I dreamt that I had penned my final poetic verse Like a petal That fell to the ground That had floated around the Universe Looking for somewhere Perhaps to rest its weary head Or a leaf, twisting and turning Distraught in its final journey Seeking solace in grounds bitter welcoming So, unlike all the trees I envisaged the finality of life’s falling grace Like them, my history would leave no trace But when the Lion roars Because it failed to catch the Boars Then it would seek To come again on another day For nature has no reasoning To ever understand the meaning of finality For what may be relinquished today? Tomorrow anew will find time to replay But I will not weep For knowledge of mortalities sleep But how I do envy them their ignorance To live with no penance For what I know to be the truth That is left untold To all the trees and the majestic Lion Therefore I shall continue to write, Until I know I will meet my Zion
Last Poem I dreamt that I had penned my final poetic verse Like a petal That fell to the ground That had floated around the Universe Looking for somewhere Perhaps to rest its weary head Or a leaf Twisting and turning Distraught in its final journey Seeking solace in grounds bitter welcoming So, like all the trees I envisaged the final felling Left with a story not for the telling But when the Lion roars Because it failed to catch the Boars Then it would seek To come again on another day For nature has no reasoning To ever understand the meaning of finality For to it What may be relinquished today? Tomorrow anew will find time to play But I will not weep For what I know to be the truth That is left untold To all the trees and the majestic Lion Therefore I shall continue To write, until I meet my Zion
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Posted: May 2010
About this poem:
The understanding of mortality, I sent versions to friends who came back with their favourite version, yes and they differed. personally I dont know which i prefer??.
i think overall i prefer the 1st (top) version, comparing side by side, both have merit of voice, but to my eyes the 1st says what I believe you're trying to get at more clearly for me, "my history would leave no trace" clear, "But how I do envy them their ignorance" yes, i agree. Welcome back Rob ;-)
Rob, both poems are well written and have slightly different meanings for me...in the second version more is left open to the interpretation of the reader. In the first version the message is a little more concrete. But I like them both :)
EarlgreyteaLimassol, CyprusMay 26, 2010
I enjoyed both very much, Rob, thanks...
paloma66Manukau, Auckland New ZealandMay 26, 2010
Both are well penned Rob,hard to decide,I love your work,I'm a big fan of yours.Thanks Rob.
PinkpoetressClarksburg, West Virginia USAMay 26, 2010
Rob, I think they are both wonderful poems. I could not decide upon one or the other. Thanks for sharing. Take care.
caroljoyceManchester, Greater Manchester, England UKMay 26, 2010
the first one!..i have no idea why, i read them both over and over and always the first one seems to have no sharp edges, no unattended pathways.. nah, just gravitate to the first one for some strange cosmic reason!..love it anyway..
Liked them both Rob...as you do nothing Mediocre. I vote for the first top one though...not sure why? Perhaps because the first I read or perhaps slightly better flow.
purpledragonflyLeeds, West Yorkshire, England UKAug 24, 2011
The first gets my first vote because I feel it is more powerful a read, but then the second gets my vote because it is a read not dissimilar to the first, yet it has not the same power although the meaning is not different.
Comments (29)
I think they are both wonderful poems. I could not decide upon one or the other. Thanks for sharing. Take care.
rob
with much thought put in to them.may
our final destination
be one of love peace and joy.
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I vote for the first top one though...not sure why?
Perhaps because the first I read or perhaps slightly
better flow.
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