Don’t drop me in it if you see my wife,
don’t tell her where you saw me yesterday.
I know you wouldn’t want to cause me strife,
and if you told her, there’d be hell to pay,

I wasn’t doing anything improper,
but even so, she wouldn’t understand.
Once she starts there is no way to stop her.
When she loses it things soon get out of hand.

I am aware of how it looked and what you’re thinking,
but what you thought it was, well it was not
No doubt you just assumed that I’d been drinking
when you thought you saw me doing you know what.

I’m glad we’ve had this chance to sort this out,
and that my side of the story has been put.
So now you know there’s nothing to make a fuss about,
I’m relying on you to keep your big mouth shut.

So thanks a lot for this, you won’t regret it.
Oh, and that twenty quid you owe me, let’s just forget it.