Can friends become lovers? ( Archived) (35)

Friends can be lovers, but lovers cannot be friends

It usually works out that my lover and best friend are rolled into one. I mean who knows you better, who are you more intimate with. I cant imagine one without the other.

I have a male friend whom I have known since I was 16. Today we are good friends. Would I fall in love...no...I am very fond of him, he is a wonderful friend. He cares for me...but neither of us is in love with each other.
Would being intimate with him ruin our friendship?...no...it would be separate from our friendship. We adore each other. Neither has that kind of desire for each other. If for some reason both of us were ravenous for mad passionate lovemaking..definitely we would, but after..back to being friends only. I hope that makes some kind of sense.

Could be the best lover is also your best friend, is that good thing?

they say that its good to have a lover whos your friend for a long time. at least you guys know each other well. its a matter of maturity, and both should take risk.. thats love.. taking risk. no boundaries.. no grudges holding you back.. if it fails then.. its not meant to be.

to answer the question if i have desire for one of my friends.. hmmm none.. my friends are like my bro and sis.. no malice at all. but way way back college years i got a friend who was almost a lover to me.. but we didnt opt to go to that lever coz of our closeness, we rather keep each other as really good friends:P:teddybear:

How can we be lovers if we cant be friends!!!!

Yes of course they can. Is that not how some relationships start out, as friends? Or do they usually start out as raging enemies hating the living daylights out of each other?

And if you are lovers then it is only common sense to say that you do indeed have some sort of friendship.

Yes, friends become lovers.
And yes, I would very much leap at the chance with one of my friends.

Well I thought long and hard about this and although I don´t believe it happens successfully offline, too much familiarity and all that, isn´t that what most of us start out as online..friends? Being friends online and starting the ball rolling to perhaps a deeper and more meaningful relationship when people meet can lead to more hopefully, so yes I think it is possible.

There is a world of difference between the relationships we have with friends offline and online.

Was gonna post something to the exact same effect to this post, V.

Unless you're into S 'n M, or just want a quick poke behind the nightclub on a Saturday Night, lovers are usually friends..

Yeah, but the friendship normally developes as a result of the mutual attraction.

When a close friend becomes a lover, if it goes wrong you lose the lover and friend... sometimes for a while more times forever

Exactly. Made me laugh too cheers DB

you are talking about lovers i think,so you are simply right,but i think the question was if just friends could turn to lovers.
myself desired an old friend who is so so closed .but never was able to analyse it for myself ,i mean when we were not together i felt the desire to date her but whenever we meet the old antimacy of 12 year made me forget about being lovers

You can't imagine how much I hope you're right.

lets talk r.l. here just for the sake of discussion. I don't think the friends first thing works. For me, and for most people I think it goes like this: Someone turns you're head. Who know why? Something about them. It's mutual. The whole chemistry thing happens. (that's the elusive part for me btw) You can't see them again soon enough. or often enough. The romance fire begins to rage. Friendship has to develop for the relationship to be long term but the lover thing comes first. With friends, the chemistry isn't there. If it was, you'd be lovers first, you couldn't help it. If you're friends, the mutual chemistry isn't there. You may become physical at some point, but I don't think it lasts because of a lack of that real raging chemistry.
The online stuff is a different animal. Distance is like forced restaint, remove it and chemistry takes over, same as rl. jmho. Oh no, I think I'm disagreeing with V again. Not good.

lover>>>>friend Yes
Friend>>>>lover No

yes,it s natural,when u find ur choice,u became attracted,attraction more turns to intimacy and intimacy give rise to love,so it s quite obvious.
above all "lovers are also friends first"