Last Poem (Two versions)

I dreamt that I had penned my final poetic verse
Like a petal
That fell to the ground
That had floated around the Universe
Looking for somewhere
Perhaps to rest its weary head
Or a leaf, twisting and turning
Distraught in its final journey
Seeking solace in grounds bitter welcoming
So, unlike all the trees
I envisaged the finality of life’s falling grace
Like them, my history would leave no trace
But when the Lion roars
Because it failed to catch the Boars
Then it would seek
To come again on another day
For nature has no reasoning
To ever understand the meaning of finality
For what may be relinquished today?
Tomorrow anew will find time to replay
But I will not weep
For knowledge of mortalities sleep
But how I do envy them their ignorance
To live with no penance
For what I know to be the truth
That is left untold
To all the trees and the majestic Lion
Therefore I shall continue to write,
Until I know I will meet my Zion



Last Poem
I dreamt that I had penned my final poetic verse
Like a petal
That fell to the ground
That had floated around the Universe
Looking for somewhere
Perhaps to rest its weary head
Or a leaf
Twisting and turning
Distraught in its final journey
Seeking solace in grounds bitter welcoming
So, like all the trees
I envisaged the final felling
Left with a story not for the telling
But when the Lion roars
Because it failed to catch the Boars
Then it would seek
To come again on another day
For nature has no reasoning
To ever understand the meaning of finality
For to it
What may be relinquished today?
Tomorrow anew will find time to play
But I will not weep
For what I know to be the truth
That is left untold
To all the trees and the majestic Lion
Therefore I shall continue
To write, until I meet my Zion
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2010
About this poem:
The understanding of mortality, I sent versions to friends who came back with their favourite version, yes and they differed. personally I dont know which i prefer??.

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Comments (29)

agoodguy2have
i think overall i prefer the 1st (top) version, comparing side by side, both have merit of voice, but to my eyes the 1st says what I believe you're trying to get at more clearly for me, "my history would leave no trace" clear, "But how I do envy them their ignorance" yes, i agree. Welcome back Rob ;-)
jazzy75
Rob, both poems are well written and have slightly different meanings for me...in the second version more is left open to the interpretation of the reader. In the first version the message is a little more concrete. But I like them both :)hug
Earlgreytea
I enjoyed both very much, Rob, thanks...
paloma66
Both are well penned Rob,hard to decide,I love your work,I'm a big fan of yours.Thanks Rob.

bouquet hug
Pinkpoetress
Rob,
I think they are both wonderful poems. I could not decide upon one or the other. Thanks for sharing. Take care.
caroljoyce
Liked them both, no real difference for me.
madtat29
Solid poems rob...drinking
hedistuff
'...so unlike, all the trees...' I loved that passage...thanks rob...
trurorob
Thanks Dave, glad you liked them both!
rob
Happygolucky4uonline today!
laugh A bogo (buy one get one) I loved them both. But the first one captivated me. You are on a roll conversing I don't think there is a last one on the horizonbouquet
royester24
beautifull poems
with much thought put in to them.may
our final destination
be one of love peace and joy.handshake
trurorob
Thanks Jazzy, I think the first one suits your style better!
rob
trurorob
Thanks Earl, forever the diplomat!
rob
trurorob
Thank you Paloma my friend!
rob
Redex
Loved the second that rang better for me thankyou for sharinghandshake
trurorob
Thank you PinkP, hope you are well!!
rob
Ladybee42
the first one!..i have no idea why, i read them both over and over and always the first one seems to have no sharp edges, no unattended pathways..laugh nah, just gravitate to the first one for some strange cosmic reason!..love it anyway..applause bouquet
trurorob
Thanks Carol, glad you liked them both
rob
trurorob
Thanks Madtat
rob
boyshchrm6
Liked them both Rob...as you do nothing Mediocre.
I vote for the first top one though...not sure why?
Perhaps because the first I read or perhaps slightly
better flow.thumbs up angel applause cheers
trurorob
Thanks Hedistuff
rob
trurorob
Thank you Quentin M
rob
trurorob
Thanks Sherri
rob
trurorob
Thanks PD, be well
rob
trurorob
Thank you Bee
rob
trurorob
Thank you Redex
rob
trurorob
Thanks Larry
rob
purpledragonfly
The first gets my first vote because I feel it is more powerful a read, but then the second gets my vote because it is a read not dissimilar to the first, yet it has not the same power although the meaning is not different.doh laugh conversing wave
trurorob
Thank you PDF!
rob
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