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a) protect us from more pain.
b) to keep others from seeing how bad we really are hurting.
After John and I divorced before he died in a car accident due to his drug/alcohol problems, I went to a Priest we had both gone to, (John was Catholic. We agreed to follow the Catholic Faith in our Marriage).
I let it pretty much all out, from A to Z. It was ugly. Anger, rage, despair, hurt, betrayal, loss of belief in G-d, marriage, the violence when he was drunk/high everything including my desire to revert to my Judaic roots.
I thought the Priest would be angry. . . Nope. Not at all. He was Wise. Very Wise.
He told me I would continue to work through these issues/emotion. I would take everything out look at it examine it, re-evaluate, re-weigh. When I was done, what I had found I had left is what I would cling to. It is the "refined" values, beliefs including belief in G-d that would form me for my future. These refined view points would be more defining of me for whom I would be than the pain, turmoil I was going through at that time or the past. I would also continue to do this process for the rest of my life on the 'Refined Values" as well.
He also told me there is no time frame or timetable- That was between me and G-d and it is different for every human being. The important thing was to take the time to allow myself to work through and feel all of the work being done. Not to cling to the pain or the past but to let myself feel it and work through it.
To not feel guilty for it either, just let it happen. It would be when/if I didn't let myself work through it that it would become detrimental to me.
All I can say is he helped me immensely and he was RIGHT. I encourage you to do the same. I hope this helps. Take the time and just let yourself feel and heal.