Ambrose2007 Forum Posts (8,881)

RE: Friendship, switchblade duels, backstabbing & sudden surprise cuts from the side in the cyber world

What - do I look crazy??

RE: Friendship, switchblade duels, backstabbing & sudden surprise cuts from the side in the cyber world

Dear Zeus, Captain, you're hijacking your own thread!

I had two posters on my bedroom wall: Jim Morrison and Grace Slick (when she was young and very hot!). What a deliciously dark pair!

RE: Friendship, switchblade duels, backstabbing & sudden surprise cuts from the side in the cyber world

This is a subject that's been discussed/debated numerous times here on CS, Captain. It's interesting to see people form camps on either side of that subject - granted, the larger camp is the "No freaking way/it's just fantasy" camp, but there are notable exceptions.

What would be interesting to me would be what psychologically sets these two viewpoints apart. I think very verbal people - especially those extremely comfortable with writing - would tend to be more sympathetic to the reality of virtual love/friendship, but then you certainly fit that description and yet feel strongly that it's not real...

This subject kind of reminds me of the "love at first sight" debate. I strongly fall in the category of those who reject that notion - what most would call the realistic, hard-headed, position - and yet believe that virtual love is not only possible, but actually occurs not uncommonly. My reasoning, distilled, is that there's nothing at all unrealistic about verbal communication as a basis for developing an emotional bond - after all, the words we say to each other compose most of how we relate to and get to know each other. Love at first sight, however, eschews actual knowledge of the person we supposedly love, so I don't see these as remotely comparable.

RE: Friendship, switchblade duels, backstabbing & sudden surprise cuts from the side in the cyber world

I don't think it's that difficult to understand why some people are affected positively and negatively by interactions here and on other discussion lists: they disagree with you about the possibility of online friendship being real.

I know I do. It is possible to develop very deep feelings, even love, for someone you've never met in the flesh. I have.

RE: WOULD YOU LIKE A DATE to QUIT SMOKING?

Coca Cola's not good for you, either!

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Whom are you calling FFS??

Saturday night...right...time for us successful relationship-types to get busy. A great time to try out my new computer games!!

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Yes. I would agree with that.

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Well, what was my claim, exactly? The only personal thing I said about your approach was the I "was not sure" it had worked for you (in response to John's seeming assumption that it had worked). Not particularly strong.

My main claims are logical in nature - for example, that by not reading and searching out profiles that one artificially limits one's search. Of course, one who eliminates perfectly good resources for finding people STILL could be successful in finding a mate. The question is - why would anyone disregard such a resource? My tentative answer is that perhaps they aren't truly serious about making a full effort.

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

I thought the figure was 99.94%, but I won't quibble.

Hey, I think we're "arguing" right now, L (by any reasonable definition) - that is, we're disagreeing and both presenting "arugments" for our position.

Your points really aren't addressing the heart of the issue. It's not about a few "lame sentences" (why the heck need they be lame? They certainly aren't in my experience), but rather about how we maximize our chances of meeting someone. There simply is no logical reason to disregard meaningful information from *any* source, and of course a profile self-description, particularly an elaborate one, is a source of information - potentially not just bogus information, but real, useful information.

It is a fact that I would not have found GG if I had not read her profile. It was a fantastic profile, and she lived up to it. I also would not have met many friends I've made here without seeing them on the forums or finding them through profile searches.

While a conversation can certainly be revealing, even a brief perusal of CSer experiences demonstrates clearly that it also does not always provide accurate information. Many people have been fooled here even after several meetings and conversations, and countless others outside CS have had the same sad experiences.

No single way of relating guarantees absolute knowledge of or success with a potential lover. As I wrote earlier, it makes no more sense to disregard what someone says about themselves - whether on paper or with their vocal cords - then it would to disregard what our own eyes are telling us about them. It's ALL information.

By refusing to read (and presumably search out) profiles, you're artificially limiting your pool of love-candidates, and very possibly missing out on the man - or men? - who could change your life, Laura.

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Exactly. And no, she wasn't from Mobile, though she might as well have been!

RE: A really geeky question on dating.. and stuff. .

"May the Force be with youse..." That's how they say it New Joisey, I take it!

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Sure. I've experienced that myself. A person can fudge "a lot" in a face-to-face meeting as well. Just not about the same things (one "slim" lady I met weighed much more than I!)!

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Well, I'm not sure it has worked for her. She and I have argued about that offlist, and I've suggested with my characteristic understated charm that she may have other motivations in being so critical of profiles. But even her profile says some concrete things about her that aren't about objective physical attributes.

