Raise your hand if you've ever been the "other" man/woman in a relationship (20)
How did you find out about it? Were you found out? How did you feel about it?
At age 18 I hooked up with a waitress at the Western Sizzlen while working away from home out in West Texas. She came over to my hotel room, and promptly after doing the do she said something like, "Well, I should get going...My husband isn't very good at watching the kids."
I was shocked, but I didn't really care all that much. In that case I got benefits without having any consequences.
At age 18 I hooked up with a waitress at the Western Sizzlen while working away from home out in West Texas. She came over to my hotel room, and promptly after doing the do she said something like, "Well, I should get going...My husband isn't very good at watching the kids."
I was shocked, but I didn't really care all that much. In that case I got benefits without having any consequences.
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Wonder if she's still there Dio? And do they still have Western Sizzler's? I remember those in NC.
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NOPE...I have never been the other woman...because I refuse to be....married men and men with a s/o are completely off limits for me....I don't need the trouble it brings and I would never hurt another woman that way either!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have been. I knew from the beginning that he was married and did it anyway. I know it was selfish, but I was lonely and crazy in love with him. He was good looking, intelligent, in a powerful position, and I found it hard to resist him.
What I didn't realize right away is that he had a history of doing this and I wasn't anything special to him. I realized afterwards of course jsut how naive it was of me to think I could have been.
Although we were never officially caught, I think his wife knew. She made an odd comment to me once that really made me think she knew something.
Anyway, it ended. I haven't told anyone about this before, because as you can imagine, I'm not too proud of myself. I feel relieved to have finally said it and hope you all won't judge me too harshly.
What I didn't realize right away is that he had a history of doing this and I wasn't anything special to him. I realized afterwards of course jsut how naive it was of me to think I could have been.
Although we were never officially caught, I think his wife knew. She made an odd comment to me once that really made me think she knew something.
Anyway, it ended. I haven't told anyone about this before, because as you can imagine, I'm not too proud of myself. I feel relieved to have finally said it and hope you all won't judge me too harshly.
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nope!! if he's with me- he'd better be with me all the way!
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I didnt know it at the time but I was the "other one"...
Didnt find out till I was taking her home and I ask..Which house is yours and she replied...just let me out on the corner...I dont want my husband to see me getting out of your car.
Didnt find out till I was taking her home and I ask..Which house is yours and she replied...just let me out on the corner...I dont want my husband to see me getting out of your car.
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yep I was...
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Besame: I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have been. I knew from the beginning that he was married and did it anyway. I know it was selfish, but I was lonely and crazy in love with him. He was good looking, intelligent, in a powerful position, and I found it hard to resist him.
What I didn't realize right away is that he had a history of doing this and I wasn't anything special to him. I realized afterwards of course jsut how naive it was of me to think I could have been.
Although we were never officially caught, I think his wife knew. She made an odd comment to me once that really made me think she knew something.
Anyway, it ended. I haven't told anyone about this before, because as you can imagine, I'm not too proud of myself. I feel relieved to have finally said it and hope you all won't judge me too harshly.
What I didn't realize right away is that he had a history of doing this and I wasn't anything special to him. I realized afterwards of course jsut how naive it was of me to think I could have been.
Although we were never officially caught, I think his wife knew. She made an odd comment to me once that really made me think she knew something.
Anyway, it ended. I haven't told anyone about this before, because as you can imagine, I'm not too proud of myself. I feel relieved to have finally said it and hope you all won't judge me too harshly.
Live and learn darlin....we all make mistakes at one time or another......
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Hugz_n_Kissez: Live and learn darlin....we all make mistakes at one time or another......
awww dont be ashamed, we all make poor decisions. I like you knew what I was getting into...but for 2 months, I didnt care I was only out to satisify myself, what i wanted, and my needs...it took the whole 2 months before I realized that my actions could ruin a marriage and a family...and my feelings and needs werent the only ones at stake...Im just glad I smartened up..
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blue_eyed_blonde: awww dont be ashamed, we all make poor decisions. I like you knew what I was getting into...but for 2 months, I didnt care I was only out to satisify myself, what i wanted, and my needs...it took the whole 2 months before I realized that my actions could ruin a marriage and a family...and my feelings and needs werent the only ones at stake...Im just glad I smartened up..
