hollandgirlOPSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada4,464 posts
God talks to St. Francis (I didn't write this, but I couldn't resist not sharing it with you all.)
God Talks to St. Francis: GOD: Frank , you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world isgoing on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
St. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS : Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS : Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it--sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS : Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS : No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS : Yes, Sir
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.
ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for ustonight?
ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a story about....
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
God talks to St. Francis (I didn't write this, but I couldn't resist not sharing it with you all.)
That is so clever, and so absurdly true. What idiotic things we do every day on this dear, wonderful planet of ours. It (planet) has to put up with so much!
hollandgirlOPSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada4,464 posts
venere08: God talks to St. Francis (I didn't write this, but I couldn't resist not sharing it with you all.) That is so clever, and so absurdly true. What idiotic things we do every day on this dear, wonderful planet of ours. It (planet) has to put up with so much!
Yes who ever started on the perfect garden, how much time and money has been spend to keep it perfect. Now in many places the weeds are left to stay.
Yes who ever started on the perfect garden, how much time and money has been spend to keep it perfect. Now in many places the weeds are left to stay.
That's probably why I planted my native garden at the front of my home. It goes well with the huge river red gum tree, the rainbow lorikeets, and yep, any weeds that care to join the foliage!!!
fireliter: have sent this to all that I know that are obsessed with there lawns.
Damn I hear my neighbor firing up his lawnmower, excuse while I go interupt him.. yeah the copier has ink.
When the weather warms up, after I return from holidays, I will replace all the grass, or most of it, in my backyard, with large limestone/sandstone pavers. That deals with the lawn mower issue once and for all!
hollandgirlOPSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada4,464 posts
Sommerauer71: Unlike the mainland, surrounded by water, yet a week of hot weather and a drought is announced. Why do you not pay for water.
Apologies HG, I need to know this things.
Hi, we do now pay for water but we have plenty the States wants to buy what we don't need. Canadians are one of the worsed countries for using to much water.
hollandgirlOPSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada4,464 posts
fireliter: have sent this to all that I know that are obsessed with there lawns.
Damn I hear my neighbor firing up his lawnmower, excuse while I go interupt him.. yeah the copier has ink.
Leave some copies around the neighbour hood. One in the grocery store. Yes what needless pain people have given themselves. Several parks around here are no longer using weed killers and leave the weeds alone.
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(I didn't write this, but I couldn't resist not sharing it with you all.)
God Talks to St. Francis:
GOD: Frank , you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world isgoing on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
St. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS : Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS : Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it--sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS : Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS : No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS : Yes, Sir
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.
ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for ustonight?
ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a story about....
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.