An Italian boy goes to confession (23)
britishcolumbian: An Italian Boy's Confession
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
My typical high school confession in the school gym went something like...
Me: Bless me father for I have sinned, it’s been one week since my last confession.
Priest: go ahead my son
Me: well, father abut the same thing, I’ve had more impure thoughts and acts
Priest: were these impure acts alone or with someone else?
Me: what?
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galrads: My typical high school confession in the school gym went something like...
Me: Bless me father for I have sinned, it’s been one week since my last confession.
Priest: go ahead my son
Me: well, father abut the same thing, I’ve had more impure thoughts and acts
Priest: were these impure acts alone or with someone else?
Me: what?
Yep and at times they priest wants more details too ha ha wonder why eh?Me: Bless me father for I have sinned, it’s been one week since my last confession.
Priest: go ahead my son
Me: well, father abut the same thing, I’ve had more impure thoughts and acts
Priest: were these impure acts alone or with someone else?
Me: what?
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Lookin, don't you just love this cheecky kid? He had it all figured out: 
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britishcolumbian: Lookin, don't you just love this cheecky kid? He had it all figured out:
Yes mamm it reminds me of me and a mate very young being sacked as altarboys for stealing the altarboys costume (my mate after sacking) and drinking the blood of christ before mass when setting up things (sweet sherry) ...the cheeky priest 
We were both drunk at 11 approx yrs old... The funniest thing before our parents kicked our arses, was my partner altarboy riding around our hood on his pushbike wearing his altarboy costume, so friggin funny
As he was older than me, he looked over me from the age of 21-31 when we became partners in the entertainment scene... He was a knock'em out bloke (Italian)
and i was the cooler 
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Lookin4missright: Yes mamm it reminds me of me and a mate very young being sacked as altarboys for stealing the altarboys costume (my mate after sacking) and drinking the blood of christ before mass when setting up things (sweet sherry) ...the cheeky priest
We were both drunk at 11 approx yrs old... The funniest thing before our parents kicked our arses, was my partner altarboy riding around our hood on his pushbike wearing his altarboy costume, so friggin funny
As he was older than me, he looked over me from the age of 21-31 when we became partners in the entertainment scene... He was a knock'em out sort of bloke (Italian) and i was the cooler
ps, the costumes were pretty much similar to this boys one, but more broiley stuff We were both drunk at 11 approx yrs old... The funniest thing before our parents kicked our arses, was my partner altarboy riding around our hood on his pushbike wearing his altarboy costume, so friggin funny
As he was older than me, he looked over me from the age of 21-31 when we became partners in the entertainment scene... He was a knock'em out sort of bloke (Italian) and i was the cooler
Please disreguard the girl in this pic , coz if we had girls in the altar get things ready room, it may have been a different story if she was drunk too
pss, the reason my mate looked so funny wearing the costume riding his bike, was because he looked like Batman with the costume flapping everywhere
.... And we were into batman and throbyn big time back then ------ This thread is Archived ------
Lookin4missright: Yes mamm it reminds me of me and a mate very young being sacked as altarboys for stealing the altarboys costume (my mate after sacking) and drinking the blood of christ before mass when setting up things (sweet sherry) ...the cheeky priest
We were both drunk at 11 approx yrs old... The funniest thing before our parents kicked our arses, was my partner altarboy riding around our hood on his pushbike wearing his altarboy costume, so friggin funny
As he was older than me, he looked over me from the age of 21-31 when we became partners in the entertainment scene... He was a knock'em out bloke (Italian) and i was the cooler
This is a very funny story Lookin, will pass it on to someone who could identify with this We were both drunk at 11 approx yrs old... The funniest thing before our parents kicked our arses, was my partner altarboy riding around our hood on his pushbike wearing his altarboy costume, so friggin funny
As he was older than me, he looked over me from the age of 21-31 when we became partners in the entertainment scene... He was a knock'em out bloke (Italian) and i was the cooler
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britishcolumbian: This is a very funny story Lookin, will pass it on to someone who could identify with this
No worries lub, i'm pretty sure that the priest is long gone now. So i can't get sued 
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Lookin4missright: No worries lub, i'm pretty sure that the priest is long gone now. So i can't get sued
Nah of course you would not get sued ha ha, get in line............My cousin was soooo Catholic the her fiance was not allowed to even see her naked arm, she had to wear long sleeves.
After she got married she could tell dirty jokes better that any one.............
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britishcolumbian: Nah of course you would not get sued ha ha, get in line............
My cousin was soooo Catholic the her fiance was not allowed to even see her naked arm, she had to wear long sleeves.
After she got married she could tell dirty jokes better that any one.............
Have you any of the jokes My cousin was soooo Catholic the her fiance was not allowed to even see her naked arm, she had to wear long sleeves.
After she got married she could tell dirty jokes better that any one.............
I need a laugh
ps, short ones
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britishcolumbian: An Italian Boy's Confession
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
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A different one
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britishcolumbian: An Italian Boy's Confession
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
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Can not find my off colour jokes not too bad 
Jenny
Jenny------ This thread is Archived ------
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So a little misunderstanding ha ha
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Two Jehovah's Witnesses ( or substitute religion of your choice) knock on the door of an elderly lady.
She opens the door and asks who they are.
They tell her that they are Jehovah's Witnesses (OSROYC) and she lets them both inside.
She tells them to take a seat on her sofa, and asked if they would like a cup of tea or coffee.
"Two teas would be nice, please," came the reply.
Then she asked if they would like custard creams with their drinks.
"Oh, yes please, that would be lovely," came the response.
Five minutes later the old woman came back into the front room and placed the drinks and biscuits on the table, sat down and said, "So what is it that you want to talk to me about?"
The first shrugs her shoulders and says, "We don't know, this is the furthest that we have ever got."
She opens the door and asks who they are.
They tell her that they are Jehovah's Witnesses (OSROYC) and she lets them both inside.
She tells them to take a seat on her sofa, and asked if they would like a cup of tea or coffee.
"Two teas would be nice, please," came the reply.
Then she asked if they would like custard creams with their drinks.
"Oh, yes please, that would be lovely," came the response.
Five minutes later the old woman came back into the front room and placed the drinks and biscuits on the table, sat down and said, "So what is it that you want to talk to me about?"
The first shrugs her shoulders and says, "We don't know, this is the furthest that we have ever got."
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Lol so true this. I invited the JW inside my home they were so flabbergasted they didn't know what to say anymore
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"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"