What is Love (51)
Halv0: I can relate to your quandry of questions about why? Why can't they (the now ex's) be human enough to give a bloke closure? Why do they just end it and never speak again?
It seems to be a distinctly Western woman's trait to do this.
Eastern women are different. Communication is more forthright, and they say what they mean. They are more direct and seem to be more understanding of us men in this respect.
Maybe that is why so many Aussie men (like me) have gone over there and come back with an Asian wife?
I have past dating relationships where that same experience you have talked about happened to me, and I was (still am) none the wiser as to why....
It seems to be a distinctly Western woman's trait to do this.
Eastern women are different. Communication is more forthright, and they say what they mean. They are more direct and seem to be more understanding of us men in this respect.
Maybe that is why so many Aussie men (like me) have gone over there and come back with an Asian wife?
I have past dating relationships where that same experience you have talked about happened to me, and I was (still am) none the wiser as to why....
We are a throw away society ... we do not fix things any more we just piff it into the bin ...
We also do this with people ... and people do this with us ...
This is what I think the 'WHY' is ... its too hard to try and fix it, so lets just start over and over and over and over ...
Who knows, I may be right or I could be wrong .....
That would be a horrible way of going through life not trusting anyone. No one is 100% honest if they were the social structure would fall apart and everyone would want to kill everyone. However you can reach 90% of honesty between two people excluding the odd little lie like honey your bum looks great in those pants. I cannot help if at some point people want to leave because they believe someone else out there is going to give them more then I can. Good luck to them but they can never come back when they find out fantasy and reality are two different things.
PrOwLeR__: We are a throw away society ... we do not fix things any more we just piff it into the bin ...
We also do this with people ... and people do this with us ...This is what I think the 'WHY' is ... its too hard to try and fix it, so lets just start over and over and over and over ...
Who knows, I may be right or I could be wrong .....
We also do this with people ... and people do this with us ...This is what I think the 'WHY' is ... its too hard to try and fix it, so lets just start over and over and over and over ...
Who knows, I may be right or I could be wrong .....
Spot on P
And these days with the dating sites it's so easy to log on and find another partner (whatever) straight away if things don't go right. It's like one big lollieshop,allsorts of different types and flavours to try jmo.
I'm pretty sure i'll find my true std
on a dating site, before i ever find true love 
Should change my callsign to "Lookinforalollypop"
... not a pen*s 
Nothing much changes since the teen days lookin. I was very outgoing, use to hit 3 or more night clubs all around Sydney not to mention going for the real naughty girls living in Cambera I use to see the same girls who pretend to be virgins in local clubs getting gang banged by the lebs in north Sydney
The thing is some did and some didn't. 30 years on what matters is not the past as we all have one.
I use to see the same girls who pretend to be virgins in local clubs getting gang banged by the lebs in north SydneyThe thing is some did and some didn't. 30 years on what matters is not the past as we all have one.
Theresa4tgl: Love is....
Love doesn't seek to hurt and seek revenge.....love seeks to renew and restore.
Love doesn't seek to justify or punish......love seeks forgiveness and to forgive.
Love doesn't seek to be liked or loved by others.....love seeks to like, understand and love others.
Love doesn't seek to deny.....love seeks to give.
Love doesn't seek to mock or make fun of others weaknesses....love seeks to protect and defend the weak.
Love doesn't seek lie, gossip, or destroy.....love seeks truth and builds upon truth.
Love doesn't seek to be pleased....love seeks to please.
Love doesn't seek excuses.....love seeks solutions.
What else is love.....what are the characteristics of love to you. I'm sure there's more than what I've listed
Love doesn't seek to hurt and seek revenge.....love seeks to renew and restore.
Love doesn't seek to justify or punish......love seeks forgiveness and to forgive.
Love doesn't seek to be liked or loved by others.....love seeks to like, understand and love others.
Love doesn't seek to deny.....love seeks to give.
Love doesn't seek to mock or make fun of others weaknesses....love seeks to protect and defend the weak.
Love doesn't seek lie, gossip, or destroy.....love seeks truth and builds upon truth.
Love doesn't seek to be pleased....love seeks to please.
Love doesn't seek excuses.....love seeks solutions.
