You must be joking!... (47)
Two women playing golf when one gets knocked out by a stray golf ball.....her friend runs to the clubhouse and asks for a doctor...luckily there is a doctor there, he asks where she’s been hit ? She says between the first and second hole ! Doctor say crikey ! That Doesn’t leave much room for a plaster !
Arthur_Sixpence: Is that (mesh) a euphemism that I'm missing...you just don't know in this day and age...
It was you eho mentioned the mesh.Therefore if it is a euphemism, it's yours. I can't claim it.
Q. Why was the man running down the road with a biscuit on his dlck?.
A. Because he was Fu(king crackers.
A. Because he was Fu(king crackers.
Glass coffins,will they become popular,
Remains to be seen !
Remains to be seen !
annaroach: Glass coffins,will they become popular,
Remains to be seen !
Remains to be seen !
I like it I got food poisoning yesterday.....
amazing what you can buy on that Russian Ebay website...
amazing what you can buy on that Russian Ebay website...
I once read a book all about anti gravity, I just couldn't put it down
Hello reception...this is the couple in room 203....I’ve just had a blazing row with my wife and now she wants to jump out of the window...receptionist says, that’s really a personal matter, I can’t help you..husband says, oh you can help...get maintenance up here, I can’t get the window open !
I would´ve posted here earlier but I saw a bottle of orange and it said concentrate
jimgi: Luckily it said concentrate & not consumate.
Dread to think of what you'd be at.
It was probably the wrong colour, orange leaves a bad taste in some peoples mouths...just saying Dread to think of what you'd be at.
Howre you jimgi? Its nice and peaceful over here, no one picking on me
I was looking at my wife at the bottom of the stairs thinking to myself, she´s right, I am a pushy person
A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter....How dairy!!!
Yesterday, I missed my ex. So I reloaded and fired again.
Is that the Ballycashel Echo?" asks Mick.
"How much would it be to put an ad in your paper?"
"Five pounds an inch," a woman replies. "Why? What are you selling?"
"A ten-foot ladder," said Mick before slamming the phone down.
"How much would it be to put an ad in your paper?"
"Five pounds an inch," a woman replies. "Why? What are you selling?"
"A ten-foot ladder," said Mick before slamming the phone down.
Whiskey
An Irishman goes into a bar in America and orders three whiskeys. The barman asks: "Would it be better for if I put all three shots in one glass?"
The Irishman replies: "No! I have two other brothers back at home, so every time I come into a pub, I order a shot for them both."
The following week, the Irishman orders just two whiskeys.
The barman asks: "Did something happen one of your brothers?" "Oh no," replies the Irishman. "I just decided to quit drinking!"
An Irishman goes into a bar in America and orders three whiskeys. The barman asks: "Would it be better for if I put all three shots in one glass?"
The Irishman replies: "No! I have two other brothers back at home, so every time I come into a pub, I order a shot for them both."
The following week, the Irishman orders just two whiskeys.
The barman asks: "Did something happen one of your brothers?" "Oh no," replies the Irishman. "I just decided to quit drinking!"
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Albert Einstien's brother was a bit of a monster wasn't he....
Frank Einstein....
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?...
An irreliphant...
What do you call cheese that's not yours?...
Natcho cheese...
What did the grape do when he got stepped on?....
He let out a little wine....
5/4 of all people admit that they are bad with fractions...