Avoiding blame (18)
HJFinAZ: It is not uncommon to hear , "Why do these things always happen to me?"(Poor ME) If "these things" are always happening to us, the obvious answer is that we somehow bring them on ourselves. We are largely unconscious of what we're doing wrong until, slowly, eventually; we manage to dig ourselves out from the results. (It seems incredible that we actually seek to be hurt, but in a way many of us do so, with regularity.)
But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???
But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???
I didn't do it...It wasn't me....
Great thread....
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HJFinAZ: It is not uncommon to hear , "Why do these things always happen to me?"(Poor ME) If "these things" are always happening to us, the obvious answer is that we somehow bring them on ourselves. We are largely unconscious of what we're doing wrong until, slowly, eventually; we manage to dig ourselves out from the results. (It seems incredible that we actually seek to be hurt, but in a way many of us do so, with regularity.)
But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???
But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???
We landed on the moon?
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All too true, and a very usefull philosophy, but it's also a very dangerous one to point out on an individual basis,
it seems to piss people off with a frightening regularity.
it seems to piss people off with a frightening regularity.
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Ocee35: All too true, and a very usefull philosophy, but it's also a very dangerous one to point out on an individual basis,
it seems to piss people off with a frightening regularity.
it seems to piss people off with a frightening regularity.
HHmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!! Pissing people off is what I do best..
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HJFinAZ: It is not uncommon to hear , "Why do these things always happen to me?"(Poor ME) If "these things" are always happening to us, the obvious answer is that we somehow bring them on ourselves. We are largely unconscious of what we're doing wrong until, slowly, eventually; we manage to dig ourselves out from the results. (It seems incredible that we actually seek to be hurt, but in a way many of us do so, with regularity.)
But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???
But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???
Excellent thread
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Not beating my chest, but I tend to try and figure out what I did to get into any negative situation. It would be nice to be able to blame life's misfortunes on someone else. jmo
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Blaming other factors than your own or your self saves people from suicide.
If committing suicide all those you could have blamed will then take the blame for your suicide.
Interesting ...
If committing suicide all those you could have blamed will then take the blame for your suicide.
Interesting ...
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Indyfella: Not beating my chest, but I tend to try and figure out what I did to get into any negative situation. It would be nice to be able to blame life's misfortunes on someone else. jmo
One of so few...........
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i find it very liberating to take responsibility for my deeds, even the rotton ones.
Not nearly so often as when younger, I still do dirty deeds! Usually before thinking...
When people confront me about such things, I generally shock them when I say, "yes, I did that". They look very surprised.
When I say "yes, that was an asinine thing to have done, I'm sorry". They are usually quite understanding. I guess we all have our regretable moments.
Not nearly so often as when younger, I still do dirty deeds! Usually before thinking...
When people confront me about such things, I generally shock them when I say, "yes, I did that". They look very surprised.
When I say "yes, that was an asinine thing to have done, I'm sorry". They are usually quite understanding. I guess we all have our regretable moments.
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HJFinAZ: One of so few...........
In most cases, we're victims when we choose to be...
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HJFinAZ: It is not uncommon to hear , "Why do these things always happen to me?"(Poor ME) If "these things" are always happening to us, the obvious answer is that we somehow bring them on ourselves. We are largely unconscious of what we're doing wrong until, slowly, eventually; we manage to dig ourselves out from the results. (It seems incredible that we actually seek to be hurt, but in a way many of us do so, with regularity.)
But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???
But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???
I'm glad you started this thread.Boomerang finger comes to mind.
Time to look into the mirror .
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I have had a few occasions recently that I have heard people blame their life’s problems on other people. They can’t do this or that because of another person, what they did, or what they are going to do. They use everything as an excuse.
Many people I know hold on to bitterness gained in their childhood. They blame their parents for everything that has happened in their lives. But really once you are an adult, you can make your own choices. No one is holding you to the behaviors of your parents anymore. I hate it when people excuse their behavior with comments like “I was raised this way” or “I was abused therefore I’m different and allowed to behave badly”.
I know a now 41 year old man who struggles financially, and personally. He blames the state of his finances on his parents. He is forever whining with Poor ME! Why you might ask? His reply is “They never taught me how to manage money”. This man didn’t have the best parents in the world, but he had everything given to him. He had nice clothes, a nice home, cars bought for him. Yet he still blames his parents for his failings in life? How could that be I wonder? His sisters who grew up in the same household all manage their money and do well financially.
