The Spirit Stone (An Adventure Story) (28)
Once they had left the town of Palm they had to walk along the path of Mantra road to get to the mines, Mantra road was a small dirt track that happened to go through a forest which was home to many diffrent creatures, the forest has monsters as well who didn't take too kindly to the presence of humans. It wasn't too long before Eddie and Izzy came across catapillar about the size of a fridge it had large sprial pattens on it's body and a large head with teeth the size of butter knives.
Izzy reached for her crossbow, while Eddie drew his sword, the catapillir rasied it's body towards the kids as to show off it's domanice. so Izzy fired an arrow at its tummy the arrow peiced the skin of the catapiller it gave a small growl at the pain then the catalpillar launched it's self at Izzy, so Justin steped forward and sliced the cataplilars head off. the catapillars body thrashed about but it was missing it head so it would die slowly.
Eddie stabed it again in the tummy to put it out of it's misery. Izzy put anouther arrow in her crossbow, it was about mid afternoon when they decied to stop at a stream and sit and eat some berries and relax for a while, Eddie took the green rock out of his pocket and washed it in the stream, while Izzy took a small nap on againest a tree, as Eddie washed the green rock it glowed again and he felt the same warm feeling he felt before at his grandfathers.
Then together the kids set up a campsite so that they could spend the night next to the stream, later Eddie caught some fish for dinner and they sat and looked up at the stars.
When they both woke up the next morning they continued to walk along Mantra road, soon they came across a small house next to a cave, the cave had a sign on it "danger Sult Mines". Eddie went and knocked on the door of the house and an elderly man opened the door he had a sword in his hand and was yelling at Eddie. Then Izzy had draw her arrows and fired a warning shot at the old man the arrown hit close to the front door where the old man was standing and yelling.
This shut the old man up for a second when Eddie pulled the map and they were given by Eddies grandfather. The elderly man relaxed straight away and said he was sorry. The elderly man invited Eddie & Izzy into his house and he made them tea and told them his name was Java. Eddie explained Java about what his grandfather told him and Java said he knew Eddies grandfather and they had both in there younger days explored the Sult Mines and wandered the countryside seeking new medicines and artifacts.
Java told both the kids he would be more than happy to help them out in getting them toughened up, and then he explained about how dangerous the mines were.
When Izzy explained how she and Eddie dealt with the cataplillar.
Java just threw his head back and laughed and explained that the creatures in the mines were far far worse, the creatures down there inculded Slimes, Spiders, Bats and Orcs. Izzy was curious about the Orcs and just what they were. So java explained that they lived deep within the ground of the earth digging and searching for gold, and that last time Java was down there in the mines he dropped his gold ring, he told them if they could recover the ring then Java will know there tough enough and also Java would give them a passport to get to the town of New Palm.
New Palm was a town located across the oceans, both Eddie and Sue knew that Eddie's father went over there to hone his skills and make new discoverys as an adventuer. So after the tea was finished both Izzy and Eddie got themselves prepared for the mining trip, Java gave them hand grenades to help break some of the rocks down in the mines.
END OF CHAPTER
Thanks For Reading
Izzy reached for her crossbow, while Eddie drew his sword, the catapillir rasied it's body towards the kids as to show off it's domanice. so Izzy fired an arrow at its tummy the arrow peiced the skin of the catapiller it gave a small growl at the pain then the catalpillar launched it's self at Izzy, so Justin steped forward and sliced the cataplilars head off. the catapillars body thrashed about but it was missing it head so it would die slowly.
Eddie stabed it again in the tummy to put it out of it's misery. Izzy put anouther arrow in her crossbow, it was about mid afternoon when they decied to stop at a stream and sit and eat some berries and relax for a while, Eddie took the green rock out of his pocket and washed it in the stream, while Izzy took a small nap on againest a tree, as Eddie washed the green rock it glowed again and he felt the same warm feeling he felt before at his grandfathers.
Then together the kids set up a campsite so that they could spend the night next to the stream, later Eddie caught some fish for dinner and they sat and looked up at the stars.
When they both woke up the next morning they continued to walk along Mantra road, soon they came across a small house next to a cave, the cave had a sign on it "danger Sult Mines". Eddie went and knocked on the door of the house and an elderly man opened the door he had a sword in his hand and was yelling at Eddie. Then Izzy had draw her arrows and fired a warning shot at the old man the arrown hit close to the front door where the old man was standing and yelling.
This shut the old man up for a second when Eddie pulled the map and they were given by Eddies grandfather. The elderly man relaxed straight away and said he was sorry. The elderly man invited Eddie & Izzy into his house and he made them tea and told them his name was Java. Eddie explained Java about what his grandfather told him and Java said he knew Eddies grandfather and they had both in there younger days explored the Sult Mines and wandered the countryside seeking new medicines and artifacts.