Like I said.,..live and learn....we all make mistakes.....there it nothing wrong with that and I would never judge anyone by their mistakes...it's the learning part that counts.....
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Hugz_n_Kissez: Like I said.,..live and learn....we all make mistakes.....there it nothing wrong with that and I would never judge anyone by their mistakes...it's the learning part that counts.....
oh im sure you wouldnt judge anyone like that, its not your style...however i judged myself hard enough for many ppl...but im good now..
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blue_eyed_blonde: oh im sure you wouldnt judge anyone like that, its not your style...however i judged myself hard enough for many ppl...but im good now.. but you made it easier to acknowledge on here..
I hear ya....I know I am my own worst enemy and nobody can ever be any harder on me...than I am on myself already......
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Been there done that, won't be doing it again. I have rule...
If someone hates my guts, I don't want to agree with their reason.
It serves me pretty well.
If someone hates my guts, I don't want to agree with their reason.
It serves me pretty well.
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I have never been the other woman, I have been the wife though.
Although, the woman that my husband had an affair with I have a friendship with now.
They had their affair for three years before it all came out, I asked to meet her, as she was his assistant and that was harder for her, than it was for me.
We met for lunch, she was shaking and I asked her if she was ok, she said she was afraid that I would go mad, but I asked her, did she not realise what she was doing? SHe had been to my hoouse for dinner, met my children so she knew us all and she looked me in the eye, stated that she felt the guilt but that she was in love with him, I looked back at her and stated that I knew where she was coming from as I once was too.
We have never looked back, I have never wanted revenge, she was in love with him and he her, there was nothing I could do, even though it hurt me incredibly so, but we have maintained a friendship and a respect for each other and I have forgiven them both, they have another child now, who is beautiful and is my children's half brother and that must be a relationship that should be nourished and cherished for their sakes.
Would I have still been with him, had she not come along? No, because he was unhappy with me and I was him, what I got out of that marriage were two bonuses, my adored children.
I am not of the mind that any 'other' person in a marriage is a bad person, it is a way that I choose not to live my life, I do not deserve to be second best, my friend is having an affair with a married man and I can see he feels nothing for her and he cannot leave his wife, but I see her torture, sometimes I want to shake her out of it. sometimes I want to hug her, because I know she is unhappy, but she has to recognise that herself and pull herself through it.
Although, the woman that my husband had an affair with I have a friendship with now.
They had their affair for three years before it all came out, I asked to meet her, as she was his assistant and that was harder for her, than it was for me.
We met for lunch, she was shaking and I asked her if she was ok, she said she was afraid that I would go mad, but I asked her, did she not realise what she was doing? SHe had been to my hoouse for dinner, met my children so she knew us all and she looked me in the eye, stated that she felt the guilt but that she was in love with him, I looked back at her and stated that I knew where she was coming from as I once was too.
We have never looked back, I have never wanted revenge, she was in love with him and he her, there was nothing I could do, even though it hurt me incredibly so, but we have maintained a friendship and a respect for each other and I have forgiven them both, they have another child now, who is beautiful and is my children's half brother and that must be a relationship that should be nourished and cherished for their sakes.
Would I have still been with him, had she not come along? No, because he was unhappy with me and I was him, what I got out of that marriage were two bonuses, my adored children.
I am not of the mind that any 'other' person in a marriage is a bad person, it is a way that I choose not to live my life, I do not deserve to be second best, my friend is having an affair with a married man and I can see he feels nothing for her and he cannot leave his wife, but I see her torture, sometimes I want to shake her out of it. sometimes I want to hug her, because I know she is unhappy, but she has to recognise that herself and pull herself through it.
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diogenes: How did you find out about it? Were you found out? How did you feel about it?
At age 18 I hooked up with a waitress at the Western Sizzlen while working away from home out in West Texas. She came over to my hotel room, and promptly after doing the do she said something like, "Well, I should get going...My husband isn't very good at watching the kids."
I was shocked, but I didn't really care all that much. In that case I got benefits without having any consequences.
At age 18 I hooked up with a waitress at the Western Sizzlen while working away from home out in West Texas. She came over to my hotel room, and promptly after doing the do she said something like, "Well, I should get going...My husband isn't very good at watching the kids."
I was shocked, but I didn't really care all that much. In that case I got benefits without having any consequences.
