can you be friends with your ex-lover? (77)
bodleing: Damn right it is!!!
Is that a confession, G?
Ambrose2007: Okay, then...here's the million dollar - well, adjusting for inflation and your currency, billion pound - question: Do you think it's possible that actively maintaining friendships with your exes might constitute a barrier to some degree to a serious romantic relationship/commitment?
Being on a friendly level is probably a better way to discribe it, for me. It's not as though we call each other up & chat for a few hours. But I do email back & forth with a few. We chat about what's going on in each of our lives, give advice, etc.
It's not causing any barriers in my current relationship. The exes are in the past & will remain there, romantically. My new guy is in the present.
Ambrose2007: Is that a confession, G?
Yep...once I was another's lover.
Now I am my own.
I have a former mother-in-law who has remained real good friends with her ex-love and husband and even after each of them remarried they've still remained real good friends to this day.They're still affecionate to one another like hugging when they see one another and inviting each other to dinner at each others homes and their new spouses don't seem to mind.My mom -in-law and her ex came to realize that they got along better not being married to one another.
bodleing: Yep...once I was another's lover.
Now I am my own.
Now I am my own.
You are one twisted puppy, G (no offense intended to the mutt).
Ambrose2007: You are one twisted puppy, G (no offense intended to the mutt).
I blame the lsd in the sixties.
goldstone: I am friends with mine.
so hows your mine?Ambrose2007: I've been reading responses like this, and I think I may be seeing a pattern here. My question is - and I don't intend this as a knock against you or Graham, this is pure Science Jeff - but is it not possible that one reason some people continue actively socializing and relying on their exes is that it's easier, both emotionally and financially - and also in terms of commitment - to have such friendships as opposed to the risk-filled, heart-rending, emotionally involving affair of attempting to develop and maintain a committed romantic relationship?
Nothing like that at all....but then again you are allowed to have your own interpretation of it....
RebeccaWYR: If you love sb very much, but somehow you break up with him/her, would you still make friends with him/her, or not?
For me, defintely no
For me, defintely no
I've done that, but let me tell u, its a hell. Will never ever repeat the mistake of being friends after a break up
That can't be!
HJFinAZ: To have a friend, one must be a friend.
indeed. "to have a friend one must be a friend"
and again so that you peoples get it.
to have a friend one must be a friend.
thx hjfinAZ. bloody well spoken
AUDRY I THOUGHT WE WERE STILL FRIENDS.
AudrysSis: I can't imagine such a situation. Since there are no lovers for me without friendship and partnership first, probably the friendship would have stopped earlier (or he wouldn't be an ex?). So I can't see how I could possibly be friends with an "ex-lover". Communicate occasionally, sure (if there is a need for it), but friends...?
I broke it off with my girlfriend and we remain friends to this day, we both knew the relationship wasn't going to work and the break up was without malice. We recently went trout fishing together and had a blast. There are unspoken limits between us and we both know we can't go back, this friendship seems to work very well.
petalbabe: Totally depends on:-
1. How and why the relationship broke up;cheating, violence and other nasties are hard to forgive and forget.
2. If you are harbouring any romantic feelings towards them still. If you are, and they just want to be "friends", then it would prove very difficult.
1. How and why the relationship broke up;cheating, violence and other nasties are hard to forgive and forget.
2. If you are harbouring any romantic feelings towards them still. If you are, and they just want to be "friends", then it would prove very difficult.
Spot on
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Damn right it is!!!