I know another set of siblings who are given every single opportunity in life and more and they keep failing at everything. One of them uses the excuse that she was sick as a child, and cant cope with life. The other, Im not exactly sure what his problem is, but he blames his dad anyway. These people are now in their late 40's and can’t hold jobs, can’t hold partners, and can’t deal with their own lives. How sad is that?
There is a time to deal with it and grow up. Yes, things might not have gone the very best way in their lives in the past, but sometimes I wonder if they're going to let that affect the now and the future. I sit back and wonder if they're going to let “them” whoever they may be, put them in a place where it ruins their entire life.
We do get to choose. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to get out of the cycle, rut, stagnation of our lives and do better. Attitude is a big part of it. Making conscious positive choices rather than allowing the wave of life wash over us is another.
In the end, the only person we have to blame or congratulate for our lives are ourselves.
Just my honest opinion.
Many people I know hold on to bitterness gained in their childhood. They blame their parents for everything that has happened in their lives. But really once you are an adult, you can make your own choices. No one is holding you to the behaviors of your parents anymore. I hate it when people excuse their behavior with comments like “I was raised this way” or “I was abused therefore I’m different and allowed to behave badly”.
I know a now 41 year old man who struggles financially, and personally. He blames the state of his finances on his parents. He is forever whining with Poor ME! Why you might ask? His reply is “They never taught me how to manage money”. This man didn’t have the best parents in the world, but he had everything given to him. He had nice clothes, a nice home, cars bought for him. Yet he still blames his parents for his failings in life? How could that be I wonder? His sisters who grew up in the same household all manage their money and do well financially.
I know another set of siblings who are given every single opportunity in life and more and they keep failing at everything. One of them uses the excuse that she was sick as a child, and cant cope with life. The other, Im not exactly sure what his problem is, but he blames his dad anyway. These people are now in their late 40's and can’t hold jobs, can’t hold partners, and can’t deal with their own lives. How sad is that?
There is a time to deal with it and grow up. Yes, things might not have gone the very best way in their lives in the past, but sometimes I wonder if they're going to let that affect the now and the future. I sit back and wonder if they're going to let “them” whoever they may be, put them in a place where it ruins their entire life.
We do get to choose. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to get out of the cycle, rut, stagnation of our lives and do better. Attitude is a big part of it. Making conscious positive choices rather than allowing the wave of life wash over us is another.
In the end, the only person we have to blame or congratulate for our lives are ourselves.
Just my honest opinion.
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Stay Right Size,and Keep MY Side of the Street clean.!
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somechick: I have had a few occasions recently that I have heard people blame their life’s problems on other people. They can’t do this or that because of another person, what they did, or what they are going to do. They use everything as an excuse.
Many people I know hold on to bitterness gained in their childhood. They blame their parents for everything that has happened in their lives. But really once you are an adult, you can make your own choices. No one is holding you to the behaviors of your parents anymore. I hate it when people excuse their behavior with comments like “I was raised this way” or “I was abused therefore I’m different and allowed to behave badly”.
I know a now 41 year old man who struggles financially, and personally. He blames the state of his finances on his parents. He is forever whining with Poor ME! Why you might ask? His reply is “They never taught me how to manage money”. This man didn’t have the best parents in the world, but he had everything given to him. He had nice clothes, a nice home, cars bought for him. Yet he still blames his parents for his failings in life? How could that be I wonder? His sisters who grew up in the same household all manage their money and do well financially.
I know another set of siblings who are given every single opportunity in life and more and they keep failing at everything. One of them uses the excuse that she was sick as a child, and cant cope with life. The other, Im not exactly sure what his problem is, but he blames his dad anyway. These people are now in their late 40's and can’t hold jobs, can’t hold partners, and can’t deal with their own lives. How sad is that?
There is a time to deal with it and grow up. Yes, things might not have gone the very best way in their lives in the past, but sometimes I wonder if they're going to let that affect the now and the future. I sit back and wonder if they're going to let “them” whoever they may be, put them in a place where it ruins their entire life.
We do get to choose. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to get out of the cycle, rut, stagnation of our lives and do better. Attitude is a big part of it. Making conscious positive choices rather than allowing the wave of life wash over us is another.
In the end, the only person we have to blame or congratulate for our lives are ourselves.
Just my honest opinion.
Many people I know hold on to bitterness gained in their childhood. They blame their parents for everything that has happened in their lives. But really once you are an adult, you can make your own choices. No one is holding you to the behaviors of your parents anymore. I hate it when people excuse their behavior with comments like “I was raised this way” or “I was abused therefore I’m different and allowed to behave badly”.
