arranged marriage,yes or not? (50)
In todays times, nope .. I wouldnt recommend an arranged marriage to anyone.
The maount of exposure to the outside world thats available even in small towns , many people no longer feel that the choice made by their parents is gonig to be the best one. Besides, if eventually there is less or no compatibility , its sad for both partners , not to mention the society and family pressure to work things out whether or not you want to.
So its best to be cautious and make an informed decision whom you would like to settle down with so that tommorow the only person who is responsible for the outcome are the 2 people involved.
The maount of exposure to the outside world thats available even in small towns , many people no longer feel that the choice made by their parents is gonig to be the best one. Besides, if eventually there is less or no compatibility , its sad for both partners , not to mention the society and family pressure to work things out whether or not you want to.
So its best to be cautious and make an informed decision whom you would like to settle down with so that tommorow the only person who is responsible for the outcome are the 2 people involved.
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Marriage is hard enough when you pick your own partner! Could you imagine some one else selecting your spouse, lover, and companion.
I can't, but maybe they would have more success than me
I can't, but maybe they would have more success than me
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countrygirl62: Marriage is hard enough when you pick your own partner! Could you imagine some one else selecting your spouse, lover, and companion.
I can't, but maybe they would have more success than me
I can't, but maybe they would have more success than me
I guess most of us here picked the wrong one or ones in our past.
Maybe someone else would do a better job than us lol
Hmmmm! maybe I should that a go
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Interesting post Steveno
And my spontaneous reaction was to reply to jpunks post above with the words that I would bet one of my nuts that it actually works, and works well in many cultures.
Now, I too was thinking divorce rate, and that I suspected the divorce rate in these cultures were lower than in our western drive-through marriages, with an expire-date and one booked date for divorce already printed on the marriage certificate as we exit.
But divorce rate doesn’t really tell you what you really want to know when this question is asked, does it? Like the wise man once said; “statistics is like a bikini, it reveals plenty, but never the most important.
The rate valid here is “happiness rate. “
Arranged marriages and difficulty to get a divorce goes kind of hand in hand.
In cultures where there are arranged marriages, it is a greater wrong to divorce, a giant step, compared to our Happy Meal wedding rings on this side of the street.
People tend to endure much more and longer periods of strain in the relationship in the cultures with arranged marriages. Some forced to, no doubt, but not all of them are.
One need go no further than Europe and compare a Catholic culture, where the church is very clear about divorces (for instance, once you have divorced your are not allowed to get married in church again, unless very special circumstance) and compare to a more liberate society, not as influenced by religion in daily life, such as Sweden where I live.
Check out these numbers:
Number of divorces per 100 new marriages in 2001 (couldn't find more up to date numbers).
I have put a star in front of some of the countries here which are mostly Catholic. Now, compare with such countries as Belgium, Netherlands, Sweden, United Kingdom.
Austria: 60
Belgium: 70
Bulgaria: 32
* Croatia: 21
Cyprus: 11
Czech Rep: 60
Denmark: 40
Estonia: 76
Finland: 55
France: 39
Denmark: 51
Greece: 20
Hungary: 56
* Ireland: 15
* Italy: 15
Latvia: 62
Lithuania: 70
Luxembourg: 52
Netherlands: 47
* Poland: 23
* Portugal: 32
Romania: 24
Slovakia: 41
* Slovenia: 33
* Spain: 19
Sweden: 59
United Kingdom: 53
Are married people in Italy happier than married people in UK? Impossible to say.
What I dare guess is that people in UK give in a lot easier, call it quits much sooner, don’t fight as much to save a marriage, like those in Italy.
Which of course is a load of croak if you look at the statistics again and find they only show divorce rate, they don’t tell you what the culture of marriage is, maybe people in UK marry much sooner, on a Las Vegas whim, while those in Italy delay it and wait until they’re sure, thus break up before they’re married and no divorce is registered.
What the hell do I know? I’m not wiser now. All I can say is that I don’t think arranged marriages are a totally bad occurrence, but I wouldn’t trust my father arranging a bride. He’d get me three, and I have my hands full with one.
And my spontaneous reaction was to reply to jpunks post above with the words that I would bet one of my nuts that it actually works, and works well in many cultures.
Now, I too was thinking divorce rate, and that I suspected the divorce rate in these cultures were lower than in our western drive-through marriages, with an expire-date and one booked date for divorce already printed on the marriage certificate as we exit.
But divorce rate doesn’t really tell you what you really want to know when this question is asked, does it? Like the wise man once said; “statistics is like a bikini, it reveals plenty, but never the most important.