I don't believe I have ever been the other guy, but it seems that it's always the other guy that get's the girl...
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Nope I have never had a thing with anyone already in a relationship.
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Sommerauer71: I have never been the other woman, I have been the wife though.
Although, the woman that my husband had an affair with I have a friendship with now.
They had their affair for three years before it all came out, I asked to meet her, as she was his assistant and that was harder for her, than it was for me.
We met for lunch, she was shaking and I asked her if she was ok, she said she was afraid that I would go mad, but I asked her, did she not realise what she was doing? SHe had been to my hoouse for dinner, met my children so she knew us all and she looked me in the eye, stated that she felt the guilt but that she was in love with him, I looked back at her and stated that I knew where she was coming from as I once was too.
We have never looked back, I have never wanted revenge, she was in love with him and he her, there was nothing I could do, even though it hurt me incredibly so, but we have maintained a friendship and a respect for each other and I have forgiven them both, they have another child now, who is beautiful and is my children's half brother and that must be a relationship that should be nourished and cherished for their sakes.
Would I have still been with him, had she not come along? No, because he was unhappy with me and I was him, what I got out of that marriage were two bonuses, my adored children.
I am not of the mind that any 'other' person in a marriage is a bad person, it is a way that I choose not to live my life, I do not deserve to be second best, my friend is having an affair with a married man and I can see he feels nothing for her and he cannot leave his wife, but I see her torture, sometimes I want to shake her out of it. sometimes I want to hug her, because I know she is unhappy, but she has to recognise that herself and pull herself through it.
Although, the woman that my husband had an affair with I have a friendship with now.
They had their affair for three years before it all came out, I asked to meet her, as she was his assistant and that was harder for her, than it was for me.
We met for lunch, she was shaking and I asked her if she was ok, she said she was afraid that I would go mad, but I asked her, did she not realise what she was doing? SHe had been to my hoouse for dinner, met my children so she knew us all and she looked me in the eye, stated that she felt the guilt but that she was in love with him, I looked back at her and stated that I knew where she was coming from as I once was too.
We have never looked back, I have never wanted revenge, she was in love with him and he her, there was nothing I could do, even though it hurt me incredibly so, but we have maintained a friendship and a respect for each other and I have forgiven them both, they have another child now, who is beautiful and is my children's half brother and that must be a relationship that should be nourished and cherished for their sakes.
Would I have still been with him, had she not come along? No, because he was unhappy with me and I was him, what I got out of that marriage were two bonuses, my adored children.
I am not of the mind that any 'other' person in a marriage is a bad person, it is a way that I choose not to live my life, I do not deserve to be second best, my friend is having an affair with a married man and I can see he feels nothing for her and he cannot leave his wife, but I see her torture, sometimes I want to shake her out of it. sometimes I want to hug her, because I know she is unhappy, but she has to recognise that herself and pull herself through it.
You have a heart of gold. Now, who is that other guy beside you?! I was just beginning to 'check you out'
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Lonely1: You have a heart of gold. Now, who is that other guy beside you?! I was just beginning to 'check you out'
He is my friend's 21 year old son....
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Maybe you can help me. I am currently involved with a married man. It's confusing and difficult. He decided recently that we had to end being lovers because of the guilt he feels for not giving me more of himself and his time. He admits that he is very unhappy in his marriage but feels obligated to giving his children (young adults) all he can. Supporting two households would make that very difficult.
Now we remain as friends. We still spend time together and pursue a sporting event that we both enjoy. Of course all of this is without the physical aspect that we had before.
I'm having a very difficult time with this. How do you stop loving someone and just be a friend?
Now we remain as friends. We still spend time together and pursue a sporting event that we both enjoy. Of course all of this is without the physical aspect that we had before.
I'm having a very difficult time with this. How do you stop loving someone and just be a friend?
Sommerauer71: I have never been the other woman, I have been the wife though.
Although, the woman that my husband had an affair with I have a friendship with now.
They had their affair for three years before it all came out, I asked to meet her, as she was his assistant and that was harder for her, than it was for me.
We met for lunch, she was shaking and I asked her if she was ok, she said she was afraid that I would go mad, but I asked her, did she not realise what she was doing? SHe had been to my hoouse for dinner, met my children so she knew us all and she looked me in the eye, stated that she felt the guilt but that she was in love with him, I looked back at her and stated that I knew where she was coming from as I once was too.