Java told both the kids he would be more than happy to help them out in getting them toughened up, and then he explained about how dangerous the mines were.
When Izzy explained how she and Eddie dealt with the cataplillar.
Java just threw his head back and laughed and explained that the creatures in the mines were far far worse, the creatures down there inculded Slimes, Spiders, Bats and Orcs. Izzy was curious about the Orcs and just what they were. So java explained that they lived deep within the ground of the earth digging and searching for gold, and that last time Java was down there in the mines he dropped his gold ring, he told them if they could recover the ring then Java will know there tough enough and also Java would give them a passport to get to the town of New Palm.
New Palm was a town located across the oceans, both Eddie and Sue knew that Eddie's father went over there to hone his skills and make new discoverys as an adventuer. So after the tea was finished both Izzy and Eddie got themselves prepared for the mining trip, Java gave them hand grenades to help break some of the rocks down in the mines.
END OF CHAPTER
Thanks For Reading
Once upon a time a young boy Eddie lived in a small village by the sea called Palm. An adventures boy, he enjoyed exploring and imagining all sorts of things as boys often do.
Sometimes Eddie's antics would get him into mischief. His best friend Lzzy was a little younger, neither cared about age differences as they had grown up together.
Sometimes Eddie's antics would get him into mischief. His best friend Lzzy was a little younger, neither cared about age differences as they had grown up together.
robplum: Once upon a time a young boy Eddie lived in a small village by the sea called Palm. An adventures boy, he enjoyed exploring and imagining all sorts of things as boys often do.
Sometimes Eddie's antics would get him into mischief. His best friend Lzzy was a little younger, neither cared about age differences as they had grown up together.
AdveturousSometimes Eddie's antics would get him into mischief. His best friend Lzzy was a little younger, neither cared about age differences as they had grown up together.
tonyxf: Adveturous
Adventurous
Lookin4missright: Adventurous
Ah crap I forgot the NI do write a little but it is for a specific audience. While the style I use is not in common use, it still relies on English grammar.
Not saying here you don't have the imagination to write a story, just that there are some rules with writing that do need to be followed.
I read many different types of books with many different styles. The story needs to grab me on the first page or I will put it aside. It is not an "age" thing as my daughter and I read a lot of the same things as do my son and I but my daughter and son read completely different books.
I would suggest wandering down to the local library and getting a few books out on writing which may help. Your story may become a "best seller" the way you are writing but personally, I would not go beyond the first page as it is.
Not saying here you don't have the imagination to write a story, just that there are some rules with writing that do need to be followed.
I read many different types of books with many different styles. The story needs to grab me on the first page or I will put it aside. It is not an "age" thing as my daughter and I read a lot of the same things as do my son and I but my daughter and son read completely different books.
I would suggest wandering down to the local library and getting a few books out on writing which may help. Your story may become a "best seller" the way you are writing but personally, I would not go beyond the first page as it is.
wash2u: I do write a little but it is for a specific audience. While the style I use is not in common use, it still relies on English grammar.
Not saying here you don't have the imagination to write a story, just that there are some rules with writing that do need to be followed.
I read many different types of books with many different styles. The story needs to grab me on the first page or I will put it aside. It is not an "age" thing as my daughter and I read a lot of the same things as do my son and I but my daughter and son read completely different books.
I would suggest wandering down to the local library and getting a few books out on writing which may help. Your story may become a "best seller" the way you are writing but personally, I would not go beyond the first page as it is.
Not saying here you don't have the imagination to write a story, just that there are some rules with writing that do need to be followed.
I read many different types of books with many different styles. The story needs to grab me on the first page or I will put it aside. It is not an "age" thing as my daughter and I read a lot of the same things as do my son and I but my daughter and son read completely different books.
I would suggest wandering down to the local library and getting a few books out on writing which may help. Your story may become a "best seller" the way you are writing but personally, I would not go beyond the first page as it is.
Awww common give the kid a break at least he is having a go and doing not a bad job at that and hey room for error's practice makes perfect
Plus he is entertaining us
Hey John,I have to agree with Wash , your use of Grammer is all wrong.I do feel you have an imagination ,however without grammer ,the story simply woll not flow ,Several examples are apparent in your first paragraph...
Once upon a time there was a young boy who lived in a small village named Palm by the sea, this little boys name was Eddie, he was an adventures little boy, who enjoyed exploring and imagining as little boys do. Sometimes his antics would get him into mischief. He had a best friend who's name was Izzy she was a little younger than Eddie but neither of them cared about age, as they had both grown up together.
Once upon a time an adventurous young boy named Eddie lived in a small seaside village called Palm.In saying this Palm should also be described to place the reader into the setting..perhaps start with that for example In a small seaside village nestled among towering cliffs etc The reader needs to be transported to your imaginary world with out that its just words on paper.If your really keen do a creative writing course.