The rate valid here is “happiness rate. “
Arranged marriages and difficulty to get a divorce goes kind of hand in hand.
In cultures where there are arranged marriages, it is a greater wrong to divorce, a giant step, compared to our Happy Meal wedding rings on this side of the street.
People tend to endure much more and longer periods of strain in the relationship in the cultures with arranged marriages. Some forced to, no doubt, but not all of them are.
One need go no further than Europe and compare a Catholic culture, where the church is very clear about divorces (for instance, once you have divorced your are not allowed to get married in church again, unless very special circumstance) and compare to a more liberate society, not as influenced by religion in daily life, such as Sweden where I live.
Check out these numbers:
Number of divorces per 100 new marriages in 2001 (couldn't find more up to date numbers).
I have put a star in front of some of the countries here which are mostly Catholic. Now, compare with such countries as Belgium, Netherlands, Sweden, United Kingdom.
Austria: 60
Belgium: 70
Bulgaria: 32
* Croatia: 21
Cyprus: 11
Czech Rep: 60
Denmark: 40
Estonia: 76
Finland: 55
France: 39
Denmark: 51
Greece: 20
Hungary: 56
* Ireland: 15
* Italy: 15
Latvia: 62
Lithuania: 70
Luxembourg: 52
Netherlands: 47
* Poland: 23
* Portugal: 32
Romania: 24
Slovakia: 41
* Slovenia: 33
* Spain: 19
Sweden: 59
United Kingdom: 53
Are married people in Italy happier than married people in UK? Impossible to say.
What I dare guess is that people in UK give in a lot easier, call it quits much sooner, don’t fight as much to save a marriage, like those in Italy.
Which of course is a load of croak if you look at the statistics again and find they only show divorce rate, they don’t tell you what the culture of marriage is, maybe people in UK marry much sooner, on a Las Vegas whim, while those in Italy delay it and wait until they’re sure, thus break up before they’re married and no divorce is registered.
What the hell do I know? I’m not wiser now. All I can say is that I don’t think arranged marriages are a totally bad occurrence, but I wouldn’t trust my father arranging a bride. He’d get me three, and I have my hands full with one.
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The "happiness rate" is truly the indicator here....
...but that is something we'll never really know. How do you measure it and then compare cultures? 
...but that is something we'll never really know. How do you measure it and then compare cultures? ------ This thread is Archived ------
Karma3: In India, arranged marriages are still the norm with a pretty high success rate. Yes, a lot of the time the unions are about business ties and keeping the wealth within the community. Sad but true, child marriages are still prevalent in remote parts of the country - a boy and girl of about 6-8 years are married; the girl remains with her family till she reaches puberty and then is sent off to her husband.
So whether it is a social evil or not, really depends on one's perspective.
So whether it is a social evil or not, really depends on one's perspective.
I think it also depends greatly on the 'get out clause' too - if a girl is unhappy with this situation she should have her wishes heard without it being a matter of bringing shame to the familys honour - thats nothing but emotional blackmail.........
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constanza: The "happiness rate" is truly the indicator here.... ...but that is something we'll never really know. How do you measure it and then compare cultures?
I recently returned from Italy. They couldn't possibly have much time to hate each other. Most of them have such a ridiculous sense of humor, I spent most of my time laughing whenever I visited just about anyone there! That's why I want to return again early next year!
Oh, and they're also too busy fighting over politics and soccer, to think of divorce!
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constanza: The "happiness rate" is truly the indicator here.... ...but that is something we'll never really know. How do you measure it and then compare cultures?
Impossible, but that's the only true measure which can answer this question.
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venere08: I recently returned from Italy. They couldn't possibly have much time to hate each other. Most of them have such a ridiculous sense of humor, I spent most of my time laughing whenever I visited just about anyone there! That's why I want to return again early next year!
Oh, and they're also too busy fighting over politics and soccer, to think of divorce!
Oh, and they're also too busy fighting over politics and soccer, to think of divorce!
Was that a hint to bump up another thread
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venere08: I recently returned from Italy. They couldn't possibly have much time to hate each other. Most of them have such a ridiculous sense of humor, I spent most of my time laughing whenever I visited just about anyone there! That's why I want to return again early next year!
Oh, and they're also too busy fighting over politics and soccer, to think of divorce!
Oh, and they're also too busy fighting over politics and soccer, to think of divorce!
P.S. Also, they don't seem to ever bottle things up. They would rather have an out and out argument, get it over with, and get on with living.
Oh, in addition to above, they seem to be extremely tolerant of each other's quirks.
and busy doing.....