I know a now 41 year old man who struggles financially, and personally. He blames the state of his finances on his parents. He is forever whining with Poor ME! Why you might ask? His reply is “They never taught me how to manage money”. This man didn’t have the best parents in the world, but he had everything given to him. He had nice clothes, a nice home, cars bought for him. Yet he still blames his parents for his failings in life? How could that be I wonder? His sisters who grew up in the same household all manage their money and do well financially.
I know another set of siblings who are given every single opportunity in life and more and they keep failing at everything. One of them uses the excuse that she was sick as a child, and cant cope with life. The other, Im not exactly sure what his problem is, but he blames his dad anyway. These people are now in their late 40's and can’t hold jobs, can’t hold partners, and can’t deal with their own lives. How sad is that?
There is a time to deal with it and grow up. Yes, things might not have gone the very best way in their lives in the past, but sometimes I wonder if they're going to let that affect the now and the future. I sit back and wonder if they're going to let “them” whoever they may be, put them in a place where it ruins their entire life.
We do get to choose. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to get out of the cycle, rut, stagnation of our lives and do better. Attitude is a big part of it. Making conscious positive choices rather than allowing the wave of life wash over us is another.
In the end, the only person we have to blame or congratulate for our lives are ourselves.
Just my honest opinion.
Spoken like a stateman.
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HJFinAZ: It is not uncommon to hear , "Why do these things always happen to me?"(Poor ME) If "these things" are always happening to us, the obvious answer is that we somehow bring them on ourselves. We are largely unconscious of what we're doing wrong until, slowly, eventually; we manage to dig ourselves out from the results. (It seems incredible that we actually seek to be hurt, but in a way many of us do so, with regularity.)
But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???
Good point ,and only if what your saying is true half of the time, it's still good odds to stop blaming others.But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???
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I think there are many things in life, to be fair about this, the consequences of which we cannot take responsibility for.
We cannot say there is no blame, be it people or circumstances, for some things, when to say that would be a lie.
Continuing to blame people etc is not right if there IS something we can do to change things, but that is not possible in all circumstances. Some things can't be changed or made better for us, whether we blame anyone or not.
Apportioning blame, or not, is only one facet of taking responsibility for one's actions. There are many others, and without balance in reasoning, everything is out of context. (Wisdom to know the difference).
Sometimes other people are responsible and we just have to "accept the things we cannot change", and move from there, leaving the blame where it is due. Acceptance is a form of moving on too.
We cannot say there is no blame, be it people or circumstances, for some things, when to say that would be a lie.
Continuing to blame people etc is not right if there IS something we can do to change things, but that is not possible in all circumstances. Some things can't be changed or made better for us, whether we blame anyone or not.
Apportioning blame, or not, is only one facet of taking responsibility for one's actions. There are many others, and without balance in reasoning, everything is out of context. (Wisdom to know the difference).
Sometimes other people are responsible and we just have to "accept the things we cannot change", and move from there, leaving the blame where it is due. Acceptance is a form of moving on too.
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gingerb: I think there are many things in life, to be fair about this, the consequences of which we cannot take responsibility for.
We cannot say there is no blame, be it people or circumstances, for some things, when to say that would be a lie.
Continuing to blame people etc is not right if there IS something we can do to change things, but that is not possible in all circumstances. Some things can't be changed or made better for us, whether we blame anyone or not.
Apportioning blame, or not, is only one facet of taking responsibility for one's actions. There are many others, and without balance in reasoning, everything is out of context. (Wisdom to know the difference).
Sometimes other people are responsible and we just have to "accept the things we cannot change", and move from there, leaving the blame where it is due. Acceptance is a form of moving on too.
We cannot say there is no blame, be it people or circumstances, for some things, when to say that would be a lie.
Continuing to blame people etc is not right if there IS something we can do to change things, but that is not possible in all circumstances. Some things can't be changed or made better for us, whether we blame anyone or not.
Apportioning blame, or not, is only one facet of taking responsibility for one's actions. There are many others, and without balance in reasoning, everything is out of context. (Wisdom to know the difference).
Sometimes other people are responsible and we just have to "accept the things we cannot change", and move from there, leaving the blame where it is due. Acceptance is a form of moving on too.
Some countries promote learned helplessness more than others. That's obvious from just reading the threads. JMO
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But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in life..
Am I still blaming others?
Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.
WHAT??? OMG!!!!!!!! Does this mean "I" have to be responsible for "my" actions and "my" feelings???