My approach, on the other hand, has worked. I read profiles carefully, and have made some good friends - and one love of my life - as a result. It was GG's profile (my love) that attracted my attention, and what it said about her was completely accurate. If I'd taken Laura's approach I never would've spoken to her. How many people is she missing out on with her attitude (which is, to be blunt, logically indefensible)?

Profiles, like everything else (including face-to-face exchanges of information) do not confer absolutely accurate or complete knowledge about someone, but they are an invaluable resource in learning about possible friends and/or lovers.

It makes no more sense to disregard such information than it would make to attend a date wearing blinders or earplugs because the person might be lying or misrepresenting him or herself.

RE: A really geeky question on dating.. and stuff. .

Yeah, this thread seems to be semi-literally writhing with naughty/smart girls flirting with the "dark side." That's why I'm enjoying myself here this morning. Who needs coffee with this kind of stimulation?

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

But you've never talked to me in person, L. You've only read what I've written. How do you know it's not all a lie, a figment of my own self-perception? Why would you believe what I write in an email over what I've written on my profile?

You've never read my profile? Hmmmm...I could've sworn you quoted something from it to me once (or maybe that was someone else).

Then you should read it. You'll be in for a treat. And it tells you oodles of must-know information about me, I assure you!

Really, you'd never read a profile?? Surely some of them would be fun to read, no?

You're blowing me away in this thread, L! What a mind-boggling way to start a Saturday morning (I was already pumped from a 20 mile bike ride!)

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Makes me wonder what L does when she decides to talk to someone listed in a profile. Flip a coin? Throw a dart with her eyes closed? Throw dice?

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Even if I told you I "never tell the truth!"

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Exactly. Claims about objective facts such as height, race, hair-color, etc., need not be true, either. If Laura were to be consistent, she'd have to disregard all claims presented in a profile, not just the "unobjective" ones!

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

True, but you've never given any good reason for why "it wouldn't matter" to you.

Why in the world would someone's self-perception have no bearing on who that person is? A person's self-perception is inescapably part of who that person is. For instance, I have an in-law who believes she's the Queen of Sheeba, possessing extremely high intelligence and culture. In reality, she isn't a queen, and, in my view, is of fairly average intelligence. But the fact that she believes this about herself says something significant about herself, does it not???

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

What - the guy was having his emails/profile ghost-written?

There could be a "clash," true, but how often and how extreme? What are the probabilities involved? That is, how likely is that at least some of the way a guy expresses himself, and what he says about himself, bears no connection at all to the reality of who he is?

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Jeez...at least your being logically consistent (consistently absurd in your stance)!

Not that I can really believe anything you're writing, of course, since it can have no significance. Just the facts, ma'am. (Height, age, eye-color, and social security number.)

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

And how about the objective fact that a given profile is well-written? Are you claiming that a profile which is clever, funny, and well-written means *nothing*.

Jeez, Laura...

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Well, that's fine, but surely you can make use of the info in a profile to decide whom to talk to? For example, if a profile reads: "Into one-night stands, preferably involving Great Danes," you wouldn't waste time talking to him, right? Or would you?

RE: A really geeky question on dating.. and stuff. .

You should be, you evil girl, for listening to the wickedly wise "Laura"!

RE: A really geeky question on dating.. and stuff. .

I'm completely with you there, Laura. And as someone who's had his share of doubts and questions - and have created a few myself! - because of the presence of a "third-party," I very much appreciate the value of a monogamous twosome. It's hard enough for two people in love to align their lives without having others in the equation that have to be included as well.

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Well, sure, but not believing everything you read surely doesn't mean you ought to, as Laura recommends, completely disregard what's written in a profile, right? One doesn't logically follow from the other...

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

And what can you "perceive" about them sans any personal information (you even post personal preferences on your own profile, violating your own dictum! ).

How could you possibly choose anyone to talk to without personal information? There's a helluva lot of profiles here and on other singles sites to choose from, and personal information, entirely accurate or no, offers a means to narrow one's search and avoid wasting potentially massive amounts of time...

RE: Do We Believe What One Writes In Profile?

Really, you "don't pay any attention on what's in their profile"?? Even if everything isn't objectively true, surely how a person describes themselves does impart some meaningful information?

Jeez, if you just went by age, location, height, etc., you'd be ignoring most of the things that sets any individual apart from others, right?

RE: A really geeky question on dating.. and stuff. .

Though I agree with your stance on this issue, as you know, L, I don't think it follows that because you're with someone that they are necessarily your "type" in any ideal sense. One could argue that the attraction was, at a minimum, sufficient for you to be their lover, but in my experience and observation it's not uncommon for couples *not* to be *that* into each other physically.

RE: I'm back and I'm hurt severly

I can't bloody believe how long this thread has gone on! What a travesty!