Building Walls (33)
I am a master at building walls. No one can penetrate them...even me. No one will get close to me, I won't allow it. I can be friendly with anyone...but friends to precious few.
If you can't tell if you are building or tearing down....maybe you aren't doing either. Just being cautious.
"I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That no one can penetrate.....
....I have no need of friendship
Cause friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I distain"
I am a rock
I am an island.........and a rock feels no pain
and an island never cries
If you can't tell if you are building or tearing down....maybe you aren't doing either. Just being cautious.
"I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That no one can penetrate.....
....I have no need of friendship
Cause friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I distain"
I am a rock
I am an island.........and a rock feels no pain
and an island never cries
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Being open to love does not necessarily constitute being open to a relationship..
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I am scared of heights so no climbing walls for me to break down, rather have a moot filled with water, with only me having the draw bridge to allow someone to come in.
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mcsquarepants: I'm not sure age has anything to do with it. We live in a throw away world. If something no longer makes us happy, we pitch it and get a new one. No one fixes anything or maintains anything...not even relationships.
Well said.
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bob1959: I have read several posts by cs members suggesting that a person needs to tear down "walls" in order to find love, yet I have read time and time again about people being happy, secure, or comfortable being single and even one who couldn't be bothered with a relationship. It would seem these people are building walls? I only ask this because, although I haven't been offically single that long, already I have an almost indecernable yet undeniable feeling if "don't really give a s#$T" growing in my head and frankly find ther prospect terriffing. How does one know if your building walls or tearing them down?
They don't know anything Bob, but there seems to be lots of psychologist out there ready to tell us when we have have a problem and we don't. The individual who suggest that an individual is building walls is usually the one that can't get to you to have their way with you, that's how I interpret it. There are lots of others that will get along just fine with you whether you are interested in a relationship or not.
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I agree..walls are our protection from pain...the more pain we endure the thicker they become...and I know I have said I couldn't be bothered with a relationship...and that's true...but at the same time...it means I am not ready to let someone else in or to get close enough to cause more pain....I am happy and content in my life and with who I am...which means I feel secure being me....my walls are not thick anymore because I have worked on tearing them down on my own for several years...because where the responsibility lies with each individual to deal with their own pain...nobody else can tear down your walls...but they can love you and support you enough to make you want to tear them down yourself to allow them to fully penetrate your heart.....but also at the same time with hurt...my wall erects itself fairly quickly until such time as I have dealt with whatever pain has touched me...but it remains until I choose for it to go....which I haven't fully done yet because I am still on the fence about whether I want to open up and let someone get that close again!!!!
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Hugz_n_Kissez: I agree..walls are our protection from pain...the more pain we endure the thicker they become...and I know I have said I couldn't be bothered with a relationship...and that's true...but at the same time...it means I am not ready to let someone else in or to get close enough to cause more pain....I am happy and content in my life and with who I am...which means I feel secure being me....my walls are not thick anymore because I have worked on tearing them down on my own for several years...because where the responsibility lies with each individual to deal with their own pain...nobody else can tear down your walls...but they can love you and support you enough to make you want to tear them down yourself to allow them to fully penetrate your heart.....but also at the same time with hurt...my wall erects itself fairly quickly until such time as I have dealt with whatever pain has touched me...but it remains until I choose for it to go....which I haven't fully done yet because I am still on the fence about whether I want to open up and let someone get that close again!!!!
Good Post!Just never do like I did this last time and totally enclose your self inside walls and forget to leave a air hole
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I am guilty of putting up walls. I always keep my guard up until I feel more comfortable with people. I am selective with whom I try to get to know!!
People do try to walk all over me and but I refuse to let.
People do try to walk all over me and but I refuse to let.
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mylifewithu: Good Post!
Just never do like I did this last time and totally enclose your self inside walls and forget to leave a air hole
Just never do like I did this last time and totally enclose your self inside walls and forget to leave a air hole
Been there done that...almost suffocated...not going there again...if I do..at least I can see it within a day or so...and take the proper measures...like saying...helllllllllooooooooo...wake up....get with the program!!!!!
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mastic55: I think when we want change in our lives we know what to do.
That's so true...
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Hugz_n_Kissez: Been there done that...almost suffocated...not going there again...if I do..at least I can see it within a day or so...and take the proper measures...like saying...helllllllllooooooooo...wake up....get with the program!!!!!
I learned my lesson to , any man I find now will have to learn that I will take my time knowing them as a friend first and no more getting too close too soon for me. ------ This thread is Archived ------
mylifewithu: I learned my lesson to , any man I find now will have to learn that I will take my time knowing them as a friend first and no more getting too close too soon for me.
Yep...I hear ya....
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a) protect us from more pain.
b) to keep others from seeing how bad we really are hurting.
After John and I divorced before he died in a car accident due to his drug/alcohol problems, I went to a Priest we had both gone to, (John was Catholic. We agreed to follow the Catholic Faith in our Marriage).
I let it pretty much all out, from A to Z. It was ugly. Anger, rage, despair, hurt, betrayal, loss of belief in G-d, marriage, the violence when he was drunk/high everything including my desire to revert to my Judaic roots.
I thought the Priest would be angry. . . Nope. Not at all. He was Wise. Very Wise.
He told me I would continue to work through these issues/emotion. I would take everything out look at it examine it, re-evaluate, re-weigh. When I was done, what I had found I had left is what I would cling to. It is the "refined" values, beliefs including belief in G-d that would form me for my future. These refined view points would be more defining of me for whom I would be than the pain, turmoil I was going through at that time or the past. I would also continue to do this process for the rest of my life on the 'Refined Values" as well.
He also told me there is no time frame or timetable- That was between me and G-d and it is different for every human being. The important thing was to take the time to allow myself to work through and feel all of the work being done. Not to cling to the pain or the past but to let myself feel it and work through it.
To not feel guilty for it either, just let it happen. It would be when/if I didn't let myself work through it that it would become detrimental to me.
All I can say is he helped me immensely and he was RIGHT. I encourage you to do the same. I hope this helps. Take the time and just let yourself feel and heal.