What else is love.....what are the characteristics of love to you. I'm sure there's more than what I've listed
Lookin4missright: I agree with a lot of what you have said H but not saying which parts or i'll never get a bonk off here There are a couple of women on CS that i would like to get to know,trust and fall in love with (depending if their the same in real life, and i win lotto). .. But again because of the trust thing ---> i snooze .. i lose
Deff not both
depending which one i met first and fell in love with..... did i make sense then 
Lookin4missright: Deff not both depending which one i met first and fell in love with..... did i make sense then
Ireland gets bloody cold, pack your winter woolies.
I think dating when older can be made more difficult by people's negative experiences.
Many people have been hurt; betrayed; abused; damaged by former relationships.
If these issues are not dealt with, then future potential partners and relationships are going to suffer as a result.
The only way one can allow themselves to be happy again, is to allow the bitterness and negative feelings go, and see a new relationship as just that..brand new. Not one already damaged by past experiences, pre-doomed to failure.
We have to look after ourselves first, but that doesn't mean cutting ourselves off from future happiness, because that is counter-intuitive.
It just means choosing well, taking it slowly and being good to both our own heart and the other person's heart.
A little respect for both goes a long way.
Many people have been hurt; betrayed; abused; damaged by former relationships.
If these issues are not dealt with, then future potential partners and relationships are going to suffer as a result.
The only way one can allow themselves to be happy again, is to allow the bitterness and negative feelings go, and see a new relationship as just that..brand new. Not one already damaged by past experiences, pre-doomed to failure.
We have to look after ourselves first, but that doesn't mean cutting ourselves off from future happiness, because that is counter-intuitive.
It just means choosing well, taking it slowly and being good to both our own heart and the other person's heart.
A little respect for both goes a long way.
mollybaby: I think dating when older can be made more difficult by people's negative experiences.
Many people have been hurt; betrayed; abused; damaged by former relationships.
If these issues are not dealt with, then future potential partners and relationships are going to suffer as a result.
The only way one can allow themselves to be happy again, is to allow the bitterness and negative feelings go, and see a new relationship as just that..brand new. Not one already damaged by past experiences, pre-doomed to failure.
We have to look after ourselves first, but that doesn't mean cutting ourselves off from future happiness, because that is counter-intuitive.
It just means choosing well, taking it slowly and being good to both our own heart and the other person's heart.
A little respect for both goes a long way.
Many people have been hurt; betrayed; abused; damaged by former relationships.
If these issues are not dealt with, then future potential partners and relationships are going to suffer as a result.
The only way one can allow themselves to be happy again, is to allow the bitterness and negative feelings go, and see a new relationship as just that..brand new. Not one already damaged by past experiences, pre-doomed to failure.
We have to look after ourselves first, but that doesn't mean cutting ourselves off from future happiness, because that is counter-intuitive.
It just means choosing well, taking it slowly and being good to both our own heart and the other person's heart.
A little respect for both goes a long way.
Even new relationships formed by old hearts are vulnerable, even if you yourself are ready to rock, chances are the person you meet may not be ..
The beauty of life is we evolve and we learn and we understand patterns and cycles ... you'd have to have lived with your head in the sand if you have not taken lessons from past relationships ..
Many people, myself as well will not hang around or stay, if we see those old familiar character traits we have learned to avoid, in a new relationship ..
If we question what we are doing with another, then I suggest we don't belong there ... and this is not about unresolved issues, negative feelings or bitterness, its more about the Oh no not you again in another being ...
Someone asked me once where are all the good prospects, the good men and the good woman ... I soon realised all the good catches were either married or in relationships ... snapped up and held on to ...
This made me wonder what had I become and what were my chances of ever becoming one of the good ones ... I have had a good look at myself, both inside and out ... Outside was easy to change ... Inside is a whole other story, and as I said earlier, trust is a huge one for me, I do not trust anyone and I seriously doubt, I could again ...
You only have to stub your toe once to know it hurts, I did it over and over again ... so I guess its now a matter of always wearing shoes ... No more stubbed toes .. << figuratively speaking of course ...
PrOwLeR__: Even new relationships formed by old hearts are vulnerable, even if you yourself are ready to rock, chances are the person you meet may not be ..
