise to do so? Does the fact that I still remember mean I haven't truly forgiven?
I think what they ment when they came up with that saying is fogive and don't ever talk about it
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nicki_love: I dont think 'forgetting' literally means taking out of our mind. You are correct to say that we cannot just forget something if we tell our mind to do it.. however, I believe forgetting means never reminding the person, never holding it against them what they did, and just letting it go! It means not allowing what was done to become a burden on our souls that we cant move on! I think that's what is meant by forgetting!
I agree. I have always forgiven , it doesnt do anyone any good to hold onto anger etc.. you just learn from it.
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kkitty2: I think what they ment when they came up with that saying is fogive and don't ever talk about it
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To forget means you no longer bring it to mind, or to the mind of the person you've forgiven. Of course you still retain the memory, but you don't use it as a weapon or dwell on it to cause yourself continued pain. 
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lovingyou49: I want to put some input to this I may be wrong if so I can be told so, but to forgive someone for a wrong doing is just that you are ok with what happened or what has been said and go on to forget it you need not bring it up again to that person because if you do you really haven't forgiven them and if in a relationship if its happening it will not stay together it will cause problems.
I think a lot of us have had this situation , we learn from it try to put it behind us and not let it eat at our hearts its worse on the person to carry that than the one who dished it out.
Hope I made some sense.
I think a lot of us have had this situation , we learn from it try to put it behind us and not let it eat at our hearts its worse on the person to carry that than the one who dished it out.
Hope I made some sense.
I don't think FORGIVENESS is saying it's o.k for a harm that someone has done...forgiveness is saying it's over...it also doesn't happen over night...it takes time.
I'M ALSO aware on my end that sometimes the people who have hurt me,alot of the times,are sorry for what they did and just didn't know any better at the time....and with that understanding...it's easier to forgive....and without bringing too much religion or God into it...if GOD has forgiven me for my wrongs....who am I not to forgive others.
But what is important is forgiveness is not saying it's o.k...it is not o.k,,it's never o.k...forgiveness is saying it's over.
I release you and I RELEASE MYSELF FROM WHATEVER HARM WAS CAUSED...
and if there is someway we can reconcile and be friends or whatever...fine.
Sometimes...depending on what has been done,,,the best possible relationship is one of distance.I think each case varies...
If that makes sense...
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Yes we are supposed to forgive or u wont be forgiven on judgement day but as to forget i believe it simply means to leave in the past where it belongs dont dwell on it.
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thewall2: I don't think FORGIVENESS is saying it's o.k for a harm that someone has done...forgiveness is saying it's over...it also doesn't happen over night...it takes time.
I'M ALSO aware on my end that sometimes the people who have hurt me,alot of the times,are sorry for what they did and just didn't know any better at the time....and with that understanding...it's easier to forgive....and without bringing too much religion or God into it...if GOD has forgiven me for my wrongs....who am I not to forgive others.But what is important is forgiveness is not saying it's o.k...it is not o.k,,it's never o.k...forgiveness is saying it's over.
I release you and I RELEASE MYSELF FROM WHATEVER HARM WAS CAUSED...
and if there is someway we can reconcile and be friends or whatever...fine.
Sometimes...depending on what has been done,,,the best possible relationship is one of distance.I think each case varies...If that makes sense...
I'M ALSO aware on my end that sometimes the people who have hurt me,alot of the times,are sorry for what they did and just didn't know any better at the time....and with that understanding...it's easier to forgive....and without bringing too much religion or God into it...if GOD has forgiven me for my wrongs....who am I not to forgive others.But what is important is forgiveness is not saying it's o.k...it is not o.k,,it's never o.k...forgiveness is saying it's over.
I release you and I RELEASE MYSELF FROM WHATEVER HARM WAS CAUSED...
and if there is someway we can reconcile and be friends or whatever...fine.
Sometimes...depending on what has been done,,,the best possible relationship is one of distance.I think each case varies...If that makes sense...
Well put Wall
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Joyfullspirit: Okay - I understand the forgive part, but where does the 'forget' come from? According to what little I've learned about how the human brain works,it is neurologically impossible to simply forget at will, and yet these two terms are linked together as if synonymous. Even if it were possible to forget an offense would it really be wise to do so? Does the fact that I still remember mean I haven't truly forgiven?
Why "forgive" another for something, and hang on to the resentment?
If I "feel" another has wronged me, I have NOT forgiven them unless I am willing to forget it happened..
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...but I also don't forgive for the sake of the other person as much as I do FOR myself...I forgive ...so I CAN be free,so in a way..to me ,,,IT'S A BIT OF A SELFISH ACT...
It's also a proven fact that people who are truly able to forgive were able to move on with their lives....and the people who couldn't ...stayed invalid.
AND TO ANSWER the @op's QUESTION....I think....depending on how badly you've been hurt...it might take some time to forgive...and maybe you might forget about what was done for 4 or 5 months,,,and then the anger at what the person did comes back....and you have to try again to practice forgiving...and forgetting....it's an ongoing process...sometimes a lifetime...but like I SAID...you don't do it for the other person...you do it for you.
Forgiveness is hard...but I PRACTRICE...and let 5 people off the hook everyday...
AS FOR THE REST....
It's also a proven fact that people who are truly able to forgive were able to move on with their lives....and the people who couldn't ...stayed invalid.
AND TO ANSWER the @op's QUESTION....I think....depending on how badly you've been hurt...it might take some time to forgive...and maybe you might forget about what was done for 4 or 5 months,,,and then the anger at what the person did comes back....and you have to try again to practice forgiving...and forgetting....it's an ongoing process...sometimes a lifetime...but like I SAID...you don't do it for the other person...you do it for you.
Forgiveness is hard...but I PRACTRICE...and let 5 people off the hook everyday...
AS FOR THE REST....
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thewall2: I don't think FORGIVENESS is saying it's o.k for a harm that someone has done...forgiveness is saying it's over...it also doesn't happen over night...it takes time.
I'M ALSO aware on my end that sometimes the people who have hurt me,alot of the times,are sorry for what they did and just didn't know any better at the time....and with that understanding...it's easier to forgive....and without bringing too much religion or God into it...if GOD has forgiven me for my wrongs....who am I not to forgive others.But what is important is forgiveness is not saying it's o.k...it is not o.k,,it's never o.k...forgiveness is saying it's over.
I release you and I RELEASE MYSELF FROM WHATEVER HARM WAS CAUSED...
and if there is someway we can reconcile and be friends or whatever...fine.
Sometimes...depending on what has been done,,,the best possible relationship is one of distance.I think each case varies...If that makes sense...
I'M ALSO aware on my end that sometimes the people who have hurt me,alot of the times,are sorry for what they did and just didn't know any better at the time....and with that understanding...it's easier to forgive....and without bringing too much religion or God into it...if GOD has forgiven me for my wrongs....who am I not to forgive others.But what is important is forgiveness is not saying it's o.k...it is not o.k,,it's never o.k...forgiveness is saying it's over.
I release you and I RELEASE MYSELF FROM WHATEVER HARM WAS CAUSED...
and if there is someway we can reconcile and be friends or whatever...fine.
Sometimes...depending on what has been done,,,the best possible relationship is one of distance.I think each case varies...If that makes sense...
Perfectly stated my friend...
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StressFree: Well put Wall
Thanks...
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Forgive YES, Forget NEED TIME and NOT EASY
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HJFinAZ: Perfectly stated my friend...
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