You must be joking!... (47)

Oct 9, 2018 8:01 AM CST You must be joking!...
Arthur_Sixpence
Arthur_SixpenceArthur_SixpenceEnnis, Clare Ireland51 Threads 4 Polls 1,001 Posts
You know the drill by now..... >>>>>

Albert Einstien's brother was a bit of a monster wasn't he....
Frank Einstein....

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?...
An irreliphant...

What do you call cheese that's not yours?...
Natcho cheese...

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?....
He let out a little wine....

5/4 of all people admit that they are bad with fractions...
Oct 9, 2018 5:07 PM CST You must be joking!...
Arthur_Sixpence
Arthur_SixpenceArthur_SixpenceEnnis, Clare Ireland51 Threads 4 Polls 1,001 Posts
Two women playing golf when one gets knocked out by a stray golf ball.....her friend runs to the clubhouse and asks for a doctor...luckily there is a doctor there, he asks where she’s been hit ? She says between the first and second hole ! Doctor say crikey ! That Doesn’t leave much room for a plaster !
Oct 9, 2018 5:23 PM CST You must be joking!...
mollybaby
mollybabymollybabyCork City, Cork Ireland56 Threads 8 Polls 23,608 Posts
Arthur_Sixpence: Is that (mesh) a euphemism that I'm missing...you just don't know in this day and age...
It was you eho mentioned the mesh.

Therefore if it is a euphemism, it's yours. I can't claim it.
Oct 10, 2018 5:48 AM CST You must be joking!...
Q. Why was the man running down the road with a biscuit on his dlck?.

A. Because he was Fu(king crackers.
Oct 10, 2018 2:51 PM CST You must be joking!...
annaroach
annaroachannaroachLimerick, Ireland217 Threads 6,747 Posts
Glass coffins,will they become popular,
Remains to be seen ! laugh
Oct 10, 2018 5:26 PM CST You must be joking!...
annaroach: Glass coffins,will they become popular,
Remains to be seen !
laugh I like it laugh laugh
Oct 10, 2018 5:52 PM CST You must be joking!...
Arthur_Sixpence
Arthur_SixpenceArthur_SixpenceEnnis, Clare Ireland51 Threads 4 Polls 1,001 Posts
I got food poisoning yesterday.....
amazing what you can buy on that Russian Ebay website...
Oct 11, 2018 8:21 AM CST You must be joking!...
I once read a book all about anti gravity, I just couldn't put it down
Oct 11, 2018 9:43 AM CST You must be joking!...
Arthur_Sixpence
Arthur_SixpenceArthur_SixpenceEnnis, Clare Ireland51 Threads 4 Polls 1,001 Posts
Hello reception...this is the couple in room 203....I’ve just had a blazing row with my wife and now she wants to jump out of the window...receptionist says, that’s really a personal matter, I can’t help you..husband says, oh you can help...get maintenance up here, I can’t get the window open !
Oct 11, 2018 11:40 AM CST You must be joking!...
Saorstat
SaorstatSaorstatLongford, Ireland4 Threads 328 Posts
mollybaby: It was you eho mentioned the mesh.

Therefore if it is a euphemism, it's yours. I can't claim it.
Yerra girl,
When you're beat,

You're beat..????
Oct 11, 2018 1:15 PM CST You must be joking!...
Bnaughty
BnaughtyBnaughtyMálaga, Andalusia Spain43 Threads 2 Polls 4,685 Posts
I would´ve posted here earlier but I saw a bottle of orange and it said concentrate
Oct 11, 2018 2:00 PM CST You must be joking!...
jimgi
jimgijimgiroscommon, Roscommon Ireland3 Threads 1 Polls 978 Posts
Bnaughty: I would´ve posted here earlier but I saw a bottle of orange and it said concentrate
Luckily it said concentrate & not consumate.
Dread to think of what you'd be at.
Oct 11, 2018 2:12 PM CST You must be joking!...
fifitrixibelle
fifitrixibellefifitrixibellegalway, Galway Ireland20 Threads 1 Polls 4,629 Posts
jimgi: Luckily it said concentrate & not consumate.
Dread to think of what you'd be at.
It was probably the wrong colour, orange leaves a bad taste in some peoples mouths...just saying grin
Oct 11, 2018 3:11 PM CST You must be joking!...
jimgi
jimgijimgiroscommon, Roscommon Ireland3 Threads 1 Polls 978 Posts
fifitrixibelle: It was probably the wrong colour, orange leaves a bad taste in some peoples mouths...just saying
hmmm rolling on the floor laughing
Oct 11, 2018 3:14 PM CST You must be joking!...
fifitrixibelle
fifitrixibellefifitrixibellegalway, Galway Ireland20 Threads 1 Polls 4,629 Posts
Howre you jimgi? Its nice and peaceful over here, no one picking on me laugh
Oct 12, 2018 3:50 AM CST You must be joking!...
Bnaughty
BnaughtyBnaughtyMálaga, Andalusia Spain43 Threads 2 Polls 4,685 Posts
I was looking at my wife at the bottom of the stairs thinking to myself, she´s right, I am a pushy person
Oct 12, 2018 8:31 AM CST You must be joking!...
LadyBlackAdder
LadyBlackAdderLadyBlackAdderKillarney, Kerry Ireland24 Threads 2,355 Posts
A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter....How dairy!!!
Oct 12, 2018 8:38 AM CST You must be joking!...
LadyBlackAdder
LadyBlackAdderLadyBlackAdderKillarney, Kerry Ireland24 Threads 2,355 Posts
Yesterday, I missed my ex. So I reloaded and fired again.
Oct 12, 2018 9:47 AM CST You must be joking!...
aries1234
aries1234aries1234plymout, Devon, England UK175 Threads 3 Polls 5,672 Posts
Is that the Ballycashel Echo?" asks Mick.

"How much would it be to put an ad in your paper?"

"Five pounds an inch," a woman replies. "Why? What are you selling?"

"A ten-foot ladder," said Mick before slamming the phone down.
Oct 12, 2018 9:53 AM CST You must be joking!...
aries1234
aries1234aries1234plymout, Devon, England UK175 Threads 3 Polls 5,672 Posts
Whiskey
An Irishman goes into a bar in America and orders three whiskeys. The barman asks: "Would it be better for if I put all three shots in one glass?"

The Irishman replies: "No! I have two other brothers back at home, so every time I come into a pub, I order a shot for them both."


The following week, the Irishman orders just two whiskeys.

The barman asks: "Did something happen one of your brothers?" "Oh no," replies the Irishman. "I just decided to quit drinking!"
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by Arthur_Sixpence (51 Threads)
Created: Oct 2018
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