Is it ok for a man to use the same engagement ring with multiple women? (154)
Pom_Pom: Well, if it wasn't your ring, but his ring, I'd say he can do whatever he wants with it, he paid for it after all.
3 sides to any story
Just so no one's all confused...I have moved on...let's just pretend that it's NOT my ex I'm talking about, let's just say the average Joe...that way there's no confusion
Ccincy: Just a question why is it your concern what he does now that you're divorced?
Move on.
Move on.
Sometimes easier said then done. My ex was picking up my daughter a month or so ago, I was outside on the front porch, she was out on the street in her car with the window cracked open yelling insults at me at the top of her voice. We divorced 5 years ago cause she had been cheating on me. WTF
Harder to get rid of crazy and "move on" when there are kids involved. By the way my daughter who is 18 was quite disappointed in her mothers actions.SoonerGal: I could careless what he does with the ring, he can throw it off the tallest mountain for all I care, the whole point to this thread is if its tacky for a man to give the same ring to different women
But you did mention him.
Ccincy: But you did mention him.
yes I did because he's the one actually doing it...I'm sure there's more out there like him...geezzz all I want to know is if people think it's acceptable or not...it's a POLL for crying out loud
michael63ca: Sometimes easier said then done. My ex was picking up my daughter a month or so ago, I was outside on the front porch, she was out on the street in her car with the window cracked open yelling insults at me at the top of her voice. We divorced 5 years ago cause she had been cheating on me. WTF Harder to get rid of crazy and "move on" when there are kids involved. By the way my daughter who is 18 was quite disappointed in her mothers actions.
Regardless of whether there's kids involved some people DO make things more complicated then they really are.
It's also unfair to involve children into adult situations.Not saying you did that but it's only my opinion.
pedro27: 3 sides to any story
His/hers and the truth.
michael63ca: Sometimes easier said then done. My ex was picking up my daughter a month or so ago, I was outside on the front porch, she was out on the street in her car with the window cracked open yelling insults at me at the top of her voice. We divorced 5 years ago cause she had been cheating on me. WTF Harder to get rid of crazy and "move on" when there are kids involved. By the way my daughter who is 18 was quite disappointed in her mothers actions.
Amen!! well once you have kids with them, they never ever go away lol...my oldest is 33 and youngest 23 and now that they have started families well, the good ole ex is still around...
SoonerGal: Just so no one's all confused...I have moved on...let's just pretend that it's NOT my ex I'm talking about, let's just say the average Joe...that way there's no confusion
Ok, I'll pretend this is not about your ex. But about the average Joe...
My answer still remains, if he paid for it he can give it to 30 women if he wants to. It's not tacky IMHO.
Pom_Pom: Well, if it wasn't your ring, but his ring, I'd say he can do whatever he wants with it, he paid for it after all.
I've been reading this thread with moderate interest. A couple of things I don't understand--what is it to anyone else not directly involved, including the ex(es), AND, gentlemen, some kind, friendly advice: Do not tell your intended that the ring was originally for another woman! It is not necessary, and will cause resentment 100% of the time, guaranteed. Put the shoe on the other foot, your love gives you a beautiful watch for Christmas, telling you it was first intended for another man. Nice, huh? Some things just don't need to be explained or told. And please don't think of a man as being cheap for this; the economy is flat and corners need to be cut everywhere. If there is really love there, the price or origin of something should not be a problem. (I am not saying to give a Cracker Jack ring, however). Does anyone understand what I mean?michael63ca: Sometimes easier said then done. My ex was picking up my daughter a month or so ago, I was outside on the front porch, she was out on the street in her car with the window cracked open yelling insults at me at the top of her voice. We divorced 5 years ago cause she had been cheating on me. WTF Harder to get rid of crazy and "move on" when there are kids involved. By the way my daughter who is 18 was quite disappointed in her mothers actions.
Is it really necessary to pick up an 18 year old from the fathers home?
Can she travel alone? Or do you live in different provinces?
Ccincy: His/hers and the truth.
i learnt when ex's bash each other there is always 3 stories as u have said Ccincy hers/his/ and the truth
Hi SoonerGal, i like you and your posts very much but sorry, this is an awful story to me ! What a lack of elegance from your ex ! A true gentleman would never ask such a thing, never ever, you may have had problems together, a gift is a gift, asking it back is nothing but awful and rough.. If i was you i would send the ring through the toilets because you deserve so much better and that would slap him for such a cheap attitude ! Totally INACCEPTABLE to me, and sorry again, but i talk from my heart 
pedro27: i learnt when ex's bash each other there is always 3 stories as u have said Ccincy hers/his/ and the truth
Sometimes it can also backfire on them too.Or sometimes the kids get brought into the middle of Adult issues which is unfair to them.Children shouldn't be expected to solve Adult issues.Not saying that is happening here but it does often happen.
rohaan: I've been reading this thread with moderate interest. A couple of things I don't understand--what is it to anyone else not directly involved, including the ex(es), AND, gentlemen, some kind, friendly advice: Do not tell your intended that the ring was originally for another woman! It is not necessary, and will cause resentment 100% of the time, guaranteed. Put the shoe on the other foot, your love gives you a beautiful watch for Christmas, telling you it was first intended for another man. Nice, huh? Some things just don't need to be explained or told. And please don't think of a man as being cheap for this; the economy is flat and corners need to be cut everywhere. If there is really love there, the price or origin of something should not be a problem. (I am not saying to give a Cracker Jack ring, however). Does anyone understand what I mean?