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venere08: I recently returned from Italy. They couldn't possibly have much time to hate each other. Most of them have such a ridiculous sense of humor, I spent most of my time laughing whenever I visited just about anyone there! That's why I want to return again early next year!
Oh, and they're also too busy fighting over politics and soccer, to think of divorce!
Oh, and they're also too busy fighting over politics and soccer, to think of divorce!
I find myself drawn to Italy for those same reasons you mentioned and the good food.
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omurchu22: Was that a hint to bump up another thread .........
You are most welcome to make suggestions. Got any ideas?
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PietroPaoloV: Interesting post Steveno
And my spontaneous reaction was to reply to jpunks post above with the words that I would bet one of my nuts that it actually works, and works well in many cultures.
Now, I too was thinking divorce rate, and that I suspected the divorce rate in these cultures were lower than in our western drive-through marriages, with an expire-date and one booked date for divorce already printed on the marriage certificate as we exit.
But divorce rate doesn’t really tell you what you really want to know when this question is asked, does it? Like the wise man once said; “statistics is like a bikini, it reveals plenty, but never the most important.
The rate valid here is “happiness rate. “
Arranged marriages and difficulty to get a divorce goes kind of hand in hand.
In cultures where there are arranged marriages, it is a greater wrong to divorce, a giant step, compared to our Happy Meal wedding rings on this side of the street.
People tend to endure much more and longer periods of strain in the relationship in the cultures with arranged marriages. Some forced to, no doubt, but not all of them are.
One need go no further than Europe and compare a Catholic culture, where the church is very clear about divorces (for instance, once you have divorced your are not allowed to get married in church again, unless very special circumstance) and compare to a more liberate society, not as influenced by religion in daily life, such as Sweden where I live.
Check out these numbers:
Number of divorces per 100 new marriages in 2001 (couldn't find more up to date numbers).
I have put a star in front of some of the countries here which are mostly Catholic. Now, compare with such countries as Belgium, Netherlands, Sweden, United Kingdom.
Austria: 60
Belgium: 70
Bulgaria: 32
* Croatia: 21
Cyprus: 11
Czech Rep: 60
Denmark: 40
Estonia: 76
Finland: 55
France: 39
Denmark: 51
Greece: 20
Hungary: 56
* Ireland: 15
* Italy: 15
Latvia: 62
Lithuania: 70
Luxembourg: 52
Netherlands: 47
* Poland: 23
* Portugal: 32
Romania: 24
Slovakia: 41
* Slovenia: 33
* Spain: 19
Sweden: 59
United Kingdom: 53
Are married people in Italy happier than married people in UK? Impossible to say.
What I dare guess is that people in UK give in a lot easier, call it quits much sooner, don’t fight as much to save a marriage, like those in Italy.
Which of course is a load of croak if you look at the statistics again and find they only show divorce rate, they don’t tell you what the culture of marriage is, maybe people in UK marry much sooner, on a Las Vegas whim, while those in Italy delay it and wait until they’re sure, thus break up before they’re married and no divorce is registered.
What the hell do I know? I’m not wiser now. All I can say is that I don’t think arranged marriages are a totally bad occurrence, but I wouldn’t trust my father arranging a bride. He’d get me three, and I have my hands full with one.
And my spontaneous reaction was to reply to jpunks post above with the words that I would bet one of my nuts that it actually works, and works well in many cultures.
Now, I too was thinking divorce rate, and that I suspected the divorce rate in these cultures were lower than in our western drive-through marriages, with an expire-date and one booked date for divorce already printed on the marriage certificate as we exit.
But divorce rate doesn’t really tell you what you really want to know when this question is asked, does it? Like the wise man once said; “statistics is like a bikini, it reveals plenty, but never the most important.
The rate valid here is “happiness rate. “
Arranged marriages and difficulty to get a divorce goes kind of hand in hand.
In cultures where there are arranged marriages, it is a greater wrong to divorce, a giant step, compared to our Happy Meal wedding rings on this side of the street.
People tend to endure much more and longer periods of strain in the relationship in the cultures with arranged marriages. Some forced to, no doubt, but not all of them are.
One need go no further than Europe and compare a Catholic culture, where the church is very clear about divorces (for instance, once you have divorced your are not allowed to get married in church again, unless very special circumstance) and compare to a more liberate society, not as influenced by religion in daily life, such as Sweden where I live.
Check out these numbers:
Number of divorces per 100 new marriages in 2001 (couldn't find more up to date numbers).
