Nico: computer wiz... and mad Greek,
Lady’s man, and part-time actor, has a shot of him with Nicolas Cage to prove it...,
He’s the Captain of the cafe...
His mantra: if anything bad happens to you, after 5 minutes, wash it down with a cup of coffee, [which Philemon, his trusted African servant has to cook-up]forget about it and get on with life...

Andreas: ugly old cudgel with a heart of gold,
There’s always a cigarette dangling from his mouth,
He’s always buying or selling some diamond mine on the dark continent, and do you want in on the deal...???
Has, a glorious case of paranoia, he encrypts his every email,
His mantra: Google is out to get you...[he’s got more firewalls on his computer than Bill Gates has dollars in the bank..., well, er, almost, har, har...]

Andigoni: alluring Hellene beauty, of the Pisces persuasion,
Want the latest on processed food-scams, shady Aloe Vera manufacturers,
And contaminated aspirin packets? She’s your man...,
And, sometimes, she was my woman,
Sometimes? Yeah, I know it’s complicated...
Her mantra: if it’s not Certified Organic don’t touch it...

Hansie: as far as hard-nosed Afrikaners[you know, the white-supremacist apartheid types...], they don’t come any tougher,
Want a 45? He’s your man, and never mind the licence bit...,
He lucidly tells you how he’s been carrying one since he was 6, and luckily[for the cop, that is...] no dumb cop ever caught him yet...,
Got trouble with the law? No problem, he’ll break into Sing Sing to help you out...
His mantra: eat as much as you can, you never know where your next meal is coming from...

Archimedes and Leonidas: two brothers aged 9 and 11, they’re the Captain’s kids...,
They should have been named Cain and Abel, cause they’re the closest thing I’ve seen to ‘Cain slaughtering Abel’, except in this case, ‘Abel’ gave as good as he got,
I was having lunch with them and Lulu, their Mom[the Captain’s ex-wife] one day at the local Hellene sports club...,
Suddenly and for no apparent reason at all, Archimedes clobbers Leonidas on the ear,
In response, Leonidas grabs one of the cutlery implements and stabs his brother in the hand...,
The pandemonium that followed with all the ‘nice-and-proper’ Greek ladies in attendance was legendary...
Their mantra: “I’ll kill you...”

Lulu: the Captain’s ex-wife...
Terrific Greek Dancer, brainy Aquarian and chain-smoker...,
She and I downed many a glass of cabernet sauvignon together...,
That’s all, honest, after all, she was the Captain’s wife, ‘ex’ does not cut it with Greeks...,
Although the captain would ask her every now and then, so, have you and that nice Dr P fella got your act right yet?
Her mantra: “I can’t wait to leave this dump...”, which she finally did, and she’s far happier now,
Rumour has it she’s anchored on some exotic Greek isle...,
Vaya con Dios Lulu...