Once upon a time there was a young boy who lived in a small village named Palm by the sea, this little boys name was Eddie, he was an adventures little boy, who enjoyed exploring and imagining as little boys do. Sometimes his antics would get him into mischief. He had a best friend who's name was Izzy she was a little younger than Eddie but neither of them cared about age, as they had both grown up together.
Once upon a time an adventurous young boy named Eddie lived in a small seaside village called Palm.In saying this Palm should also be described to place the reader into the setting..perhaps start with that for example In a small seaside village nestled among towering cliffs etc The reader needs to be transported to your imaginary world with out that its just words on paper.If your really keen do a creative writing course.
curly28: Awww common give the kid a break at least he is having a go and doing not a bad job at that and hey room for error's practice makes perfect Plus he is entertaining us
Well Im stayin out of it. I tryin to teach the kid to spell and had to have Lookin correct me
tonyxf: Well Im stayin out of it. I tryin to teach the kid to spell and had to have Lookin correct me
Yeah know what ya! mean I got in trouble from Mr L with me spellin
curly28: Awww common give the kid a break at least he is having a go and doing not a bad job at that and hey room for error's practice makes perfect Plus he is entertaining us
Turn your minds back peeps, its a kids story, at least its better than bloody metal detectors,,,,,,
tonyxf: Well Im stayin out of it. I tryin to teach the kid to spell and had to have Lookin correct me
Oddly enough, SpellCheck often finds nothing wrong with a word because it is correctly spelt. It is often simply the wrong word in the context. The again, half the time SpellCheck has the wrong spelling.
.I always have a dictionary and Thesaurus handy when I write not only to make sure I have the correct spelling but also to ensure I am using the word that gives the meaning I am after. My work means I am writing stuff all day to many different audiences (for want of a better word) and I have to be careful with my spelling, grammar, words and style to ensure that the message is getting across clearly to those audiences.
Curly, I am not knocking him for trying as I do know how hard it is to write other than what I do every day. As Kizzy has also pointed out, the style and grammar does need to follow some form and unless some constructive criticism is given, he will give up all to quickly.
But maybe I am wrong in correcting other peoples' work. I have a staff member who writes where often the grammar or the meaning is not clear, difficult to understand or even ambiguous, sometimes too technical for the chosen audience. Should I correct him as I have been doing with detailed explanations or should I just let him continue on his way and make the organisation (and me as his supervisor) look stupid?
wash2u: Oddly enough, SpellCheck often finds nothing wrong with a word because it is correctly spelt. It is often simply the wrong word in the context. The again, half the time SpellCheck has the wrong spelling. .
I always have a dictionary and Thesaurus handy when I write not only to make sure I have the correct spelling but also to ensure I am using the word that gives the meaning I am after. My work means I am writing stuff all day to many different audiences (for want of a better word) and I have to be careful with my spelling, grammar, words and style to ensure that the message is getting across clearly to those audiences.
Curly, I am not knocking him for trying as I do know how hard it is to write other than what I do every day. As Kizzy has also pointed out, the style and grammar does need to follow some form and unless some constructive criticism is given, he will give up all to quickly.
But maybe I am wrong in correcting other peoples' work. I have a staff member who writes where often the grammar or the meaning is not clear, difficult to understand or even ambiguous, sometimes too technical for the chosen audience. Should I correct him as I have been doing with detailed explanations or should I just let him continue on his way and make the organisation (and me as his supervisor) look stupid?
I always have a dictionary and Thesaurus handy when I write not only to make sure I have the correct spelling but also to ensure I am using the word that gives the meaning I am after. My work means I am writing stuff all day to many different audiences (for want of a better word) and I have to be careful with my spelling, grammar, words and style to ensure that the message is getting across clearly to those audiences.
Curly, I am not knocking him for trying as I do know how hard it is to write other than what I do every day. As Kizzy has also pointed out, the style and grammar does need to follow some form and unless some constructive criticism is given, he will give up all to quickly.
But maybe I am wrong in correcting other peoples' work. I have a staff member who writes where often the grammar or the meaning is not clear, difficult to understand or even ambiguous, sometimes too technical for the chosen audience. Should I correct him as I have been doing with detailed explanations or should I just let him continue on his way and make the organisation (and me as his supervisor) look stupid?
As for spell check it is American spell check on the computers mainly & their spelling is different than ours sometimes I think we have it wrong as we do not always spell the word as it sounds the Americans do spell as it sounds confusing
Typical Aussie & English way make it harder for us 
curly28: As for spell check it is American spell check on the computers mainly & their spelling is different than ours sometimes I think we have it wrong as we do not always spell the word as it sounds the Americans do spell as it sounds confusing Typical Aussie & English way make it harder for us
"I red a book."