We have never looked back, I have never wanted revenge, she was in love with him and he her, there was nothing I could do, even though it hurt me incredibly so, but we have maintained a friendship and a respect for each other and I have forgiven them both, they have another child now, who is beautiful and is my children's half brother and that must be a relationship that should be nourished and cherished for their sakes.
Would I have still been with him, had she not come along? No, because he was unhappy with me and I was him, what I got out of that marriage were two bonuses, my adored children.
I am not of the mind that any 'other' person in a marriage is a bad person, it is a way that I choose not to live my life, I do not deserve to be second best, my friend is having an affair with a married man and I can see he feels nothing for her and he cannot leave his wife, but I see her torture, sometimes I want to shake her out of it. sometimes I want to hug her, because I know she is unhappy, but she has to recognise that herself and pull herself through it.
Although, the woman that my husband had an affair with I have a friendship with now.
They had their affair for three years before it all came out, I asked to meet her, as she was his assistant and that was harder for her, than it was for me.
We met for lunch, she was shaking and I asked her if she was ok, she said she was afraid that I would go mad, but I asked her, did she not realise what she was doing? SHe had been to my hoouse for dinner, met my children so she knew us all and she looked me in the eye, stated that she felt the guilt but that she was in love with him, I looked back at her and stated that I knew where she was coming from as I once was too.
We have never looked back, I have never wanted revenge, she was in love with him and he her, there was nothing I could do, even though it hurt me incredibly so, but we have maintained a friendship and a respect for each other and I have forgiven them both, they have another child now, who is beautiful and is my children's half brother and that must be a relationship that should be nourished and cherished for their sakes.
Would I have still been with him, had she not come along? No, because he was unhappy with me and I was him, what I got out of that marriage were two bonuses, my adored children.
I am not of the mind that any 'other' person in a marriage is a bad person, it is a way that I choose not to live my life, I do not deserve to be second best, my friend is having an affair with a married man and I can see he feels nothing for her and he cannot leave his wife, but I see her torture, sometimes I want to shake her out of it. sometimes I want to hug her, because I know she is unhappy, but she has to recognise that herself and pull herself through it.
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11144nan: Maybe you can help me. I am currently involved with a married man. It's confusing and difficult. He decided recently that we had to end being lovers because of the guilt he feels for not giving me more of himself and his time. He admits that he is very unhappy in his marriage but feels obligated to giving his children (young adults) all he can. Supporting two households would make that very difficult.
Now we remain as friends. We still spend time together and pursue a sporting event that we both enjoy. Of course all of this is without the physical aspect that we had before.
I'm having a very difficult time with this. How do you stop loving someone and just be a friend?
Now we remain as friends. We still spend time together and pursue a sporting event that we both enjoy. Of course all of this is without the physical aspect that we had before.
I'm having a very difficult time with this. How do you stop loving someone and just be a friend?
It is simple, you don't stop loving them. I will always have deep feelings for both of my ex partners, that will remain with me, especially the father of my children.
I am sure you are having a very difficult time with it, but you know, the only way you are going to heal is by cutting the contact.
I am afraid that his reason is about his guilt around his family, not about what he can give you, that will be the case, I know that from my ex husband, he really suffered with the guilt and this guy is too. As hard as that is to read, it will be the truth, whatever he feels for you.
You will struggle, seeing him at your sporting event, you have to got to take care of you, seeing him will send you from one emotional crisis to another if you have feelings for him, which you clearly do, you will tear yourself up, so my advice is to cut the contact, then you can begin to heal, repair and move on.
Only when the wound has been cleansed, can it be dressed and allowed to heal.
I feel for you, regardless of the situation, it is an emotional investment, that you have given alot to.
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in Sex & Dating
Created: Aug 2008
Last Viewed: 6 hrs ago
Last Commented: Aug 2008
Last Voted: Feb 2018
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Raise your hand if you've ever been the "other" man/woman in a relationship(Vote Below)
At age 18 I hooked up with a waitress at the Western Sizzlen while working away from home out in West Texas. She came over to my hotel room, and promptly after doing the do she said something like, "Well, I should get going...My husband isn't very good at watching the kids."
I was shocked, but I didn't really care all that much. In that case I got benefits without having any consequences.