getting over it. (25)
peterrockyrockingham, Western Australia Australia1 Threads 2 Postswell lets see,i recently broke up after a 11yr relationship,she broke it off because she had been screwing another bloke for nine mths and she wanted to be with him,what I ask is how long should i wait to try to start another relationship??
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peterrocky: well lets see,i recently broke up after a 11yr relationship,she broke it off because she had been screwing another bloke for nine mths and she wanted to be with him,what I ask is how long should i wait to try to start another relationship??
well I was going to say wait until you are past the bitterness, but maybe instead u should jump in before the bitterness sets in
how do you feel about it? do you like the idea of some time on your own - and taking the time to maybe meet a few different women? or is there someone else already? if there is - take it as slow as u can for the first yr or so
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For me , there is no standard time to start a new one , if i meet the right person that i love for 3 months i will do it anyway 
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yes i dont really know what i want at the moment,i feel very lonely but i would hate to rush in,u know like on the rebound.
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if you are not severely affected, you can start a new one...time is relative...
who knows ....
who knows ....------ This thread is Archived ------
That is such a good question. I am also in the same spot. good thing is it was due to me and my spouse with no other people as far as lovers go. A great deal of influence on my relationship was due to his friends. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, in the next relationship, pay attention to the friends. They make a huge impact.
Most sincerely,
Lookylou
Most sincerely,
Lookylou
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If I were you I would get out there and find yourself someone to go out for a drink with, go to the movies or go for dinner and see how it goes. I would suggest that you get to know her before jumping in feet first because that is the big mistake. When I was hurt and trying to get over a relationship, I found that I tended to bond too easily with someone just because he was nice to me. Because someone is nice to you or sleeps with you doesn't mean they necessarily care about you and your feelings, they may just be happy to have a casual fling and if that isn't your style, you could end up feeling worse.
That's just my advice looking back on my past relationships. In the end you will do whatever feels right for you like we all do!
Good luck and remember not everyone is a cheater so you have to learn to trust again.
That's just my advice looking back on my past relationships. In the end you will do whatever feels right for you like we all do!
Good luck and remember not everyone is a cheater so you have to learn to trust again.
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peterrocky: yes i dont really know what i want at the moment,i feel very lonely but i would hate to rush in,u know like on the rebound.
Then don't, rebound relationships are often bad for both....
Why not take some time out and have some fun meeting new folk....Who really needs a relationship all the time???
Have some fun and do not rush from one relationship to another....Give yourself a break....And of course the other folk, who need not put up with your what ifs and what else....Most folk find someone who has just broken up, a bit of hard work....Take some time out....Good Luck to you though in whatever you decide to do
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peterrocky: well lets see,i recently broke up after a 11yr relationship,she broke it off because she had been screwing another bloke for nine mths and she wanted to be with him,what I ask is how long should i wait to try to start another relationship??
Thats your question...how soon can you jump into another relationship???
My questions would be,
1.where is my wooden baseball bat
2.what kind of a car does the new dude drive and where does he park
3.How to spill laxative in my ex`s coffee, every morning ,undetected
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peterrocky: yes i dont really know what i want at the moment,i feel very lonely but i would hate to rush in,u know like on the rebound.
then just make some friends & see where that goes
rebound? there is always a rebound...I never actually dated or became intimate with my rebound man, but he is still a friend (sort of we aren't in contact & haven't been for years). he was a friend & much appreciated in hindsight
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Yeah maybe you should just take Boban's advice and get it out of your system before getting involved with someone new. If only I could have done that I would probably not have wasted years feeling frightened of having a new relationship.
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lilibelle: Yeah maybe you should just take Boban's advice and get it out of your system before getting involved with someone new. If only I could have done that I would probably not have wasted years feeling frightened of having a new relationship.
Well you can stick your coffee..............
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marijo70: if you are not severely affected, you can start a new one...time is relative... who knows ....
Hi Marijo..
I agree but if he's not badly affected would that mean that the relationship wasn't as serious as he thought it was. If he doesn't look for someone else for a year does that mean she meant more to him then if he finds someone else in a week?
Does the longer we mourn someone have credence to how much we loved them?
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peterrocky: well lets see,i recently broke up after a 11yr relationship,she broke it off because she had been screwing another bloke for nine mths and she wanted to be with him,what I ask is how long should i wait to try to start another relationship??
When you can think of your ex without crying, screaming or any other strong emotion, THEN you are ready to date again.
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lilibelle: Yeah maybe you should just take Boban's advice and get it out of your system before getting involved with someone new. If only I could have done that I would probably not have wasted years feeling frightened of having a new relationship.
It sounds more like advice to get it out of her system.
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jac379: It sounds more like advice to get it out of her system.
Sennapods.......
Mind you this oldie might be right.....
Or is it....????
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montecito: Hi Marijo.. I agree but if he's not badly affected would that mean that the relationship wasn't as serious as he thought it was.
If he doesn't look for someone else for a year does that mean she meant more to him then if he finds someone else in a week?
Does the longer we mourn someone have credence to how much we loved them?
If he doesn't look for someone else for a year does that mean she meant more to him then if he finds someone else in a week?
Does the longer we mourn someone have credence to how much we loved them?
Not necessarily.
How long we mourn can be to do with how we rationalise, or how pragmatic we are.
How long we stay on our own can be to do with our circumstances, or when we meet someone we like enough and likes us enough to have a relationship with.
I think this idea of length of mourning period directly relating to how much we loved someone is a rather old fashioned one. Whilst it can be a factor, its by no means the only one.
In fact, it rather pressurises people to mourn by societal expectation, rather than by a person's own needs.
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jac379: It sounds more like advice to get it out of her system.
In reality taking revenge only screws you up more in my opinion the best thing is to try to put it behind you and realise that sometimes it just wasn't your fault and the other person just wasn't happy with you so move on. Took me a while to see that though.
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patmac: Well you can stick your coffee..............
It was a flippant reply (one I should not have made) and you can trust my coffee
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lilibelle: It was a flippant reply (one I should not have made) and you can trust my coffee
I think I used that line a few times......Come on in you can enjoy my coffee.......
Seldom worked..... ------ This thread is Archived ------
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Created: Oct 2011
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