"I like to reed."
"The wether looks bad and I am not sure wether the wether will survive the cold."
Yankee spelling does make it so much easier to understand.
wash2u: "I red a book."
"I like to reed."
"The wether looks bad and I am not sure wether the wether will survive the cold."
Yankee spelling does make it so much easier to understand.
I sore that, but eye didnt sea any cents in it."I like to reed."
"The wether looks bad and I am not sure wether the wether will survive the cold."
Yankee spelling does make it so much easier to understand.
I really enjoyed your story acdcrock, you seem to have a talent for story-telling and enjoy doing it too 
As others have mentioned, writing is a skill that needs to be learned just like anything else .. it's formulaic like most things and encompasses grammar, structure and so on.
Just like visual art
No one's born with a paintbrush in their hand and the skill to produce great works, they have to learn the basics to start with then enlarge on them with their own imagination and flair.
Please keep it up, and keep sharing
As others have mentioned, writing is a skill that needs to be learned just like anything else .. it's formulaic like most things and encompasses grammar, structure and so on.
Just like visual art
No one's born with a paintbrush in their hand and the skill to produce great works, they have to learn the basics to start with then enlarge on them with their own imagination and flair.
Please keep it up, and keep sharing
serene56: I really enjoyed your story acdcrock, you seem to have a talent for story-telling and enjoy doing it too
As others have mentioned, writing is a skill that needs to be learned just like anything else .. it's formulaic like most things and encompasses grammar, structure and so on.
Just like visual art
No one's born with a paintbrush in their hand and the skill to produce great works, they have to learn the basics to start with then enlarge on them with their own imagination and flair.
Please keep it up, and keep sharing
As others have mentioned, writing is a skill that needs to be learned just like anything else .. it's formulaic like most things and encompasses grammar, structure and so on.
Just like visual art
No one's born with a paintbrush in their hand and the skill to produce great works, they have to learn the basics to start with then enlarge on them with their own imagination and flair.
Please keep it up, and keep sharing
I have artists on both sides of my family, and I have trouble drawing a straight line when I need it. And probably related to the guy that designed (?) Federation Square. But my mother always said I was her only honest critic.
I remember going to an art exhibition in Sydney years ago where many now famous Australian artists' works were on display of what they saw at the same time of Bondi Beach (30s or 40s). They painted what they saw.
And the same for literature. My writings have travelled a bit around Australia with varying comments. The stories are mine and the way I have seen those stories. Okay, some have viewed them differently but they are my stories and memories.
Story tellers are born with a gift that I wish I had. Story telling is something that many people need to learn how to do while some just have that talent.
acdrock, find your space but realise that there are some rules you must follow to be able to get your work acceptable.
Once upon a time long, long ago when I was just out of puberty still not old enough to drink but I use to do it anyway.
So how drunk were you Ajax???
So how drunk were you Ajax???
kizzy27: Once upon a time long, long ago when I was just out of puberty still not old enough to drink but I use to do it anyway.
So how drunk were you Ajax???
drunk enough to see all that So how drunk were you Ajax???
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Chapter 1
Once upon a time there was a young boy who lived in a small village named Palm by the sea, this little boys name was Eddie, he was an adventures little boy, who enjoyed exploring and imagining as little boys do. Sometimes his antics would get him into mischief. He had a best friend who's name was Izzy she was a little younger than Eddie but neither of them cared about age, as they had both grown up together.
Both Eddie and Izzy yearned to go on exciting adventures and explore the world and discover all it's magic and wonder. one day when Eddie woke up and went downstairs of his 2 storey house his mother greeted him and told him that his grandfather wanted to see him about something, so Eddie quickly finished his breakfast of fish and chips and hurried over to his grandfathers. When he got there his grandfather took him into his study and showed Eddie a small green rock. Eddies grandfather explained that this rock was his fathers and that his father discoverd it across the oceans when he was on his many travels around the world.
When Eddie took hold of the rock in his hand the rock lit up bright green and Eddie felt a strong warm feeling flow through his body. Eddies grandfather gave him a backpack with some supplies which included some medical supplies and some food, then Eddies grandfather told him that he should follow in his father's footsteps. Eddies grandfather handed him a map and told him that on the outskirts of town there's a small mine called the Sult Mines. Eddies grandfather told him in order to prove he was tough enough to handle himself he had to go out there and fight some of the monsters living there.
So Eddie bid his grandfather goodbye and heads over to Izzy's house and goes inside, Eddie finds Izzy still sleeping so he opens the curtins and the sunlight wakes Izzy and sue Eddie proceeds to explain to Izzy about the green rock and about the Sult Mines. Together they decide they should go and look at these mines, so they ready themselves for the trip by gathering supplies and weapons and they both write letters to there familys telling them were they have gone.