I do.
"Some things are better left unsaid".
Pom_Pom: Is it really necessary to pick up an 18 year old from the fathers home?
Can she travel alone? Or do you live in different provinces?
Can she travel alone? Or do you live in different provinces?
My ex lives a 2 hour drive away from us. she was picking my daughter up to spend time with her. When she took off BOTH of my daughters chose to stay with me. I think that is a big part of why she is so angry.
Pom_Pom: I do.
"Some things are better left unsaid".
"Some things are better left unsaid".
Ccincy: Just a question why is it your concern what he does now that you're divorced?
Move on.
Move on.
A part of moving on can be about observing the way someone is with others and then reflecting upon how similar behaviours might have gone on previously.
If the OP finds her ex's behaviour tacky now and she can be more objective about his actions outside of the relationship, she can maybe reflect on how she came to accept this mentality into her life when she was with him. If she becomes more aware of how she thought, felt and dealt with things previously, she'll learn some stuff about where she needs to be within herself, to heal, before getting involved with someone else.
I think its a good exercise of self-exploration, more than being particularly concerned with what he's doing with his own life. Its like analysing an abusive relationship in order to grow and not get into another one.
We should all do it really, even if the relationship breakdown was completely amicable. Like a de-briefing before moving on to the next exercise.
WhistlingDixie: Yes , my post went in at the same time { Arrrrggghhhh} lol
It happens sometimes.
:)michael63ca: My ex lives a 2 hour drive away from us. she was picking my daughter up to spend time with her. When she took off BOTH of my daughters chose to stay with me. I think that is a big part of why she is so angry.
Why cant the pick up take place somewhere close by rather than your house?
michael63ca: My ex lives a 2 hour drive away from us. she was picking my daughter up to spend time with her. When she took off BOTH of my daughters chose to stay with me. I think that is a big part of why she is so angry.
Your ex sounds agressive, she reminds me of my sister, who used to put on a show everytime the father of her first daughter came to pick the kid up for the weekend.
Perhaps a third neutral party could drive your daughter back and forth, she shouldn't have to witness that awful behaviour.
Glatlol: Why cant the pick up take place somewhere close by rather than your house?
PFFFT! Who knows? My daughter is an adult now
she made the plans with her mother not me. I just won't be standing outside like that next time.michael63ca: PFFFT! Who knows? My daughter is an adult now she made the plans with her mother not me. I just won't be standing outside like that next time.
Exactly and more than capable of meeting her Mother elsewhere.
jac379: A part of moving on can be about observing the way someone is with others and then reflecting upon how similar behaviours might have gone on previously.
If the OP finds her ex's behaviour tacky now and she can be more objective about his actions outside of the relationship, she can maybe reflect on how she came to accept this mentality into her life when she was with him. If she becomes more aware of how she thought, felt and dealt with things previously, she'll learn some stuff about where she needs to be within herself, to heal, before getting involved with someone else.
I think its a good exercise of self-exploration, more than being particularly concerned with what he's doing with his own life. Its like analysing an abusive relationship in order to grow and not get into another one.
We should all do it really, even if the relationship breakdown was completely amicable. Like a de-briefing before moving on to the next exercise.
If the OP finds her ex's behaviour tacky now and she can be more objective about his actions outside of the relationship, she can maybe reflect on how she came to accept this mentality into her life when she was with him. If she becomes more aware of how she thought, felt and dealt with things previously, she'll learn some stuff about where she needs to be within herself, to heal, before getting involved with someone else.
I think its a good exercise of self-exploration, more than being particularly concerned with what he's doing with his own life. Its like analysing an abusive relationship in order to grow and not get into another one.
We should all do it really, even if the relationship breakdown was completely amicable. Like a de-briefing before moving on to the next exercise.
Very important though to look back or look at what is going on without anger. Anger is a very powerful emotion and a supporter of the 'blame game'.
jac379: A part of moving on can be about observing the way someone is with others and then reflecting upon how similar behaviours might have gone on previously.
If the OP finds her ex's behaviour tacky now and she can be more objective about his actions outside of the relationship, she can maybe reflect on how she came to accept this mentality into her life when she was with him. If she becomes more aware of how she thought, felt and dealt with things previously, she'll learn some stuff about where she needs to be within herself, to heal, before getting involved with someone else.
I think its a good exercise of self-exploration, more than being particularly concerned with what he's doing with his own life. Its like analysing an abusive relationship in order to grow and not get into another one.
We should all do it really, even if the relationship breakdown was completely amicable. Like a de-briefing before moving on to the next exercise.
If the OP finds her ex's behaviour tacky now and she can be more objective about his actions outside of the relationship, she can maybe reflect on how she came to accept this mentality into her life when she was with him. If she becomes more aware of how she thought, felt and dealt with things previously, she'll learn some stuff about where she needs to be within herself, to heal, before getting involved with someone else.
I think its a good exercise of self-exploration, more than being particularly concerned with what he's doing with his own life. Its like analysing an abusive relationship in order to grow and not get into another one.
We should all do it really, even if the relationship breakdown was completely amicable. Like a de-briefing before moving on to the next exercise.
I LOVE you line of thinking...perfectly said
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Move on.