Ladies: Do you get the feeling that the widowed men here just want a mother for their kids? (85)
deadbutwhy: Not a lady, however I believe in good faith when initiating contact with a person, and giving them a real chance... no prejudice. Like what mindfful said.
REAL people deserve real chances.
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mindfful: hey if the guy only stopped in 2 nights a week, was quiet and erm...'sufficient' i might be interested in such an offer
'Sufficient' need to add that to my new naughty words category.
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tainogirl: REAL people deserve real chances.
I'm glad we agree 
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whoops.. i realized my post didnt sound right.. what i meant is some of these same type of men might be also looking for a woman to take care of a man with a childs mind..meaning a man who isnt grown up enough to be responsible for taking care of himself and wants a mommy to take care of him..?
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mindfful: true because rarely does anyone here stand up and say knock off the stereotypes-...
Really? Rarely??
I see many CSers knocking off the stereotypes here all the time.
mindfful: true because rarely does anyone here stand up and say knock off the stereotypes-and frankly i dont worry about who barfs where and thank god i dont measure my responses to that of others
sometimes im out of whack in a reaction but arent we all but why would i care how people react to stereotypes and rudeness? i can only do me- i am powerless over others choices.
it does make me puke-
and if she meant mail it seemed she would have said so but who knows?
i am not all that invested in it- thats how i read it and i found it a disappointment as i saidim off to a commute
see ya
sometimes im out of whack in a reaction but arent we all but why would i care how people react to stereotypes and rudeness? i can only do me- i am powerless over others choices.
it does make me puke-
and if she meant mail it seemed she would have said so but who knows?
i am not all that invested in it- thats how i read it and i found it a disappointment as i saidim off to a commute
see ya
Talking about your choices, not others.
In all the honesty, E., your reaction to stereotypes and rudeness is very selective.
Have a safe commute.
See ya.
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tainogirl: REAL people deserve real chances.
Agree again.
REAL being a key word.
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fact: i've never been married and don't have kids either.
truth be told: i prefer to be with someone who has no other responsibilities than himself too. It's better if you start fresh, together, on the same page.
truth be told: i prefer to be with someone who has no other responsibilities than himself too. It's better if you start fresh, together, on the same page.
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plainlyjune: fact: i've never been married and don't have kids either.
truth be told: i prefer to be with someone who has no other responsibilities than himself too. It's better if you start fresh, together, on the same page.
truth be told: i prefer to be with someone who has no other responsibilities than himself too. It's better if you start fresh, together, on the same page.
Preference is different than prejudice.
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peacock33: Have any ladies noticed that there seem to be sooooo many men on this site who are widowed and have children? I am suspicious that they even are widowed, (women almost always live longer than men). Just wondering what you ladies think.
Yuk. Poor guys have lost someone they love and get over it and care for the kids at the same time and maybe get brave, sign on here and then they see this crock of sh&&.
Why should a widow or widower want anything different to a single father or a single mother or a divorced man or woman?
If anyone's suspicious that someone's lying about their status as a widow, widower, woman, man or anything - isn't the best policy to just walk on by eh?
Or maybe do something that shows one's caring side - like ask them for a copy of the death certificate? I am sure that they'll be more than pleased to send one. In fact I suspect most widows and widowers have a copy scanned and handy on their PC - just in case a real 'catch' of a woman / man turns up.
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I can honestly say the thought has never crossed my mind...
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ya i would have to agree with the other posters on not stereotyping..it all depends on the guy and what his actions are showing you..your topic sounded to me like you've run into a lot of men who are looking for someone to take care of them or their kids?
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peacock33: Have any ladies noticed that there seem to be sooooo many men on this site who are widowed and have children? I am suspicious that they even are widowed, (women almost always live longer than men). Just wondering what you ladies think.
In answer to your question, No, I havent.
I have seen alot of proud single fathers speak on here about their priorities, and always, always, its their kids.
I know of one particular guy on here who pretty much lost out on a lovely lady because the physical distance between them meant that they couldnt be together because he just couldnt bare to leave his kids. That was a great pity, but noteworthy of him to be that devoted to put his kids happiness before his own.
And I gotta say, to be as suspicious and sceptical as you are in your post bodes not well for your future love life, I would say. Keep a more open mind, and dont lump any demographic group all together.
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I wonder what the actual question is here: is it the motive of truly widowed men, or are you suspecting that men, who are anything but widowed, choose this option for whatever reasons?
As to the widowed fathers: isn't it natural that a man, who has lost his life partner and is finally ready for a new relationship, would want to find someone who will get on well with the most important people he has left in his life?
As to the widowed fathers: isn't it natural that a man, who has lost his life partner and is finally ready for a new relationship, would want to find someone who will get on well with the most important people he has left in his life?
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I happen to have two close male friend's, who are both widower's and also both have 3 children!
They have dated various women over the last ten years that I've known them. But nothing serious as their children were young and their needs were paramount...some people can't stick around for that stuff and the guy's didn't want to bring someone like that into their families.
Anyway, both men seem pretty intent on looking more seriously for a partner when their kids are older and are quite focused on the needs of their kids in the here and now as being far more important.