The beauty of life is we evolve and we learn and we understand patterns and cycles ... you'd have to have lived with your head in the sand if you have not taken lessons from past relationships ..
Many people, myself as well will not hang around or stay, if we see those old familiar character traits we have learned to avoid, in a new relationship ..
If we question what we are doing with another, then I suggest we don't belong there ... and this is not about unresolved issues, negative feelings or bitterness, its more about the Oh no not you again in another being ...
Someone asked me once where are all the good prospects, the good men and the good woman ... I soon realised all the good catches were either married or in relationships ... snapped up and held on to ...
This made me wonder what had I become and what were my chances of ever becoming one of the good ones ... I have had a good look at myself, both inside and out ... Outside was easy to change ... Inside is a whole other story, and as I said earlier, trust is a huge one for me, I do not trust anyone and I seriously doubt, I could again ...
You only have to stub your toe once to know it hurts, I did it over and over again ... so I guess its now a matter of always wearing shoes ... No more stubbed toes .. << figuratively speaking of course ...
The beauty of life is we evolve and we learn and we understand patterns and cycles ... you'd have to have lived with your head in the sand if you have not taken lessons from past relationships ..
Many people, myself as well will not hang around or stay, if we see those old familiar character traits we have learned to avoid, in a new relationship ..
If we question what we are doing with another, then I suggest we don't belong there ... and this is not about unresolved issues, negative feelings or bitterness, its more about the Oh no not you again in another being ...
Someone asked me once where are all the good prospects, the good men and the good woman ... I soon realised all the good catches were either married or in relationships ... snapped up and held on to ...
This made me wonder what had I become and what were my chances of ever becoming one of the good ones ... I have had a good look at myself, both inside and out ... Outside was easy to change ... Inside is a whole other story, and as I said earlier, trust is a huge one for me, I do not trust anyone and I seriously doubt, I could again ...
You only have to stub your toe once to know it hurts, I did it over and over again ... so I guess its now a matter of always wearing shoes ... No more stubbed toes .. << figuratively speaking of course ...
I don't agree that all the good ones are already married or in relationships. Because some good ones don't meet other good ones, and break free of them. So they are then free to find another good one. It is only the double-goods are in good relationships, and that is rarer than you'd think.
And I don't believe you should keep re-stubbing your toe either. That just means you haven't learned from the first toe stub.
if you go into a dark room and turn right to find the light switch to illuminate the room, only to stub your toe on a piece of furniture, you will retreat in pain.
Next time, you should go in to the left, more cautiously, and slowly find that lightswitch that will allow you brightness and light.
mollybaby: I don't agree that all the good ones are already married or in relationships. Because some good ones don't meet other good ones, and break free of them. So they are then free to find another good one. It is only the double-goods are in good relationships, and that is rarer than you'd think.
And I don't believe you should keep re-stubbing your toe either. That just means you haven't learned from the first toe stub.
if you go into a dark room and turn right to find the light switch to illuminate the room, only to stub your toe on a piece of furniture, you will retreat in pain.
Next time, you should go in to the left, more cautiously, and slowly find that lightswitch that will allow you brightness and light.
And I don't believe you should keep re-stubbing your toe either. That just means you haven't learned from the first toe stub.
if you go into a dark room and turn right to find the light switch to illuminate the room, only to stub your toe on a piece of furniture, you will retreat in pain.
Next time, you should go in to the left, more cautiously, and slowly find that lightswitch that will allow you brightness and light.
You may be right re the good ones ... I'm sure like any rule there are always exceptions ... though I think the good ones are a lot rarer than any of us may think ..
As for stubbing toes, as I wrote, when I walk these days my feet are protected in shoes, so dark room or not my toes are safe ...
PrOwLeR__: You may be right re the good ones ... I'm sure like any rule there are always exceptions ... though I think the good ones are a lot rarer than any of us may think ..
As for stubbing toes, as I wrote, when I walk these days my feet are protected in shoes, so dark room or not my toes are safe ...
As for stubbing toes, as I wrote, when I walk these days my feet are protected in shoes, so dark room or not my toes are safe ...
Yes, I do think good ones are rare. Or maybe it is better to say, the good ones for Us are rare.