I have put a star in front of some of the countries here which are mostly Catholic. Now, compare with such countries as Belgium, Netherlands, Sweden, United Kingdom.
Austria: 60
Belgium: 70
Bulgaria: 32
* Croatia: 21
Cyprus: 11
Czech Rep: 60
Denmark: 40
Estonia: 76
Finland: 55
France: 39
Denmark: 51
Greece: 20
Hungary: 56
* Ireland: 15
* Italy: 15
Latvia: 62
Lithuania: 70
Luxembourg: 52
Netherlands: 47
* Poland: 23
* Portugal: 32
Romania: 24
Slovakia: 41
* Slovenia: 33
* Spain: 19
Sweden: 59
United Kingdom: 53
Are married people in Italy happier than married people in UK? Impossible to say.
What I dare guess is that people in UK give in a lot easier, call it quits much sooner, don’t fight as much to save a marriage, like those in Italy.
Which of course is a load of croak if you look at the statistics again and find they only show divorce rate, they don’t tell you what the culture of marriage is, maybe people in UK marry much sooner, on a Las Vegas whim, while those in Italy delay it and wait until they’re sure, thus break up before they’re married and no divorce is registered.
What the hell do I know? I’m not wiser now. All I can say is that I don’t think arranged marriages are a totally bad occurrence, but I wouldn’t trust my father arranging a bride. He’d get me three, and I have my hands full with one.
Hi pietro Palov, you’re post is also an Interesting one...
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well I've had four marriages...I wished someone else could have arranged my love life...I didn't do very well!!
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Why did you marry the 3rd and the 4th time, ship?
The question is not intended to mock or anything. I'm genuinely curious.
Easy for me to sit here and say since I’ve never been married, but after two tries I think I wouldn’t have mustered more wedding arrangements of any sort. She wants to be with me, fine, if it requires a wedding to be with me and doesn’t want to hear where I’m coming from, I reckon it might be a good sign we’re not compatible enough.
The question is not intended to mock or anything. I'm genuinely curious.
Easy for me to sit here and say since I’ve never been married, but after two tries I think I wouldn’t have mustered more wedding arrangements of any sort. She wants to be with me, fine, if it requires a wedding to be with me and doesn’t want to hear where I’m coming from, I reckon it might be a good sign we’re not compatible enough.
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PietroPaoloV: Why did you marry the 3rd and the 4th time, ship?
The question is not intended to mock or anything. I'm genuinely curious.
Easy for me to sit here and say since I’ve never been married, but after two tries I think I wouldn’t have mustered more wedding arrangements of any sort. She wants to be with me, fine, if it requires a wedding to be with me and doesn’t want to hear where I’m coming from, I reckon it might be a good sign we’re not compatible enough.
The question is not intended to mock or anything. I'm genuinely curious.
Easy for me to sit here and say since I’ve never been married, but after two tries I think I wouldn’t have mustered more wedding arrangements of any sort. She wants to be with me, fine, if it requires a wedding to be with me and doesn’t want to hear where I’m coming from, I reckon it might be a good sign we’re not compatible enough.
A couple of boring weekends....nothing else to do!!
PLUS!! Practice akes perfect!!
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shipoker58: well I've had four marriages...I wished someone else could have arranged my love life...I didn't do very well!!
Ummm...we've been to the altar the same amount of times, apparently, Ship.
I think whether or not an arranged marriage is right for someone depends on their culture and themselves. Whether or not it makes a better and happier marriage, I have no idea because I don't have any personal experience with it, nor any close friends who have had one of those.
I agree with some who've posted previously here...maybe my parents would have made a better choice than the ones I've made, but who knows?
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weird
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Karma3: Would you like someone from here??
I would!!!!
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The latest trend in arranged marriages is selecting a suitable spouse through the Internet. Individuals submit their profile on various matrimonial websites to find an appropriate match. They may get in touch with that person on the phone or through email to develop a cordial relationship.
Arranged marriage is a convenient form of marriage as it is based on religious, educational, and financial compatibility. Parents are usually happy as the marriage bears their seal of approval. Many parents arrange a marriage as a business strategy to grow and expand their business. Property matters can be a very influential factor in arranged marriages. However, these marriages may fail as the relationship is need based and most people have accepted this option only because they failed in love or were unable to find the love of their life on their own.
Statistics suggest that the divorce rate in arranged marriages is comparatively low. There are several instances of couples that have madly fallen in love with each other after they had an arranged marriage.[/quote
I agree with pretty much everything you have said so far except for one thing......all those parameters do not guarantee you will actually fall in love with the person.