I think realistically, everyone on this site has the opportunity to 'gild the lily'...so to speak and it's through talking to people and seeing what you have in common, that you get to decide how genuine a person is.
I strenuously 'disagree' that that there seems to be some over abundance of men looking for someone to step in and be mother to their children.
But I have noticed the scammers...or people seeming to use this site for reasons other than finding a partner...often say they are widowed.
They have dated various women over the last ten years that I've known them. But nothing serious as their children were young and their needs were paramount...some people can't stick around for that stuff and the guy's didn't want to bring someone like that into their families.
Anyway, both men seem pretty intent on looking more seriously for a partner when their kids are older and are quite focused on the needs of their kids in the here and now as being far more important.
I think realistically, everyone on this site has the opportunity to 'gild the lily'...so to speak and it's through talking to people and seeing what you have in common, that you get to decide how genuine a person is.
I strenuously 'disagree' that that there seems to be some over abundance of men looking for someone to step in and be mother to their children.
But I have noticed the scammers...or people seeming to use this site for reasons other than finding a partner...often say they are widowed.
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peacock33: Have any ladies noticed that there seem to be sooooo many men on this site who are widowed and have children? I am suspicious that they even are widowed, (women almost always live longer than men). Just wondering what you ladies think.
Paxil works pretty well for increased paranoia ....
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ChasingCars: Yuk. Poor guys have lost someone they love and get over it and care for the kids at the same time and maybe get brave, sign on here and then they see this crock of sh&&.
Why should a widow or widower want anything different to a single father or a single mother or a divorced man or woman?
If anyone's suspicious that someone's lying about their status as a widow, widower, woman, man or anything - isn't the best policy to just walk on by eh?
Or maybe do something that shows one's caring side - like ask them for a copy of the death certificate? I am sure that they'll be more than pleased to send one. In fact I suspect most widows and widowers have a copy scanned and handy on their PC - just in case a real 'catch' of a woman / man turns up.
Why should a widow or widower want anything different to a single father or a single mother or a divorced man or woman?
If anyone's suspicious that someone's lying about their status as a widow, widower, woman, man or anything - isn't the best policy to just walk on by eh?
Or maybe do something that shows one's caring side - like ask them for a copy of the death certificate? I am sure that they'll be more than pleased to send one. In fact I suspect most widows and widowers have a copy scanned and handy on their PC - just in case a real 'catch' of a woman / man turns up.
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DodgeBabe: In answer to your question, No, I havent.
I have seen alot of proud single fathers speak on here about their priorities, and always, always, its their kids.
I know of one particular guy on here who pretty much lost out on a lovely lady because the physical distance between them meant that they couldnt be together because he just couldnt bare to leave his kids. That was a great pity, but noteworthy of him to be that devoted to put his kids happiness before his own.
And I gotta say, to be as suspicious and sceptical as you are in your post bodes not well for your future love life, I would say. Keep a more open mind, and dont lump any demographic group all together.
I have seen alot of proud single fathers speak on here about their priorities, and always, always, its their kids.
I know of one particular guy on here who pretty much lost out on a lovely lady because the physical distance between them meant that they couldnt be together because he just couldnt bare to leave his kids. That was a great pity, but noteworthy of him to be that devoted to put his kids happiness before his own.
And I gotta say, to be as suspicious and sceptical as you are in your post bodes not well for your future love life, I would say. Keep a more open mind, and dont lump any demographic group all together.
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SHERRY50: I happen to have two close male friend's, who are both widower's and also both have 3 children!
They have dated various women over the last ten years that I've known them. But nothing serious as their children were young and their needs were paramount...some people can't stick around for that stuff and the guy's didn't want to bring someone like that into their families.
Anyway, both men seem pretty intent on looking more seriously for a partner when their kids are older and are quite focused on the needs of their kids in the here and now as being far more important.
I think realistically, everyone on this site has the opportunity to 'gild the lily'...so to speak and it's through talking to people and seeing what you have in common, that you get to decide how genuine a person is.
I strenuously 'disagree' that that there seems to be some over abundance of men looking for someone to step in and be mother to their children.
But I have noticed the scammers...or people seeming to use this site for reasons other than finding a partner...often say they are widowed.
They have dated various women over the last ten years that I've known them. But nothing serious as their children were young and their needs were paramount...some people can't stick around for that stuff and the guy's didn't want to bring someone like that into their families.
Anyway, both men seem pretty intent on looking more seriously for a partner when their kids are older and are quite focused on the needs of their kids in the here and now as being far more important.
I think realistically, everyone on this site has the opportunity to 'gild the lily'...so to speak and it's through talking to people and seeing what you have in common, that you get to decide how genuine a person is.
I strenuously 'disagree' that that there seems to be some over abundance of men looking for someone to step in and be mother to their children.
But I have noticed the scammers...or people seeming to use this site for reasons other than finding a partner...often say they are widowed.
Bingo. I've gotten tons of these, TONS. All claiming to be widowed and with kid/kids. You've got to read between the lines to get to the truth. Ladies got to be savy to pick out the real from the fake.
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hey if the guy only stopped in 2 nights a week, was quiet and erm...'sufficient' i might be interested in such an offer