I think it is a mixture of both. My life threw obstacles my way that I had to learn to accept weren't my fault but I chose how to react to them afterwards.
Life chose me. I wanted to be dead for the longest, but now.... Things are actually starting to look up. Maybe, just maybe, we are given a shot at things and just maybe, if we truly deserve it, we can live up our dreams, which may have little or a lot to do with our purpose.
LOL...well i guess that what i was thinking as i wrote the question is that sometimes we have our "life" mapped out...and that would be us choosing life...and deciding we are going to live it that way...good or bad...
But then sometimes life throws you a "curve ball" (is that the right term??)...and you realize at that moment no matter what you had mapped out "Life" has now chosen you..and its going to take you by the scruff of the neck and force you to "Live" it...
I made some major decisions and stuck to my guns and because of it I ended up at 57 yo with a home, tools and supplies that are completely paid for and now enable me to live like a king on almost no income. I made that happen, yet at the same time I count my blessings because there are many curveballs that could have been thrown to prevent me from achieving this goal.
In fact, there *were* many curveballs that were thrown that prevented me from achieving much more. My original dream was to have a completely finished estate that Better Homes and Gardens would love to have on the cover of their magazine. Because of hardships along the way I was prevented from reaching that ultimate goal. My place right now, if it were to be photographed today, would be lucky to make it on the front cover of hobo magazine.
But that's ok with me! It's better than living on the street which is certainly what could have happened.
I count my blessings everyday. I appreciate hot and cold running water every time I turn it on. I marvel at the fact that I have dependable indoor plumbing. Any while my washer and dryer are second-hand (or third-hand) junk they do work! I feel like a king that I don't need to go to a Laundromat. I appreciate the little things in life.
Yes, it's true that my actions got me where I am today, but it's also true that life was kind enough to me to allow me to achieve what I have. Compared with my original dream you could say that I failed. But compared with many other people on this godforsaken planet I am living like royalty, and I really appreciate that.
I could write a book on this topic with respect to my life. I have had many 'failures' with respect to the lofty hopes and dreams that I once had, not only with respect to my living arrangements, but also with respect to my career choices. I do hold some pride in knowing that all of my career failures were totally beyond my control and had absolutely nothing at all to do with my personal performance. Unfortunately, I just keep getting jobs with companies that has bad management and had to lay off before I could climb up the ladder far enough to establish myself with something permanent.
My life has definitely been a combination of both my choices, and 'life's choices'. When the companies you are work for and are doing an excellent job for go under because of poor management at the top, that's 'life's choice' not yours. Anything that you have no control over is 'life's choice'. I definitely did not have control over every aspect of life. And I still don't.
In short, I feel that I took as much control over my life as I was able to do. I did my best and I have no regrets concerning my choices or performance. I have watched other people along the way who didn't seem to have any real direction at all. They were more like dust in the wind.
When I look back over this life that I have had, to date, there are parts of it that I had no choice over...as we all do....however, the conscious decisions that I have made in my life, I made. Therefore, I chose this life...I choose to be where I am, I choose the words that I speak, the actions that I take, the reactions that I have....if the question is of a higher power directing my life, I cannot answer....I like to believe I am guided in the direction I need to be taking...that situations and people are presented to me to learn more, and be more...most-times my decisions and choices I make are instinctual, as to what and how my life is lived...
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