But rare is not extinct, and makes them even more precious.
Let your feet free occasionally. Who knows, they might like it
nomoregoodnames: Ireland gets bloody cold, pack your winter woolies.
If ireland is on my way, i'll drink their beer and stay warm
PrOwLeR__: You may be right re the good ones ... I'm sure like any rule there are always exceptions ... though I think the good ones are a lot rarer than any of us may think ..
As for stubbing toes, as I wrote, when I walk these days my feet are protected in shoes, so dark room or not my toes are safe ...
As for stubbing toes, as I wrote, when I walk these days my feet are protected in shoes, so dark room or not my toes are safe ...
and you have friends with toe trucks just in case
Merriweather: I am happy that you have found all the right ingredients.. that is beaut... I think love was so much easier at younger ages... and it is elusive now, because I expect so much more...than I once did...
and guess what, men are far needier than women , JMO
and guess what, men are far needier than women , JMO
I think men are more complicated and sensitive than women overall.
We have all been sold a lie
Merriweather: I am happy that you have found all the right ingredients.. that is beaut... I think love was so much easier at younger ages... and it is elusive now, because I expect so much more...than I once did...
and guess what, men are far needier than women , JMO
and guess what, men are far needier than women , JMO
yep. 100% agree. Men are more needier. Despite the often gruff or 'macho' exterior, inside is mush. Most may not confess so, and I suppose I talk about me only in making this assumption.
So I found someone happy for me to be me and who likes (loves) me for me.
It is good to have expectations, Merry. Everybody does. Everybody should.
The trick for me was for those expectations to be based on what is realistically attainable.
At one time, I was looking for the female equivalent of "Jesus Christ". No wonder I was disappointed.
Despite my personal belief system and beliefs, I have now settled for someone with a non-Christian belief system. Now that was a massive change for me, and a massive paradigm shift in thinking and decision making.
Yeah, I agree that is was easier in youth to enter a relationship. Young people don't think about it. They just do it.
Youth reacts without consideration of the consequences so much. In some ways we lose that strenght and that spontaneity as we get older and more 'crotchetier'... Not that I am saying anyone other than myself is that...
Lookin4missright: I agree with a lot of what you have said H but not saying which parts or i'll never get a bonk off here There are a couple of women on CS that i would like to get to know,trust and fall in love with (depending if their the same in real life, and i win lotto). .. But again because of the trust thing ---> i snooze .. i lose
Fair enough. I would encourage you to let go of your reservations though. Maybe there is that trust thing that holds you back. But maybe for another, it is not a deal breaker ATM. Maybe, you might find that the trust things can have a paradigm shift, like mine has, once we step past the precipice of doubt, and historical based fear?
I speak from my own experience and my own point of view. With my past (that I have briefly revealed in other threads) I have found myself to be an explorer at heart (someone willing to walk past my fear, and to step into the unknown, untried, and unproven).
It is a scary and risky proposition, but it can have massive payoffs...
AgentAjax: I hear this all the time people taking other people for a financial ride. I must be lame or something but how is this possible? I mean when it comes to a relationship breakdown whatever you acquired prior undertaking a relationship is yours without a pre nap, and the same law applies nationally.
I suppose that depends how long you're together.
Also how much you believe what the other person tells you, people do things for love that they wouldn't normally do...give money for business ventures or simply because the other person persuades them, against their better judgement, that something is a good idea.
You don't go into a relationship assuming they're out to take you for everything you have.
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.....He said that his daughter did'nt want to be with me any longer and would'nt let me talk to her to find out why and he & her mum would'nt tell me either ....
.....I let it all go (long story) not knowing why she left me right up until 4/4/2015 at 5.30am.....
I can relate to your quandry of questions about why? Why can't they (the now ex's) be human enough to give a bloke closure? Why do they just end it and never speak again?
It seems to be a distinctly Western woman's trait to do this.
Eastern women are different. Communication is more forthright, and they say what they mean. They are more direct and seem to be more understanding of us men in this respect.
Maybe that is why so many Aussie men (like me) have gone over there and come back with an Asian wife?
I have past dating relationships where that same experience you have talked about happened to me, and I was (still am) none the wiser as to why....