Dumping the relationship (98)
YouMeUsFrakes, Kentucky USA11 Threads 1 Polls 3,271 Posts2intrigued: Which is? It's gone over my head...blonde moment perhaps.
That!
Ocee102: Just tell them you're not happy in the realtionship, or you're interested in seeing other people, or you don't see a future together you'd enjoy. Just tell them whatever's up for you, without blaming them or accusing them of stuff.
It's enough for people to deal with the rejection, and the loss they don't need to be trying to cope with a bunch reasons why we think they're not good enough to be with.
It's enough for people to deal with the rejection, and the loss they don't need to be trying to cope with a bunch reasons why we think they're not good enough to be with.
2intrigued: Still waiting Legs.
Haha sorry, I meant it seems to have done the trick for now. However fella is a bit of a stalker, will have to see if the trick continues to work!
Reporting back on Monday (earlier if it DIDN'T work) - please diarise
My thanks to the pollster. A most timely poll.
redmolly: Very true! But even with mails it still leaves you wondering where you went wrong.
One thing I've learned is it isn't always, or even partly, about where YOU went wrong. Men panic. They panic at the first glitch, they panic when it is getting into unfamiliar territory, they panic when they think too much will be asked of them, and they take their fears, and their insecurities, and bolt with them.
Another thing I learned, the more you try to draw away, the more they follow. Stubborn. But for all I know women are exactly the same. I have never tried to get away from a woman
redmolly: Very true! But even with mails it still leaves you wondering where you went wrong.
For sure...especially if you've established some kind of bond with that person. In cases like that, I see it as dodging a bullet.
2intrigued: For sure...especially if you've established some kind of bond with that person. In cases like that, I see it as dodging a bullet.
I've gone with "its their loss not mine" in the past
Ocee102: Just tell them you're not happy in the realtionship, or you're interested in seeing other people, or you don't see a future together you'd enjoy.Just tell them whatever's up for you, without blaming them or accusing them of stuff.
It's enough for people to with the rejection, and the loss they don't need to be trying to cope with a bunch reasons why we think they're not good enough to be with.
It's enough for people to with the rejection, and the loss they don't need to be trying to cope with a bunch reasons why we think they're not good enough to be with.
I didn't actually read the poll options...
I assumed by least painful, we were discussing least painful
for the person we're gutting.
You can imagine my embarassment.
Solamente: What is the least painful (easiest) way of dumping a relationship?
I'm not sure I can remember the last time I used the word dumped in the last 30 years. Always thought that's the word teenagers use when they hop from one relationship to another. I tend to choose my partner carefully nowadays , so I guess if the relationship ended it either fizzles out or ended by mutual agreement .
redmolly: I've gone with "its their loss not mine" in the past
Yep, that's the attitude to take with it.
2intrigued: For sure...especially if you've established some kind of bond with that person. In cases like that, I see it as dodging a bullet.
I hadn't gotten that far into it, no bonding during the letter swappings, but then that was never given the chance due to the abrupt departures. Has that happened to you, the bonding and Pthth! gone?
Ocee102: I didn't actually read the poll options...
I assumed by least painful, we were discussing least painful
for the person we're gutting.You can imagine my embarassment.
I assumed by least painful, we were discussing least painful
for the person we're gutting.You can imagine my embarassment.
Your comments are still relevant to the topic and they're meaningful...no need to feel embarrassed at all.
redmolly: I've gone with "its their loss not mine" in the past
Oh, you're a keeper? Hold on, I'll start writing to you very soon....
You won't drop me if I write, right?
YouMeUs: I hadn't gotten that far into it, no bonding during the letter swappings, but then that was never given the chance due to the abrupt departures.
Has that happened to you, the bonding and Pthth! gone?
Has that happened to you, the bonding and Pthth! gone?
I think it's a bit easier to deal with if a lot of time and sentiment hasn't been shared between two people but yes, I've gotten rather close to a few here over the 5 years I've been here and for the most part, they just fizzled out for various reasons.
2intrigued: I think it's a bit easier to deal with if a lot of time and sentiment hasn't been shared between two people but yes, I've gotten rather close to a few here over the 5 years I've been here and for the most part, they just fizzled out for various reasons.
With that, I simply fall back on there's a reason for everything. And if it was easy for them to drop and no longer write, they'd more than likely do the same after meeting up. So it's probably for the better anyway.YouMeUs: With that, I simply fall back on there's a reason for everything. And if it was easy for them to drop and no longer write, they'd more than likely do the same after meeting up. So it's probably for the better anyway.
Yep, that's why I consider it as dodging a bullet. Thing with it though is I've noticed that I tend not to allow myself to get too close to someone in fear of a repeat ya know.
I would prefer the face-to-face method.
But lots of men try to avoid confrontation of any kind (even if there isn't going to be a confrontation ), so therefore they use the 'dump by text' or the 'get her to dump them' instead method.
But lots of men try to avoid confrontation of any kind (even if there isn't going to be a confrontation ), so therefore they use the 'dump by text' or the 'get her to dump them' instead method.
2intrigued: Yep, that's why I consider it as dodging a bullet. Thing with it though is I've noticed that I tend not to allow myself to get too close to someone in fear of a repeat ya know.
But you know as well as I...just because one horse bucks you off, doesn't mean the others will. Ya gotta stick to the rodeo until you find the one you can hold onto. 
YouMeUs: But you know as well as I...just because one horse bucks you off, doesn't mean the others will. Ya gotta stick to the rodeo until you find the one you can hold onto.
It's not just one horse, it's all of them.
2intrigued: It's not just one horse, it's all of them.
Well then woman, you've just been in the wrong corral! Git yer lasso out there in another corral and catch that stallion you've been dreaming of!
MikeD12: Face to face is the most respectful way to end a relationship. Anything other method is cowardly imo.
Yes - In theory maybe but there is another view.
The discretion of complete silence is not cowardice.
IMO - It is often the best way to avoid any argument.
Just disappearing. It's horrible and very cowardly.Yes - In theory maybe but there is another view.
The discretion of complete silence is not cowardice.
IMO - It is often the best way to avoid any argument.
YouMeUs: Well then woman, you've just been in the wrong corral!
Git yer lasso out there in another corral and catch that stallion you've been dreaming of!
Git yer lasso out there in another corral and catch that stallion you've been dreaming of!
Note to self
CS is the wrong corral...choose another 
redmolly: There's one out the somewhere!!
Maybe but I ain't holding my breath.
2intrigued: Note to self CS is the wrong corral...choose another dating site corral and get beat up some more.
Nooo! Okay, let's try a different approach... Leave those Mustangs alone, they'll buck you everytime! Start aiming yer lasso at those champion steeds that are fully broken and trained.
YouMeUs: Nooo! Okay, let's try a different approach... Leave those Mustangs alone, they'll buck you everytime! Start aiming yer lasso at those champion steeds that are fully broken and trained.
Can you tell me where they reside? 
Generally, when the decision belongs to one party only, ending a relationship,is not that easy, to act civil,as depends to the reaction of your partner.
redmolly: Kentucky maybe
Kaybee50: Just disappearing. It's horrible and very cowardly.
Yes. Happened once to me. It is horrible, and it is cowardly.
We did talk, eventually, and I got to understand that he was what he was and that he thought if we talked about it I would convince him otherwise (I'm apparently more persuasive than I ever knew) and the underlying problems would still be there. I got that. I think I would have got that at the time, given the chance! Or I would have talked him round.
Who knows. I'm okay with it now. At the time it was awful.
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